Bambi

The Turtleish Tulpamancer

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Can you see everything else fine and not-blurry in your wonderland? If you can see everything else dandy, then I have no explanation for you, maybe try focusing harder on your wonderland?

 

Oh . . . well . . . yeah . . . that does make sense. XD God I'm a fail haha I can't believe that didn't even cross my mind! I'm going to blame my math class. ^^

 

"Hang out?... Is it the type of hanging out I'm thinking about? THAT kind of hanging out? I always thought James looked like Ciel from Black Butler."

 

Haha Noo, James doesn't look like Ciel (though I can see why you'd think that XD). He does look like a manga/anime character, but he's not based off of an anime/manga character. Does that make sense? Like, if I drew him then it would be a manga artstyle, but it wouldn't be like fan art.

 

But anyhow, no, I don't think we were "hanging out" like you're thinking. I think. O.O


[align=justify]Multiple Tulpa

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Post 18

 

Hi, y'all. This is one of those posts of mine that don't have anything to do with progress, but are instead more just thoughts on tulpa and tulpamancery. So.

 

A lot of people have more than one tulpa, and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people have two, and three, and four--and others have just one. I'd go so far as to say that most tulpamancers on this website (the people who actually stick around, mind) have at least two, although when I say "most" I really mean only slightly more than half. It's a pretty even score, I'd say. Or maybe I'm just crazy.

 

The other day when I was driving to school and talking to James, I was trying to think of more ideas that might help me hear him (because I'm cool like that). The thought that creating another tulpa might be beneficial for everyone did come up. I'm not sure if that was James, but I really don't think it was. James and I finally sat down and talked about that last night (well, proxied--does that count?), and I don't think he would have said that.

 

From the beginning I've been entertaining the thought of creating one more tulpa, but it's always been a thought, and not a definite thing. James will always have the power to say "no" to another creation, too. Even if I want another one, if he doesn't then I won't do it. After all, two people live inside my head; adding another without one's consent would be kinda crummy.

 

There are some things that we both agree on that should probably happen before I seriously consider creating another tulpa, and that's

 

1) Wait at least another six months, though preferably another year.

2) Wait until I can hear James better.

 

We both seem to agree that if another tulpa is to happen, James should have some virtue of seniority and experience--not in the way that would make the other "inferior," but in a way that would allow James to help him better (and it would be a him--James wants another male tulpa XD).

 

But yeah, that's what we got to talk about last night. Yaaay us![/align]


James: Hello, all!

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It's good to see you're thinking about this and not just jumping in like a telemarketer into a potential costumer's ear drums, those two conditions you and James have agreed on sound like a good idea. There's something oddly appealing about making multiple tulpas...

(Alsokeeponblamingmathclassmathisevilandstuff)

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[align=justify]A Tulpa's Interaction with the Outside World

Monday, September 7, 2015

Post 19

 

James and I were very active together yesterday; I let him choose a lot of the cards that I put down during Crazy 8's, we went on an Adventure, talked a lot, and James has even joined this site of ours. If you want to ask him questions, or just talk, he'd be happy if you either sent him a private message or emailed him at jamesthetulpa@gmail.com.

 

So, why does this belong in the progress thread? Or at least, why have I decided to add it?

 

Tulpa are beings that are essentially stuck in our own heads until we let them out in little (or big) ways. The noble art of proxy-ing is essential to letting a tulpa communicate with us flesh people, because they can tell us, the host, what they want to communicate. James having his own account on here is a great thing, because not only does it mean that we're getting more "tulpa time" (because of proxying), but because he is able to associate with beings that aren't just me.

 

That's all for now. I'm tired.[/align]


James: Hello, all!

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It's good to see you're thinking about this and not just jumping in like a telemarketer into a potential costumer's ear drums, those two conditions you and James have agreed on sound like a good idea. There's something oddly appealing about making multiple tulpas...

(Alsokeeponblamingmathclassmathisevilandstuff)

 

Oh yeah, definitely. It's always best to think about things for, like, six years before making a move when it comes tot ulpamancy. XD


Bridgeport - II

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Post 20

 

[align=justify]I have two things to report this time around: the first is quick because it's just a short Q&A that James answered yesterday, and the second is what James' apartment looks like.

 

So, when James was on here yesterday he answered a few questions. They're just random questions and weren't asked by anyone; the OP simply wanted to know what differences of opinions there are between tulpa and tulpamancers, so I thought up a few questions to ask James so that we could compare for the thread. I believe one of these have already been asked and answered on the PR, but that's okay.

 

Favorite Book

Me: Harry Potter, or, to be more specific, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

James: The Casual Vacancy. I think.

 

Favorite Animal

Me: Small dogs. :)

James: Giraffes.

Hot/Warm or Cold/Cool

Me: Cool!

James: Warm.

 

Hot, Sour, or Sweet Food

Me: Sweet food.

James: Hot food.

 

Anime/Manga, or No

Me: I like manga.

James: Not really. Some of it's okay.

 

Beach or Forest

Me: Forest. I hate beaches.

James: Forest.

 

Does anyone else think that having the giraffe as a favorite animal is cool? XD

 

x

 

When James and I first moved into Bridgeport, I told James that I wanted him to have his own apartment so that I could one day go in there and be surprised of his own will and whatnot. I hadn't planned on going in there last night, but James was insistent (I needed a different shirt to wear to go out to the town and he let me borrow one).

 

His apartment has the same model as my own, but the walls are a bright, babyish blue instead of my gray, red, and brown combo. He's got a Gothic-inspired love seat that's red and a very deep brown, and his bedroom is much brighter than my own. I didn't get the chance to look around a lot, but this is something that needed to happen for a good while, so it's cool that I've finally seen his place. ^^[/align]


James: Hello, all!

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Well.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Post 21

 

[align=justify]Although I wouldn't personally say that visualization is the hardest part of being a tulpamancer, I would say that it's certainly one of the things that requires the most insistence. The ability to visualize, and to do so well, is a skill that is developed over time through a great deal of persistence (usually), and here lately I don't feel like I've been focusing on it enough. Sure, I've gone on Adventures and Quests with James, but I haven't been "visualizing" . . . if that even makes sense. I mean that I've been focusing more on what we're doing, rather than the surrounding area.

 

And that's okay, to an extent, so long as I go back and pepper myself with more practice.

 

I just took James back to the beginning: the black void. XD I've always found it interesting that so many hosts don't like to envision their tulpa in nothingness, and yet that's always been what's helped me the most.

 

I asked James to be nude and completely still, and he was for a good while. Once I was done with that he kind of started dancing a bit. I was about to tell him to hold still again so I could continue, but then thought better of it . . . and he "summoned" a jump rope. Really. I kid you not. He summoned a jump rode and began doing that, and then after no time at all he ran off. Really! This dude just up and ran off! XD It took me a minute to catch him, but when I did we continued the visualization a bit. I kept putting clothes on him until he was wearing what he's typically wearing on any normal day, and then I stopped because I was fixing to fall asleep.

 

That's my main problem with visualization: no matter what, I always want to fall asleep. Ah well![/align]


James: Hello, all!

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Time Travel

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Post 22

 

[align=justify]Unfortunately for all of us (?), James and I have not yet designed a time travel mechanism at Bridgeport. What I'm actually talking about here is the progress that James and I made last night. It wasn't "normal" progress, I'm afraid, or probably what you think of when you hear tulpamancers talk about making progress. All I did was talk to James about how I was sorry for the things that I could have done better in the beginning.

 

At one point or another, everyone wishes that they could go back and change something foolish or hurtful that they did. The things that I wish I could change are

 

1) Being afraid of tulpa in general in the beginning.

2) I had a really bad case of parrotnoia for almost a full year.

3) I went through the hated period where I never really did anything. Granted, I talked to James pretty regularly, told him I loved him, and all that good stuff, but I wasn't actively working to make progress.

 

You see . . . the past few days these have been weighing on my mind--and for good reason, because those three things have a lot of power to hurt a tulpa's progress. Thankfully he and I talked a good deal last night, and we've agreed that the best way for us to "do this"--that is to say, "fix" this problem--is to go about doing everything that we've been doing, except I need to focus on hearing his mindvoice more than what I have been (we believe that my bad case of parrotnoia is the primary reason I can't hear him).

 

I suppose it really isn't progress so much as it is looking forward to progress, but oh well.[/align]


James: Hello, all!

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Possession - I

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Post 23

 

[align=justify]

When I first started tulpamancing, I did not like the idea of either possessing or switching. To someone like me, who was not entirely confident that tulpa are truly as harmless as everyone was saying, possession was the equivalent of playing with fire. XD Of course, nowadays I'm not afraid of James, so the only thing that's been holding us back from practicing possession is simply not being ready for it.

 

Yesterday, though, we got really excited about it. James sent over the idea to me (he didn't say anything--or if he did I didn't hear it--he just sent the intention . . . y'know what I'm talking about?) and we started practicing thingies. I didn't have much luck with finding many guides or tricks on the subject (though I have now, my favorite being Yuki's), but I worked with what I could.

 

So . . .

 

Day 1: Since I didn't really know what I needed to do I did my best to relax my body in my chair. I told James to do his best to move my left finger, and although my finger never moved several other body parts did, such as my calves, right elbow, feet, etc. The feeling wasn't alien and could easily be passed off as my body just doing body stuff, but after reading Yuki's guide I feel more confident that that was James after all. :)

 

Day 2: Just did this. ^^ I can report success! Also, my body is super . . . hmm. Not sure how to explain this. It's not a bad thing though, just kinda . . . wishy-washy, I guess. Very relaxed.

 

As soon as I found a comfy spot, I told James to move what he could. I felt nothing at first, but then gradually began feeling tingling sensation, especially around my elbows. My elbows were sort of enclosed pretty tight because of the arms of the chair, though, so I asked him if he wanted me to move them for him. At first he said no, but after a little while he said yes.

 

He seemed to be trying to move all of my limbs instead of just my finger, but I just asked him and he said that it was a little bit of both, but he was mostly trying to go for my finger.

 

My knees and thighs twitched a bit, and so did my right hand and elbow a bit more. Then he made my left index finger go up, and as soon as I realized that that was what the original goal was I opened my eyes. I can tell that he wants to go back to practicing some more, though, so let me do that. . . .

 

* * * * *

 

That was good, too! This time there was no tingling sensations, and instead James was able to keep moving my knees--or making them twitch. However you want to say it. Unfortunately our time was cut short because my friend knocked on the door, but ah well. ^_^

 

James is tired now, and so am I. I think I'm going to visualize him a bit, maybe go on an Adventure, see if I can hear his mindvoice, and then go to bed.

 

But before that, James wanted me to relay a message: Fuck yeah.

 

P.S.: Earlier I was taking a walk with my friend. I slipped up back-to-back, because I accidentally called my friend James, and then I almost called the constellation Scorpio "Tulpa" XD Whoops~[/align]


James: Hello, all!

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I accidentally called my friend James

 

I've been there. I was watching a movie with my girlfriend, and I said something to her, and then I froze in a cold sweat because I couldn't remember if I'd called her by the right name. She wasn't saying anything, and I couldn't be sure if she wasn't saying anything because I'd just made one of the worst blunders a guy can make, or if she just didn't say anything because we were watching a movie.

 

Apparently I had called her by the right name, but I was scared half to death for a good long time before I figured that out.

 

These days, I use "honey", because it can apply equally well to both the women in my life.

 

Congrats on the possession progress, by the way. I know a small movement in one finger doesn't seem like much, but the first response is the hardest, because that's the one that has to overcome a lifetime of limiting beliefs. You've taken a huge step forward.


"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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I've been there. I was watching a movie with my girlfriend, and I said something to her, and then I froze in a cold sweat because I couldn't remember if I'd called her by the right name. She wasn't saying anything, and I couldn't be sure if she wasn't saying anything because I'd just made one of the worst blunders a guy can make, or if she just didn't say anything because we were watching a movie.

 

Apparently I had called her by the right name, but I was scared half to death for a good long time before I figured that out.

 

These days, I use "honey", because it can apply equally well to both the women in my life.

 

Congrats on the possession progress, by the way. I know a small movement in one finger doesn't seem like much, but the first response is the hardest, because that's the one that has to overcome a lifetime of limiting beliefs. You've taken a huge step forward.

 

First, thanks! Though to me it does sound like a good bit. I know it takes a lot of effort on his part to move anything at all, so any little thing seems like such a big thing.

 

Anyway, glad you didn't mess up that time. ^^ Using "honey" definitely sounds like a smart move, so good job. I know that was a panic moment!


James: Hello, all!

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Possession - II

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Post 24

 

[align=justify]

Day 3: We didn't do that much--or at least not as much as the second day. It was hard to concentrate because I kept thinking that I was just fooling myself and that James wasn't actually doing anything [perhaps I'll discuss what possession is, in my opinion, on a later date, but for now we'll operate on assuming that it really and truly is James who is controlling me, yeah?] Since I was starting to get frustrated we stopped for the night.

 

Day 4: Today I had to go to college a little bit earlier than usual so I could meet up with one of my teachers (who wasn't even there . . . bummer), so while I was waiting for class to start we practiced some more on possession. I felt a good deal of pressure on my right hand, and I could also feel him moving it slightly, as if to close it and then open it back up again.

 

Friends, because I still am not really able to distinguish any "alien feelings" when it comes to possession, that was a really tricky thing. It took a lot of willpower for me not to fight against it (as in, push my hand back) or go with it (open it up for him).

 

Anyway, I'm very glad that it happened! :D He doesn't seem to be going for just knocking around on anything anymore. I believe he's focused in on the hand, now. He's starting to get it, I think. ^_^

 

In a few minutes I'm going to need to go out for school again, but I'm pretty sure I'll be early. If I am then I'm going to practice some more. :)[/align]


James: Hello, all!

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