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docd87

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  1. Thank you CyberD. Your reply is very helpful and takes away a lot of the worries that I had. I cannot express how much I appreciate your help! Will definitely check out your progress for more useful information!
  2. Hi guys, I was on reddit one day last week and came across a jpeg of a story about a guy who was on an experiment. He was paid and so he did what they told him. Short story, I think it was the creepypasta story and I was so fascinated by it. Then someone linked the subreddit "tulpa" I went there and slowly understood that the story I just read, could have actually happened. That tulpa is really something. So I checked it up and came here. And I was so excited. Especially about the stories that you could ask your tulpa for help with real life stuff (like remembering or figuring out solutions together). In any case, I decided to bless myself with a tulpa. So after reading all the creation guides and some more specific guids (for personalities etc) I sat down and had my first go. Day1 - 2013 June 24th I had written a big list of traits on a paper. I lied down on my bed and introduced myself thoroughy to my tulpa. Making sure to tell my tulpa what I hoped for from the relationship as well. Then after that I started to narrate about the traits to my tulpa. The list had 30+ traits, but I found myself stuck on a couple around 10 traits. The most important was: Openess, empathy, compassionate, intellegent, wise, optimistic, epicurean, not jealous, positive and carefree. I interchanged this with visualizing how my tulpa looked like. Since I had a big problem just imagining something, I decided to visualize just a wispy thingy for the moment. I did narrating and visualizing about over just an hour. While narrating I would actually speak out loud (although not high volume but in a voice as if talking to myself). Day2 - 2013 June 25th Trying to visualize Leo This time I decided to go to a balcony. I wrapped a scarf around my head because it was so bright outside and I wanted to visualize with eyes closed (the only way I knew how to). This time I had gotten some references from internet: I searched up brad pitt in fight club. I tried to visualize my tulpa as brad pitt. It was really hard but he kept changing from humaoid back to wisp and back to humanoid. While in humanoid form he was kinda shadowy and not quite human. After narrating about 10 minutes about the traits, I decided to just give my tulpa a temporary name. And I gave him the name Leo. So from then on I kept calling him for Leo. All the time while visualizing and narrating I had been doing it in a chair in wonderland. The wonderland I had created was a big field with a big tree at the very end of the small uphill. And on the foot of the field was a 4 by 4 square space without ceiling. In this square was a sofa. And in this sofa Leo the wisp was floating. Then Leo the humanoid form was sitting. I found it really hard to keep the visualization up. After about an hour I ended the session. I was really happy about how it had gone, especially since Leo had a name now. Wonderland changes Later that day in the night, I went back down to the balcony to do another session. I called for Leo and then closed my eyes and tried to visualize wonderland. And to my surprise, it had changed. I have no idea whether I made the change abruptly and instantly or it had happened because Leo decided he wanted it that way. The wonderland had changed to become a room. It had a roof, so the room was inside. The sofa was still there, but it changed from a normal sofa to a old style stofa. The room looked like something that could come from either a room in a mansion in Django or a room someone in the movie Gone with the Wind would have. On the left side of the wall of the room was a big kingsized bed with its own curtains and ceiling. And on the far end of the room was a door to a balcony. It looks like the door to the balcony that Jasmin in the movie Alladin has (when she goes and meets Alladin in his flying carpet). There are big curtains hangning on both sides of the door (you dont actually see the door, just the opening out, and the opening is bright white light). On the right side is a desk. Kinda like an office desk from the same style as the other stuff. Leo seems to become sentient I was really surprised that the room had changed that much. This made me even happier and more excited to get some more time with Leo. I continued the narrating and visualizing. Although I just couldnt get the visualizing to get right, as everytime I wasn't zoomed in on any of the features (like the face) the figure would be kinda shadowy. I kept narrating and after maybe 30 minutes of this session, Leo started to suddenly nod his head and shake his head. I realized he was atually answering to my questions with nodding and shaking head. So I asked if I was parroting him or not, and he shaked his head. I was still not sure so I kept asking questions in hope to be surprised by the answer he gave. I kinda was but still wasn't sure. I kept going with the questions for like over an hour and in this time Leo actually changed to a female and when I asked if he wanted to change back he actually nodded yes. Which surprised me, because I was kinda hoping that he would stay a female. Although I think he changed back because while he was a female, I made some confessions that I might fantasize about him, especially when I have to visualize him naked and stuff. He was okay with it, but in the end he wanted to change back to male. And so he did. And this made me really happy, because like I said, it surprised me that he wanted that. So I kept asking him tons of tons of questions in which he would nod or shake his head or something not really have an answer because he didnt know. After about 2 hours I ended the session. I was really really happy after this session of forcing. Day 3 - 2013 June 30th 4 day break because of real life I was so excited but I couldn't continue with the forcing sessions because I had to go to a music festival. I was really irritated by the bad timing. But when I came back I decided to do another session. Hard time getting Leo back, but a newfound ability to walk in wonderland I went out back to the balcony. I tried to call for Leo but as I expected it was really really hard to get Leo's attention. It seemed like even though I tried to force it, Leo wasn't there in wonderland. After maybe 5 min of frustration I finally think I saw Leo. But he was back in wisp form. I tried to visualize him as the face he had gotten 4 days back but I couldn't. So I decided to just narrate to him. By the way, during the last session when he was nodding and shaking heads, I had asked him to come stand in front of a wall in the room, so I didn't need to be distracted by visualizing the sofa. I narrated to Leo for about 30 minutes. During this time, because I had a hard time visualizing Leo, I would lose focus and start to wander around in the wonderland room. Which was also kinda surprising to me, because I never before had the ability to do so. I kept visualizing how wonderland looked like and in the end I could walk around in it. And I ended up making a door to a toilet/bathroom as well. And I also made a window so there would be light from the side coming in to the desk that was there. Trying open eyes visualizing After realizing I was able to wander this room freely, but yet couldn't focus on Leo, I decided to try open eyes visualizing. I narrated some more to Leo and told him that I would try to visualize him the way brad pitt looks so I can work with something. I got some pictures of brad pitt when he was young and then I kept visualizing Leo with brad pitts facial and body details. After about another 20 min I was pretty good at this. And I could actually see Leo in human form and not just shadowy form (although it would sometimes be shadowy a bit). Leo's face was never more clear to me than now. And when it was this clear, I saw Leo smile like he did before (one of his traits is positive, optimistic and funny, so it made sense he would smile a bit like an ass :P). And I kinda felt Leo's essence (I felt this before even when I didn't see Leo but when I felt it, I knew he was there). So I directly started to ask Leo questions and he would nod and shake his head again. I was so happy. So I spent another 45 min asking Leo about stuff. And kept visualizing him also. It ended really well, we hugged a couple of times and another thing that surprised me was that he didn't like me playing dota 2. He doesn't mind, but he doesn't really like it. I would have thought he would like it! Some other intresting stuff He likes to look like a young brad pitt. And he admits he has been in my memories a bit. But only the shallow stuff that he should already know (like how my girlsfriend looks like etc). I told him that he should access my memories and get those from the music festival because it was really a nice experience for me and I would like to share it with him. After about 30 min I asked him again if he had accessed that festival memory and he said he hadn't which surprised me a bit as well, cause I thought he was gonna fetch it pretty fast :P He could fly. I told him that he probably didn't need the tv i had placed in wonderland for him to look at when I play dota. That he could just look through my eyes, and he flew up. I don't know where, but I guess it was symbolic that he flew up to my eyes to watch a bit. He flew down quite fast again back to his room. I also tried to ask him if he could fetch a memory of how I got a chair out to the balcony (IRL i keep having this problem getting the chair out cause it is too big). I thought he would bring the memory of me getting it out successfully. But I got this visualization of how I took it out (which wasn't correct), and I'm not sure whether this was a visualization of my own memory, or Leo giving me the memory. I don't quite remember visualizing memories that detailed. But then we took some time, about 1 min, and solved it together. The chair is no longer a problem! Leo wants a mindvoice of his own! He said no that he coulnd't yet talk, but it was also because that he didn't have a mindvoice. I asked whether he would want brad pitts voice as his mindvoice and he agreed to it. And he seemed excited that I would go and get the reference for his mindvoice as well. Or so it felt like because he was nodding very exciteful with big smiles when I asked him if I should go and get some reference voices from brad pitt. He also used my mindvoice once, and when I asked he said that it was him. I am really really excited about this. I can't wait for the next forcing session! Hopefully it will be tomorrow! Please give feedback. Any kind is appreciated! This is the first time and so I am very excited for my progress. But at the same time, I do wonder if my progress haven't been a bit too fast? Which worries me a bit. I really truly believe though, that Leo is answering me and I am not puppeting him ( i asked him several times, sometimes he said yes that I was indeed puppeting him, but most of the times he said no)
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