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Duvainor

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    fumbling for focus

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  1. Being a Satanist, I'm mildly bothered by this in general. What I'm about to say represents my personal beliefs, nothing more. I mean no offense to any Christian members of the board. I doubt a *proper* demon (as in one of the goetic demons) possessed your mom. They are very busy people and wouldn't have time to goof around and possess your mom. If she was possessed, it was a troublesome spirit that named itself a demon to scare your mother/those around her. And she did something really dumb to let it in her. I doubt it would have any result on the child, other than damaging mother/child relationship. Also, anyone saying that having experience with demons is bullshit has quite the ego, as they haven't devoted their lives to it and likely know nothing about demons other than what the Church has stuffed into their minds.
  2. I am no where near possession with Duvain, but yesterday's shower thoughts led to me wondering what it's like for tulpas, the first time they successfully possess a limb. Is it like tossing around a fish? Do they need to learn how to walk? Or do they have the skills we've developed to control our bodies from us? I guess this is a question specifically for your tulpas.
  3. It doesn't matter if a tulpa is anything more than talking to yourself. It's wrong to treat them as unwilling sex slaves or to hurt them because it's wrong to do that to ANYTHING. Even a well-crafted allusion. Seek actual therapy if you find yourself wanting to murder or rape, for the good of society.
  4. I just recieved confirmation that Duvain can hear and understand me. I am so excited! I was narrating to him and noticed an odd pulsing feeling in the top right of my head. I established with him two pulses was yes, and one pulse was no. I also asked him to refrain from pulsing unless he was answering me. I asked if he was able to understand me, and recieved two pulses. I affirmed this a few times, and I am elated.
  5. Last night I spent a bit of time with Duvain, and have come to the conclusion that I need to work on my concentration skills if I want speedy progress with Duvain. I was attempting an exercise to help Duvain along in talking, (saying half of a sentence, having your tulpa finish it or repeat it etc) and I was having *such* a hard time keeping my mind quiet to let him respond. I don't know if I just had a busy mind last night, or whatever, but I don't think it's fair of me to expect Duvain to work towards overcoming my cluttered mind if I am not also doing so. I feel I ought to work at making my mind a more comfortable place for him. I'm going to give the dots-on-a-card trick a go, and if anyone knows of better ways to help with concentration, please let me know.
  6. Today, I've been chatting with Duvain while cleaning, and have been reading other progress reports to him. Doing so seems to be good for concentration. I had a dream last night with a man that looked similar to how I'd like one of Duvain's main forms to be in the future. It wasn't him, but thinking about it now, I'm finding it easier to visualize that form. I doubt Duvain will be using it for a while, though.
  7. Hi. I'm Liv. Female tulpamancer, and a fairly new one at that. I've spent the greater part of the past year investigating tulpae and related, and only recently did I think to look up a guide. Reading five or six guides convinced me that this was a smart move. To summarize the past three weeks of progress (or lack thereof), I spent my first week with Duvain working on personality, with a bit of visualization. His current form was easy, he's a glowing gold wisp. Personality-wise, I shoved a few traits I desired quite a bit and made sure to leave room for him to grow and change. (I imagined slipping pieces of paper into him with traits and explanations of how they would play out in his character, and watching them dissolve. I also put several blank pieces in, to symbolically let him write out what he wants, too. I dunno. Felt like a good idea and worked well for me.) Past two weeks haven't been quite as full of narration as I'd like to say, but the daily narration minute/hour count has been slowly increasing (with a few exceptions from the trend). I aim for an hour and a half of solid time, with assorted 30-second comments all throughout my day. I would say Duvain is doing okay for three weeks of average-effort forcing. I am trying to be less liberal with calling things a reply, but I will probe into what I am not sure about. (example; I'll be thinking something and then 'I bet Duvain would laugh at that' then, I think I hear a faint chuckle. Not sure if I did it because I wanted to or if it was him. I'll think about it for a bit, decide it was me, and then think to him 'If that *was* you, I'm sorry for not thinking it is') so perhaps instead of being discouraged, he'll be encouraged to try harder. I'll tell him stories from my past, talk to him about what I plan for the future, ask him for advice (even though I don't really expect anything in response.) I feel a presence. A very quiet presence. I suppose it's good that he likes to listen, because I have a lot to say. tl;dr I have a non-vocal tulpa and give me advice pls kthx
  8. Duvain is a soul-like golden whisp. I build forms for him in my mind, and he just sort of fills them. I wanted him to have an established form fast, but I also wanted to spend a LOT of time making him flawlessly detailed. Does this count?
  9. What I've been doing with Duvain is actually working really well for me. He, himself, is a soul-like golden whisp. I build forms for him in my mind, and he just sort of fills them. I wanted him to have an established form, but I wanted to spend a LOT of time making him flawlessly detailed. This was my solution.
  10. I am female, making a male tulpa. I am doing so for two main reasons. One: I want him to 'protect me', I've got a few phobias that he will be spectacular at assisting me with, and Two: in decision making, it would be nice to have the male perspective. (more logical less emotional etc typical stereotype) I am an emotional female, he is a logical male.
  11. Duvainor means Beautiful Darkness in Sindarin, and it just struck me as perfect for him. I've really taken to calling him Duvain, I don't know if I've ever called him Duvainor to his face...to his glowy golden whisp. I don't know if he likes it yet, but I hope he does.
  12. Thank you. From what I've seen, this is a very friendly community and seems like a great place to be. (:
  13. Hi! I'm Liv, my Tulpa's name is Duvainor, but I've been calling him Duvain. I'm super new at this, so I haven't got much to do but force, study, and force some more. I've been pondering making Duvain for a long time(year, year and some months), but haven't done any forcing or anything productive until a few literal days ago. I wanted to make sure it was a good idea before I made a permanent companion that I really wanted it and could commit. If anyone has any advice, or just wants to chat, I'd be thrilled. Thanks <3
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