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Archon

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    Norway
  1. I was considering waiting until she was sentient, or at least actually begun forcing, but I quickly reconsidered. A public 'diary' is possibly exactly I what I need to remind me of why I'm doing this, and that I should keep going and not let future Willa and myself down. So here goes. I was first introduced to tulpa's a few months ago, did some basic reading on it, but never really considered making one myself at that point. Two days ago, I picked up on it again and made a decision. I spent around 3-4 hours reading guides and understanding the basics, then making my own system that I think will work well for me. I will go with the dreamland-approach, as I have a dreamland I've developed over a few years that's still very simplistic and easy for me to recall and instantly get in to (basically the classic beach with an unexplored jungle behind it which allows for tons of possibilities). I'm very strong at mentally visualizing and creating personas for daydreaming, I've always had imaginary friends of wildly different personalities, but only pure 100% puppets for my enjoyment. The reason for wanting a tulpa is many, but mainly for me to improve as person with my Willa. Be more confident, have her pushing my limits, have me pushing her limits. However, who knows what we'll up with since I strongly believe any tulpa should be able to evolve without a lot of restrictions. Except I hope she will keep her pony form I will give her. I'd love that. But if not, I will of course respect her choice. So our story begins (and let's hope it continues and doesn't die off like so many others). 10.12.2014 (I'm using European CEN formatting here, deal with it, hehe) Decision is made. I'm going to make a tulpa. I decide on using my old mental playground as dreamland, but eradicating any 'progress' I've done on it earlier, so now it's just a beach with an unexplored jungle behind it. Not sure if I should keep the cabin or not, but for now it's gone. I made a very simple set of personality traits. I my tulpa to be as free as possible, without so vague she'll never become sentient. Friendly - she's comforting and welcoming Intelligent - she's logical and easy to learn Happy - always happy, to a certain degree of course. Everyone has a right to be moody and have a bad day Strong - mentally strong. Attacks a situation head on Fearless - for the most part Mentor - loves to teach and be taught Stubborn - can be a little stubborn. Or very Animal lover - loves all kinds of animals Independent - very Loyal - I feel this is a must anyways. We're in this together. Musical - enjoys music, just listen or create is up to her And not a trait, but something I will always make sure she understands : she has freedom. She will never have to ask my permission to change the traits or make up her own. This is merely the little guide I give her to come to life. I was already dead tired, so any welcoming and initial forcing was out of the question. 11.12.2014 I ditched her original name and went for Willa. I like it and it fits both languages I speak (Norwegian and English). While I mostly think in Norwegian, most communication outside friends and family is English due to internet, so I think it was important for her to get a name she can use in both languages herself. I've created a rough pony model (yes, MLP pony, they're adorable, deal with it) of her in my mind. She's white all over with a simple flat white mane that partially flows down her neck and two small "rivers" of hair on the sides. No more decided for now. I want to it be as simple as possible so we can make it together and also don't get to detailed on a form she might not even want at all. Going to welcome her and feed her the traits this evening. I'll be doing it before going to sleep, planning to spend everything from 0.5-2 hours on the welcoming and explaining her traits and mental chatter to her about why I'm doing this and whatever falls into mind. Guess she might not even remember that, but it'll get repeated anyways. So writing this before our first 'session' since I won't get up from bed when I go into our first day. EDIT : well, I've greeted her and done some forcing. Even though I was mentally exhausted, I showed her around my little dreamland. Or at least, I hope she got some connection to it. I had a hard time keeping her form constantly clear and defined (even though it's an easy temporary form) in the dreamland. I assume she's only experiencing through my own minds eye and not her 'shell' form yet. This was exhausting. But felt extremely clearheaded afterwards (as with most meditation) as well. At least two sessions tomorrow, but I don't think I can go beyond 30 minutes of forcing and talking pr. session. It's too exhausting for now.
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