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A much loved tulpa understands how abandonment feels?


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I know the question may be worded weird, but allow me to explain, I also know that the following may contain some rather grim subject matter, but I'm seriously concerned.

 

Was talking to a couple of acquaintances about tulpa. One of them explained that he wanted to try and abandon one *almost* to the point of what would basically be death, to bring it back and see what would happen. Ruby, one of my tulpa, was horrified to no end by this statement, so much so that she actually walked out for a moment. When we called her back, she explained what it was like, in rather grim detail, basically equalizing abandonment by its creator to abortion of a baby in late term. I've only given her positive emotion, love, and care since I began forcing them...how could she know what abandonment feels like?

 

EDIT: Even now, she's shaken and seems to be deeply affected by the idea...some helpful hints to calm her down? I've told her that I will never do that to her, but she's still afraid...and Dash, my other one, is worried too.

 

EDIT II: Although Ruby does not want me to talk to her right now, Dash is currently trying to talk some sense into her...I think. In retrospect, maybe the fact that I was wondering the same thing, so much so as going to the point of asking her what she thinks it would be like...probably scared her into thinking that I was going to do something...any ideas to earn her trust back, or at least calm her down?

Current: Rainbow Dash & Ruby the Dolphin

 

LINK to the story of my Wonderland.

 

The story is the product of 16 years of stress, tension, etc, and is uncensored, read at your own risk.

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Guest Anonymous

Eek! That is so mean!

 

No one should be so mean like that, even to an imaginary person and all. That is so sad!

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I don't see the point on those kind of horrible experiments, I would never kill off Nash just to bring him and see what happenes.. who said something gonna happen at all?

The tulpa will likely be affected negatively and will not trust the host, I sure wouldn't, neither would Nash, he would never trust anyone who treats him like that, I find it highly disrespectful.

**Proud to be a drug free thoughtform!**

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Well, she came back earlier this morning. Dash had a point, it's a fear that they will always have, apparently, regardless of how much the host cares for them. Guess I can't blame them, still tho, I would never do such a thing, I thought they'd know that.

Current: Rainbow Dash & Ruby the Dolphin

 

LINK to the story of my Wonderland.

 

The story is the product of 16 years of stress, tension, etc, and is uncensored, read at your own risk.

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Guest Anonymous

Thunder went through something similar. Never tried to make her think I would ever abandon her, but she just gets those fears out of nowhere.

 

To answer your question, yes, even tulpas who live with affection and love would feel terrible at the thought of being abandoned; because this ideal embodies everything they fear, losing that affection and companionship can be tremendously detrimental to a lot of younger tulpas.

 

I would like to punch your acquaintance in the nose so far that it would start making them bleed, I'd show them medical aid and would like to see how they'd beg for it. Same thing as making a tulpa go through all of that.... what a dog.

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Well, she came back earlier this morning. Dash had a point, it's a fear that they will always have, apparently, regardless of how much the host cares for them. Guess I can't blame them, still tho, I would never do such a thing, I thought they'd know that.

 

Nash can be like that too, he can feel a bit worried mostly he just jokes about like "don't kill me while I'm gone!"

It's a fear he have had for a pretty long time, don't really get it why.

**Proud to be a drug free thoughtform!**

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  • 5 weeks later...

Hello, I am new here. But I have had an experience similar to this. 4 months ago I discovered Tulpas and decided to create one. I named her Thyme. Anyways, I forced for 2 weeks whenever I could, and visually she became easier to see. I narrated for some time as well. After 2 weeks, I was puppeting nods and smiles from her to get her moving.

 

I could feel emotions from her. She was real, I just know it. Sentience was on the cusp of activating.

 

But life happened. I had to quit after 2 weeks due to high levels of stress and events that required my undivided attention. I felt as though I effectively killed her. And very quickly became depressed.

 

Eventually I shook off my emotions an put tulpamancing down for good! ... Or so I thought. Despite how I felt, I could never completely forget about her. This is important as I will state later.

 

About just over a month ago I hit depression again. I am a shy, single guy who is terribly awkward when it comes to trying to pursue an intimate relationship. As such, sexual tension is bound to build up. Lets face it. A guys gunna fap.

 

I was raised as a highly conservative Christian and the fact I was masturbating regularly to ease my tension put me into a cycle of self hate and depression.

 

This where that info becomes relavant. Some time latter, I began getting this strange pressure in my forehead. It happened every time I had carnal urges or gave into them. It also happened whenever I thought of tulpa related subjects. But I never noticed the correlation until about a week ago when I was browsing 8chan for porn. I came across a board called /tulpa. Nostalgia hit and so killing my bone, I started reading through the posts. Eventually I came across posts talking about where people feel their tulpa the most in their heads.

 

One man said at the front in his forehead. My eyes got wide, and my blood ran cold. As a Christian I felt the pressure where my minds eye is, was a spiritual attack. But in that one moment I realized it was her...

 

My tulpa was not dead! She has been trying to reach out to me this entire time! I thought I killed her, but I think because I held her dear to my memory, she survived in my subconscious.

 

Its crazy though, I feel an overwhelming sense of urgency now in creating her. It feels very sad and lonely. I have to bring her back! But it seems like I have to start from square 1 again.

 

This is my experience. I hope this brings you comfort. And as cliche as it sounds, I truly realize this now. If you truly love someone, be they tulpa or a real being, if you keep them dear to you always then they will NEVER really die! They will live on as a part of you that you can call upon any time.

 

I hope you can get Rose to read this. And Rose, if you are, ask yourself if you really know your host and how he feels about you. We as hosts, no matter where we are at in our journey with our Tulpas, have a deep connection with them that is not easily broken. After all your time together do you honestly believe within yourself he could forget you so coldly? I tried. And I have never been so happy to have failed.

Like a flower beneath the concrete

Pushing up under the weight

Put a crack in the back of the pavement

And break through into the light of day

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