Nitsua

Nitsua's Trials and Tibulations

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Hello, this is my first big project of the summer. Being that as of now it is July 19th, you can tell how my summer has been. So far, I have moved from Pennsylvania to Virginia. And It's been a tough ride. I can't see any of my previous friends, and the neighborhood has an average age of, like, 500 years old. Seriously, there is maybe 10 people below the age 25 in this entire neighborhood. Unless you count the shady looking people. It's safe, at least. Anyway, I need someone. I'm a little lonely. I can't go outside and talk to people,because there is no one to talk to. I am also a bit indecisive. Mostly when it comes to semi-important, to important choices. Not life choices necessarily, but the type of choice you might go as far as to make a pros and cons, maximum. I need another opinion, and I need a friend. I need someone closer to me. How can you get any closer thank someone who is sharing my body, and consciousness? Anyways, enough about the sappy story of my life.

 

It's been 3 days since I have found tulpas. I actually found them through a friend on an IRC. We were solving some riddles, and we were stuck on one for almost 12 hours. (Of course, I wasn't awake for the duration of all of this.) He had said "Damn, I don't know how to deal with this any other way. I wish I had a tulpa." I was like, What's a tulpa? He didn't say anything more. But I found myself a little curious. Well, I found myself in mysterious world. I was skeptical at first. But then I wormed my way into the culture. I realized, Why would there be thousands of people working together and collaborating on something that doesn't exist. There would be too much hate mail and hate posts and news for such a large troll. So with that, I delved deeper.

 

Progress Report || 7/19/15 || #1:

 

After 3 days of constant searching. I have all of my Tulpa's traits down. I'm calling her Lucy, although I'm telling her it's just a place holder name and gender. I am creating her to be somewhat opposite of me, which is where that hole 'second opinion' thing comes in. I figured I'd create her to be like that, and have her deviate from there. I will be very open with the deviation, with both traits and form. As long as she/he/it is able to talk and hang out, I'm fine. It is this passive nature of mine that led me to create her. So that's what I'll use. I have a little trouble visualizing ANYTHING though. So my main focus for this thing is to visualize my wonderland. I may post drawings of my Wonderlands, but hey, visualization comes first. I know that staring at a computer screen for a month is definitely not helping my imagination, so it might take a bit of time. But I feel like I should at least make a home for the person I'm bringing to life. I may talk to Lucy a bit more, while I'm focusing on the Wonderland creation. But Wonderland comes first for me, even if it's optional in Tulpamancing. So far, I see the faintest and briefest out line of the hill, river and shadow of the tree. I hope to make it more like a lucid dream. I'll be using this guide for concentrating. I feel that hypnosis will then slip into just focusing and being able to do it, and then finally being able to visualize on command. That seems like the end of my first report. Thanks for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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Progress Report || 7/20/15 || #2

 

Alright folks, it's the morning here in America. After yesterday's post, I went up to my room, shut the lights and the blinds, and turned my iPad's brightness all the way down. I began reading the scripts for self-hypnotism, and it seemed to work out a little. Obviously I'm not going to have those vivid, lucid day-dream type open-eye imaginations, that comes with months of practicing, but I think was working decently, I'm going to try a couple more times, before I make my own personal script. I think it'll work out. I do believe it's working though. I am having trouble with my sense of smell though. And touch. Sight kinda worked, although it was mostly all tinted, in a way. And I couldn't hear anything at all.

 

My Wonderland is a very small place for now. Right now, I have this image of a river in front of me, a picnic blanket that I'm laid out on top of a hill the blanket is under the shadow of a tree. At the foot of the hill is the river, but behind me, the hill goes up farther, so I'm on top of a mid-hill plateau. I see a picnic basket and when I got to pull something out, I can pull out some bread. For some reason, I can sense Italian, white bread, to be exact. But remember, I can't really see, it's as if I'm squinting really, really, hard, I can sort of sense that it is there. And the after image of me holding bread in front of a picnic basket is just sort of an afterimage, like when you close you're eyes really fast, and you can see everything that was in front of you for a second or two, before it's just pure darkness and blobs.

 

Anyway, this exactness/not-exactness is confusing me. And after I did my hypnosis session, I forced to Lucy for a while. I read of he personality traits, but I realized afterwords that I didn't try any symbolism. I don't know if symbolism helps me personally, because I've never tried it. From what I hear, the general consensus is that symbolism works for most people. I'll definitely try symbolism the next time I read off personality traits. BTW for now she's just an orb, so I'll imagine other orbs or words being absorbed by her. I've been telling her that Lucy is just a placeholder name/gender/race, and that when she speaks, she can tell me what she want's to be. I making that a kind of motivation. I've been trying to do the 'left head pressure is Yes' 'right head pressure is No' sort of thing. I know that method can be unreliable, so I take it with a grain of salt. I think she's fine with being female, I can't tell if she likes the name Lucy or not, and I didn't ask about race.

 

I do have 1 symbolism though. I heard about a focusing/visualization technique where at the end of the day, you recall everything you did that day, but backwards. Starting with what you did before you got into bed, then going all the way to what you did right before you woke up. I've been kind of taking snapshots of important things that happen, so that they're easier to visualize at the end of the day. Like yesterday, I built a sandcastle for the first time in 5 years (five years ago, I was in San Diego, California. We moved from there to Pennsylvania, and then to Virginia.), I was at the beach. Well, I took a snapshot, and I used that snapshot while forcing, I imagined my self in wonderland, with Orb Form Lucy. I kind reached my hand out to her, and let her light rest on my hand, I then kinda sent the snapshot along my arm. I hope she got it. But that was my symbolism that I used. Anyway, that's my report. Thank's for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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Things are starting to pick-up:

 

Progress Report || 7/21/15 || #3

 

Well, I have come to realization, that my Wonderland is good how it is. I don't know what led me to this realization, be yesterday, as I was doing my daily session of self-hypnosis, I found myself (after the session), being able to wander around that half-squint, hazy type surrounding. Is this what they call a Wonderland? For some reason, I always thought that it would be like walking in a lucid dream, with full color, and all 5 senses are as good as IRL. I guess that was too much of my Imagination-deprived brain to ask for. But oh well, I think this is Wonderland, and I'm fine. I'll still do the Visualizing Wonderland script, for about a week or so, just to keep visualizing Wonderland fresh in my memory, but I think I'll also work on my Tulpa.

 

I also did another thing on impulse. I gave Lucy, a form of sorts. I spent the time (took me almost half an hour), but I gave her the form of a woman. I wanted to try giving her an entire human anatomy. I started with the bone structure. Starting from the feet, I made a full skeleton. I tried to include as many bones as I could possibly remember about from health and all those great classes I had to take years ago. Although (understandably) I couldn't get all 47 hand bones in each hand, and visualize them, I was able to get all the important parts in there. The leg bones, the knee caps, the rib cage, the arm bones, I worked a little rushed on the skull, It is pretty complicated after all. Then I pulled the flesh, muscle and skin, over the bones, wrapping them around what I knew to previously exist. Then I started on organs. Organs were a little easier, starting with the esophagus, then working my way down to the stomach, large intestine, and so on, until I got to the buttocks. Gave her kidneys, a liver, and an appendix to boot. I gave her the respiratory system, and finally the heart and brain and vocal cords.

 

Going back through the list, I think I may forgotten a few important ones, like a tongue, I gave her the shape of a nose, but I don't think I gave her the sinus system in detail. I'm sure many people don't even do this, but I feel like I need to for some reason. I gave her hair, and then imagined a wheelchair, an behind us was a small tailor shop, I gave her what she needed, and I brought her back to the blanket. I started her heart and lungs, and measured her proportions. She seemed to be good, but she wasn't speaking or moving. I kinda puppeted her to sit up, and stay sitting, but that was about it. I got all this anatomy guide to do all of this. I recommend it, because it seemed to help me visualize her in great detail. I hope she liked the form I gave her, now all is left, is ALL the forcing. That's my third progress report. Thank's for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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And now they're slowing down:

 

No progress was made today. Or at least not anything noticeable, but to follow, my daily progress report streak, I might as well explain everything that happened.

 

Progress Report || 7/22/15 || #4

 

We'll If you've noticed, I usually write these notes in the morning, detailing about what has happened the previous night. I usually do my, hypnotism/forcing session for about 2-3 hours. I only do it at night, because the light from the sun creeps in my windows, and I just can't fall in a trance unless it's dark. Strange, I know. I can't use a blindfold either, because I have to see my screen to read the script, obviously. So, I usually go upstairs at about 9 o'clock (CURSE YOU SUMMER!!!) and I do the hypnotism session.

 

Today was a little different, I was halfway in the Reader's Induction script, when I heard a door slam. That's not unusual, but, it did forcibly snap me from my trance, or at least that's what I suspect. My mistake was continuing on, instead of starting at the beginning, like a good Nitsua should. I don't believe I got the full benefits of the trance, and sadly, that was my first time reading the General Tulpaforcing script. BTW, I am now switching Tulpaforcing, and Wonderland Visualization scripts, in and out everyday now. Anyways, I continued to force after after the session, and I was as focused as usual. Usually after hypnotism, I force, because it feels more clear.

 

Today, during forcing, I tried something new. I read testing's guide on vocality, and decide to use the random thought method today. Now, I was a little confused he said random thoughts, and thinking about your tulpa, in the same sentence. I tried doing this, and I tried to sort of stream my thoughts to Lucy, to see if she would talk. I don't know if the headache I got was a coincidence, or if I was doing his method right, but, I definitely hurt a little, so I stopped, did some Narration, and continued with the method. I still don't know if I actually made progress using this method, but I think I might've heard something, although I'm 60-70% sure that I'm parroting. But hey, I'm parrotnoid, what can I say. I think it's all this attention on parroting and servitors. It's going to make people naturally parrotnoid. But like I said, it could've been her. She didn't 'say' much other than "Okay" and "Yes" and one word answers like that, because once again, I was thinking the most random thought's like "Sorry my room's so messy I should really clean it." or "Yeah, I was thinking of getting a cello spray painted electric blue, but instead I got one in midnight black. Do you think blue would've been to flashy?". I was thinking at about the speed of that one 6th grader that ask WAY too many questions, so honestly I don't think I would've heard her speak, even if she was.

 

I don't have a set method, or idea for Narration forcing, so I'll use that method for a week or so. So now my forcing schedule consists of self-hypnotism, and talking to the (maybe)voices in my head so fast, your head starts hurting. Isn't that your everyday schedule? Yeah, I feel like that's not the way to come out of the tulpa closet to your friends/family/spouse/etc. I guess this is what they call the 'repetition' part of the mental workout that will soon be my life.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If want to tell me I'm doing it wrong (positively), then feel free to reply. After all, this is like my 5th post on the forums. I'm sure someone will suggest something soon! Hate mail can stay in my PM box, thank you. I'll report back tomorrow. Thanks for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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What do you mean you didn't 'force well'??? :

 

Well it's a long story.

 

Progress Report || 7/23/15 || #5

 

Last night was a little hectic. I was in the middle of my usual hypnotism, and halfway through the deepening script, I heard a knock. This knock, sounded like it was coming from my door. So, with my luck, it jolted me, because of course, it's completely unexpected. Turns out it wasn't my door, and nobody was knocking, actually just drooped something. But hey, what are you going to do? Better luck next time. I still did the full hypnosis session, but that isn't what caused me to not force well, nor did that even matter.

 

What was truly unexpected was the noise that came after my hypnosis session. I had just gotten to the good part of my Wonderland visualization. I was having a picnic with Lucy, like I usually do, I could kinda taste the watermelon, too. But of course, the most strangest thing happens.

 

Mother. Fucking. Gunshots.

 

8 - 12 of them straight in a row. The way they were fired didn't sound like it was a firework or anything. I highly doubted it was fireworks, because we are almost a full month away from the 4th of July, and when I *Cautiously* peeked outside my window, I saw no light. Also, it was 10 O'clock at night. Luckily, I could tell they weren't in front of my house, they were at least 2 or 3 streets away.

 

>Inb4 robber uses our backyard as a lay-low.

 

Unfortunately, every single one of the people living inside the house didn't hear this. One was downstairs, with the TV blared, while she had noise cancelling headphones, listing to NOT the TV. And one was on the Mac, with full over ear headphones, listening to a stream of Agar.io (I know, he's a imbicle). Anyway, I yelled downstairs, "Should I be worried?!?"

 

Mother fucking gunshots outside you're neighborhood, what do you think? Not the smartest question. I explained that I think I heard gunshots, and we proceeded to lock all the doors in the house. Enough said, I couldn't exactly focus on Lucy, or Wonderland, or sleeping that night. This neighborhood is full of old people too! Who want's to shoot up old people. Well, thanks neighborhood shooter, you distracted me from the voices in my head. Hmmm... I probably shouldn't tell that to the police. Anyway, I've spoken enough, and that's my 5th report. I hope you enjoyed me fearing for my life, 'cause I know I didn't. ;) Thanks for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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Wait, what time is it??? :

ADVENTURE TIME!!!

No no, it's 10:30!!

 

Progress Report || 7/24/15 || #6

 

Oh god, now I feel terrible. I'm not going to make a long story short, so to tell the truth, I wasted 1 and 1/2 hours on TV. Yeah, yeah buy me a mug that says "World's Worst Host." I didn't even get my hypnotism done! I only got a half hour of forcing done, which brings my hour mark to an even 5 hours or so. Oh well, what are you going to do, rewind time? I spent the first 10 minutes or so apologizing to Lucy, because I seriously screwed up, an the next 20 minutes not talking about anything useful, with intermittent apologies in between. I felt so bad, even though I (probably) know Lucy forgives me.

 

But on the slightly-less darker side, My visualization seems to be better. Normally I need a hypnosis session to access my subconscious, but It seems as though I was fine this time around. Maybe I'm just getting better. During forcing, I teleported us to a family-style, breakfast restaurant, and ordered chocolate pancakes, I bet they tasted great (I can't really taste much). I proceeded to order OJ for her, and a strawberry lemonade special I saw at an IHop once. I realized somehow that the pancakes are from Denny's, so I was wondering what to call this place. Somehow, during my Narration ramblings, I cam to know it as DenHop, and for some reason, I think we both laughed. So, maybe a hint of suggestion coming from Lucy, and maybe her own emotions. But that would be all that really happened. Or, at least that's all I have to report. I seriously almost decided I would break my 1 day streak , but something in my said that this is too valuable to break. I then proceeded to argue with the voices on my head about how nobody really cares about this thread, and how I'm just doing it to look back one day and say how stupid I was. Then another voice agreed and we all made up in the end. You're average Tuesday, really. Anyway's that's what I have to day, any questions, comment, SUGGESTIONS, or concerns? Then please reply, I'd love to hear from you. (Seriously guys, what can I do to better myself in this area. I'm sure everyone is infinitely more experienced in this than me.) Thanks for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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WTF, How can you do this shit twice in a row? :

To be fair, it isn't my fault. Or at least I don't think it was...

 

Progress Report || 7/25/15 || #7

 

Well, remember, that little incident, with the knock, and the gunshots. Well, I got interrupted, again, for the third time, in a row. And I had to ship on the hypnotism section, for the second time, in a row. Little backstory: I had to go out to get some milk for my daily bowl of cereal. Now, I had been living off of almond milk for a while, and if you got a good brand, almond milk is actually better than regular milk. But, I had apparently decided it would be a good idea, that I should just switch to regular milk suddenly. Anyways, after not processing that much dairy for more than 3 years, (although, I eat cheese, and such) my stomach gave in, and it hurt, a lot. All I could do for the day was to lay down, for most of the day anyway. Sitting or standing would give me pains.

 

So, I couldn't focus too much on what had to be done. But here isn't where this all fell apart. I am going on a trip (In my favorite rocketship), and my family, obviously worried, decided to call my name, in the middle of the Deepening script. I can't just ignore them, so I forcefully broke away from the binds of hypnosis, and quickly turned on the lights. They walked in, noticing nothing but a chair and a cup of water in the middle of the room. But whatever, it was close enough near my desk, that I could justify it being there. But yeah, a whole 30 min of prep now gone to waste, and I just barely got to the good part of hypnosis. Sucks to be me and my tulpa right now. I'm about to go on a week long journey, starting this Sunday, and I will have an hour of forcing, in the past 2 days, and no hypnotism for the past 2 days. God. Damn. It. I bought the mug by the way.

 

1203550466_WorldsWorstHost.jpg.24a5a8888be27fa378fac1316f27eda4.jpg

 

Anyway's, for Narration, I babbled on to Lucy about absolutely nothing really important or worth saying. But I have a couple of questions. For anybody that may actually read this, and actually respond. Does lucid dreaming come as a side effect of focusing on visualization? For the past two days, I've been able to clearly remember dreaming, even though for the past 2 years, I haven't been able to remember a single detail about my dreams. (Besides a few thing here and there, but you get the jist.) And also, If I get a sentient and vocal Tulpa, and I have a lucid dream, and I imagine her in my dream, will still be sentient and vocal and stuff, or will she be an NPC like the rest of my dream-people?

 

I guess those questions take a person on lucid dreaming to answer. I'll read a couple of guides on the matter, but otherwise, if you want to comment a couple of guides you feel are good, go ahead. Or if you are a lucid dreamer with a Tulpa, then please, respond in this thread. That's everything on yesterday's events. How do you like my mug, I had it specially ordered. In fact, I might just force it into Wonderland. I find it kinda funny. But hey, that's just me. Thanks for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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Farewell, Adieu, Abschied, or whatever. I'm leaving:

Forever?

I think a small part of you wants me to leave forever...

Maybe...

 

Progress Report || 7/26/15 || #8

 

For those who care, I'm leaving today. I'll come back this upcoming Friday I believe. It wont be a 'fun' necessarily 5 days, but I'll be worth it. Anyways, nothing too much happened during last night's session. It went as expected, NO INTERRUPTIONS, which was the best part of it all. I finally got a good session in. Although, that's the last forcing/hypnotism session I'll have for a while. No, I can't bring the papers with me, and no, I can't speak aloud without being heard. I can however, do whatever the hell I want in my mind. So this entire week, I'll be slowly increasing my Passive Forcing abilities. I trained my Visualization in just 3 days, so I should get Passive Forcing down fairly quickly.

 

I'm going to a military type event. There will be other people there as well as me in the ranks of the mock-Navy. The program I'm doing is like a ROTC program. Right now, I'm doing a summer training so that I may advance one day. This training I think has something to do with robotics or something of that nature. Or swimming. Either way, I should be fine, although, I'm not the most efficient swimmer. Thank you for (theoretically) worrying though! Too bad I have nothing else to talk about, because nothing really developed last night. I hope this short, but important update was still read, because that's all I have to say for this report, and the next week. Thanks for listening if you are!


..And remember folks. Don't be a cheeky cunt on the Internet! You'll get smacked.

Host: Nitsua {Nit for short}

Tulpa: Lucy [placeholder name/gender/race]

Started: 7/19/2015

My Progress Report

If you can guess the origin of my name, you get cake.

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"Does lucid dreaming come as a side effect of focusing on visualization?"

I don't think lucid dreaming is a side effect, however I did read somewhere in a lucid dreaming guide that you will experience lucid dreaming when you are aware that you are dreaming, perhaps tulpamancing is making you more aware.

 

"If I get a sentient and vocal Tulpa, and I have a lucid dream, and I imagine her in my dream, will still be sentient and vocal and stuff, or will she be an NPC like the rest of my dream-people?"

This depends on if it really is your tulpa or not in the dream, a tulpa has the ability to enter dreams, mine have done it many times, he's normal like he would be in real life, however if it isn't him, he acts like an NPC, even if it isn't him he's still vocal just not sentient, no dream person in my opinion is sentient since they just seem programmed to act a certain way and say certain things, they seem empty of life, if you happen to be in a lucid dream, try to call out for you tulpa instead of imagining.

 

also good luck to you on your trip.


**Proud to be a drug free thoughtform!**

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Wow, you actually came to the right conclusion from what little you know of lucid dreaming, I'm impressed. Yes, any activity that increases your awareness in waking life, be it introspection on your own thoughts, meditation, or an activity requiring a large amount of focus, can increase your overall awareness and improve your chances of realizing you're dreaming.

 

"If I get a sentient and vocal Tulpa, and I have a lucid dream, and I imagine her in my dream, will still be sentient and vocal and stuff, or will she be an NPC like the rest of my dream-people?"

 

This is an amazing question from someone so new. If I may say so myself.. Because I'm trying to answer it right now, years after discovering tulpas and answering most other questions. Lucid dreaming has been a goal of mine for, well, longer than I've had tulpas, but I have motivation issues when doing anything long-term and haven't met much success yet. I'm currently working on lucid dreaming with my tulpas to answer exactly that, and many other questions. In fact, part of my motivation now to lucid dream is to research tulpas with them, so I can answer more questions for more people.

 

So, thank you for asking! I've no idea! But I don't know if anyone else does either. I'll do my best to find the answer for you.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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