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Ana

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  1. I didn't really want to do the wonderland because every time I write something it drags on and on. But this is my wonderland: I put Victor into a chair beside me. And told him what we would include in the wonderland. It would have four corners, in each corner a different season. Spring-a field with small grass hills and many different types of flowers.I put a large amount of sunflowers in the back. Not sure what will be behind them. I wouldn’t really wish for Victor to go back there in fear he might get lost. Summer- a beach, similer to one I went to in alaska for claim digging. Although it isn’t as cold and the waters warm. I basically just used it as a base. On the side closest to Spring was a little stand filled with things. Not sure what exactly is in it but it’s there. On the other side is a house. half of it is on the actual stand a little from the water and the other half is hanging over a cliff just above both the water and the house. The house doesn’t have much detail. Moving on…. Winter-a forest area with thin trees to begin with and as you go deeper they thicken. I included a small house like shack a little near the entrance of the forest/woods. It walls are rounded, like half circle sticking out of a straight wall. Hard to explain. Snow is falling in this area 24-7. And for Fall I decided to leave it just as a blank space because I couldn’t think of something for that space. No house either, since the area is undevoloped. After finishing the seasons, not including fall we made our way to the middle of our wonderland. I made a wide tallish house and a swing set with two swings which is connected to the side of the house. A tree a few feet away from the swing set as to shade the swings and a little bit of the house. I had a few moments when the back of my eye lids began to show and I could no longer see the place. To solve this I just opened my eyes and tried to reconcentrate. ____________________ Day 2 cont. Before I had attempted to go to bed I decided that the best thing for me to do was to knock Victors form down back into the orb. I'd just had to toughen up with what I would be seeing(attempting to see). We didn't work in the wonderland, because I couldn't keep the details and what not from leaving my view so we use a black void. I focused on five traits and pointed the flow of them to the orb. One by one I said what they were and what I knew about them. I did this for about 20 minutes because I can't seem to stay focused for longer than 30 minutes and time just seems to move slow. Today I'll try another session doing the same thing.
  2. Last night I read to Victor for 30 minutes maybe a bit more. The book I read was Jack Frost by: JINHO Ko, a manga I own. I didn’t really notice anything different, and I had to stop because of my throat. But I did feel like I was talking to someone. Not to air, or myself. I was even laughing and commenting about a few things. When I had read the manga earlier. I wasn’t really laughing or commenting, because I like to read and get through books, but I just felt like I needed to explain things like I was reading to someone. Which I do hope I was. This morning I successfully created a wonderland. I'm not going to describe it here, because I'm sure no one wants to read all of the detail. After the creation of the wonderland, I sat Victor on a sofa in the house in the middle of the wonderland so that we could get deeper into the traits and hobbies. Couldn't see any defined part of him. I only finished a few things because I was growing restless. I said bye after putting a movie on for him to watch, it was one thing but switch to the other. Not sure if it was my doing, probably was. I think with more practice I'll be able to sustain the wonderland and Victor. I was having trouble with keeping the scene as I was creating it. So far, time spent. 103 minutes, 1hour .71667 and whatever that is. I don't think I'm getting far.
  3. Day 1 Started today around 4 p.m. my time after awaking from a nap. I plugged in some “Pure Theta Tones” as I heard listening to stuff like this may help. After sitting for nearly five minutes staring at the back of my eyelids with no such luck in the creation of a “Wonderland”. I decided to go ahead and began working on my Tulpa itself. I had already worked on the Traits, things along those lines. Typed them out, and had a pretty good idea as to what we had to work with. Off track..-.- As I began working on Victor, what I’m calling him until he can choose a name of his liking, I imagined him as a medium sized orb. The colors where a large variety of blues. I have a hard time actually looking at the orb and not the black of my eyelids. There was a big box beside him with a large amount of paper. I picked up a piece of paper. Lined, wide ruled paper and looked at it. It said, “Loyal.” I looked at Victor and told him what it said and what I perceived the meaning as. Finishing I took the paper, holding it with both hands and slid it into him. I thought after I had finished how odd it was that I had chose to put it in him like that. I continued this for probably fifteen more traits/attitudes. And began growing impatient. I know when beginning this, you have to be patient. I don’t know what the hell came over me though. I said something to him and made a much large box appear. It was about two feet tall and several wide. Inside was more paper than in the other box with words in black marker, or pen. I thought them to be more ideas pointed towards his personality. I took hold of him and pulled him over the box. He was just floating and non responsive. Not like I was expecting him to object my decision. I took a small step back and watched the scene. It looked as if he fell into the box. I was telling the paper to melt into him…no idea where that came from. It began to, turning a light peach color, or what ever the color of skin is. It was sucked into him, and covered the orb. This whole time I felt this weird vibration surrounding the upper part of my body. It was warm but extremely uncomfortable. I had to take another step back. The melting paper as well as Victor seemed to grow taller and more humanoid. A little less than six feet, maybe a few inches away. He had no hair, private parts, eyes, nose or mouth. I don’t recall seeing any fingers or toes. I was astonished at the site. I stepped closer to him and tried my best to help form his privates and his body. Adding details. Examples: I looked down at his feet first to ensure he had ten toes, he has a rather flat stomach stomach but with a little fat so he wouldn’t look like a skeleton. I added hair to his chest and made nipples. He has purple eyes and thin lips. His ears are slightly pointed at the top. He has black straight shoulder length hair. I counted his fingers made sure he had the amount he was suppose to. I stepped back to admire my work. I couldn’t see his face clearly nor any other part of his body but the color and the silhouette. This was disappointing so I stopped. I turned off the Theta tones and looked at how long I had been working. Only 28 minutes and 45 seconds. To night I'm going to try again, and be more patient. I'll try another approach, but I'll stick with his appearance because it seems I like having something more human to look at.
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