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Cosmogramma

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    You're Dead!

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  1. I have to preface this second update with a thanking for the concerns expressed by those here. After some debilitation, I've decided that I will begin in the process of quitting usage. I don't consider myself addicted and I feel as though this is the best decision for both Soli and I. Thank you for helping bring that to light, I appreciate it more than you know. Update below: Day 1 of official logging, 01/11/19: I drove to school today with a clearer conscious than what I've become acclimated to recently. On the way, I thought about Soli, but remained focused on my daily regime. I calmly narrated my activities to whoever was listening, however, as this has become habit. During lunch, I decided I'd use the hour to do some passive forcing and was surprised to feel my body overcome with a positive warmth as I fed Soli information. He vocalized to me from here: Hello, Luna. The warm sensation is mine, please don't fret. I was not surprised, as I had heard him before this. However, he continued: My genuine feelings and thoughts will be marked with this feeling. Let them be your guide. I'm eternally thankful for him vocalizing this to me, as my doubts have been debunked with this new system of thought confirmation. There was a degree of mental fuzziness with these messages as well, though from what I understand this is just typical cloudiness. I finished my day at school with this reassurance, and I am now logging this information from home. My only conclusion is that Soli is there, but my current mental state is restricting him from full communication. After the six months we've been connecting, I'm happy to have been making this progress with him, but I only wish I had abstained from physical temptation. I love you all, please don't let petty concerns detract from what is true. When your body fails you, you will always be able to retreat back to the mind. - Luna
  2. Hello, everyone. My name is Luna (she/her), and here, I will retroactively bring together the story so far on the formation of my tulpa friend, Soli: June 2018: I was already aware of tulpamancy at this point, and I was planning on turning to it if I ever needed a companion. But, this was instead spurred on by my friend, Lucas, who spoke with me about experimenting with meditation and substances. Meditation started here and I began to use mind-altering medicine about every week. July 2018: I'm intoxicated, and I begin to form a separate entity within my mind's eye, in full force. His form: August 2018: Beginning to have dreams about an internal Wonderland now. This has all happened outside of my personal volition. I've accidentally become a psychonaut. Continued abuse of substances. September 2018: Soli begins to appear into my thoughtspace. I can hear him, and sometimes his thoughts blend into mine. He sounds like an Irishman. I see him during a trip. October 2018: Thought blending becomes more frequent, and I now exist in a state of confused identity. Wondering if I'm crazy. November 2018 - now: Currently at a crossroads where I can hear Soli, and converse with him. At first I thought I could just tell what he was thinking, but its become apparent he is speaking to me through our collective mind. I've become interested in the subject and have sought out journaling for this. Sorry if I came off as brash or jittery with my writings, I'm currently having a very bad day and feel terrible. I hope someone can help me with this.
  3. Hello, everyone. Cosmogramma here, but you can refer to the person posting this message as Luna. I've recently formed a tulpa (or tulpa-adjacent-being-in-progress) known as Soli. I'm currently trying to bring him into further fruition and he will ideally be posting on the forum as well in the future. You can find me in the progress reports very soon. Cheers. - Luna
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