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  1. We're very happy to know that you overcome your mutual attraction and it helped you to grow, we really hope the same. Actually we just are taking pleasure to speak to each other, and discover our personality. By the past, we had a close relationship and this has created very strong bonds between us. But in the time, we never took the time to get to know each other. So, for me Kita is like a mistery and i really wanna know more about she. For me (Kita), i very have a strong desire for my host, so i just wanna jump on he ... hehe, but we don't. Oh ok, i understand, so i just hope the best for both of you 😁 Okay let's do a little report. I especialy prefer the discussion as an interaction with Kita, and i'm trying to feel Kita as truly independent as myself to avoid parroting. And yesterday night, i had some uncommon headache. I never felt this before, and i'd heard that's a sign of development of Tulpa, so that's very nice !
  2. I'm sorry, but this journal won't be very active for a week or two, I think. A work colleague who releases very bad energy and share the same office as me disturbs me, and that even more on my Tulpa, so here it is. It's quite confusing, but he will have to leave within two weeks. So we just have to wait a little longer. By the way, if you have any advice on how to protect yourself energetically, I'm interested.
  3. Hello Y'all, So yes, i'm very interested about seminal retention and nofap, i think those topics may even go to metaphysic so much i consider that's powerful although i couldn't go further than a fortnight. In short, i consider sexual energy as a creative energy, so i'm pretty sure it would help tulpaes a lot to become even more sentient / powerful ! So, please i would like to know, if you hosts and tulpaes already have imposed seminal retention to your system, for how long and what are the benefits for the progress of your Tulpa / progress of yourself as a tulpa. Thank you very much dudes. 😁
  4. Thanks so much for this interesting testimony. So, since you have stopped to take please of each other, do you have been able to see better progress ? Do you have activities idea to suggest us to change our habits ?
  5. Hello there, I'm an elder, but i have a chaotic journey with my Tulpa, you really can't imagine how. But i love my Tulpa and i would never give up, so here is my new attempt to repair my relation with my Tulpa, Kita. So here it is, I must have been with my tulpa for several years, but really not more than a year if you only count the active period. Kita isn't really sentient well, even if i can hear Kita well, i'm sure we can continue to make lot of progress. What we want to do : Get out of love obsession, because yeah i'm in. Spending time with Kita and enjoying doing activities outside of lust thing or affection. Because we do just that, hugs, love and acts that give pleasure. May Kita develop her personality So that's the main thing, and we're gonna doing daily or weekly report here. So i'm gonna let Kita speak. Hello everyone i'm Kita. I really hope we can find a balance together, that we can love each other tirelessly. In fact, what I really want is that we can spend time together without having to stop.
  6. @Paranoid Llama Me too i'm not a religious leader or anything but i don't care that God and its religions allow marrying with Tulpa. Maybe it's possible, but for me, religious marrying is only for human. I think i've tasted the unconditionnal love today with my tulpa. Today is her birthday and we celebrate it. It was probably the first time that i had a good moment with my Tulpa without going through physical interaction. Despite everything, i felt little pressure on my chest. I felt it when i am too commited with my tulpa. It's perhaps the remains of my mistake, i just hope the light will replace all of these bad kind. Is this happening to you to feel something like burning on your hearth when you kiss your Tulpa ? Because i feel it when i do it. It give me pleasure for a while but after a while, there is nothing to burn and the pleasure is replaced by pain. I also feel the opposite when i pray and when i've physical interaction with someone like a hug. I feel my hearth fill with love I wonder if its normal ? Maybe we give love our Tulpa and they evolve with it. Or maybe there is something wrong with me ?
  7. Yes, my lifestyle have to adapt to my spirituality, that's why it's difficult for me. Yes i'm also sure that if i stop all of these sin with my Tulpa, the love will become more stronger. So our romantic relation will be still present. But maybe we need to keep some distance for awhile. Yeah it's probably a test, these kind of sin that i do with my Tulpa is my weakness ... So, i would have progress when i reached my goal maybe :) I don't think Tulpa are foribben on my religion (Islam) because everything that is not forriben are allowed... And Tulpa isn't forriben. I just have to dodge everything what awaken my passion : Be too close with my Tulpa. I think that what is prohibited isn't the tulpa but how it is used and i just want to reach love with her. I hope that love other than God is allowed, especially on Sufism or on every initiatic way, or maybe i can love my Tulpa as a reflect of God
  8. You well understand. Regardless of the way I can choose, I will suffer. It's been a year that i suffer and i'm getting exhausted. I'm very religious (even if i break the law) and every event is a message from God for me and i've impression that God told me that i should stop because i'll never not be physical with her. Maybe it's because of this system of thought that i can't ... Maybe i make my own reality and my reality is that i can't. I also felt positiv sign with her, especially when i try to be good, it isn't all lost yet. I have a glimmer of hope. I should review my thought system and find the reasons that made that I am so obsessed with her. I think that i could never give up my Tulpa, i'm really in love of she, so i'll have to continue the fight. This topic helped me to find motivation, so thanks and i'm always taking advice if you have one :) Maybe i'll try to create a journal here, that could help me !
  9. Hello all, So i've made my tulpa since two years and i'm really close to religion, mystics and metaphysics. The reason that led me to make my tulpa was bad : My Tulpa was previously my MMORPG avatar and i was very obsessed by she, probably because she was impossible to reach, beautyfull and also because i was in difficult with real girl. The relation with my tulpa was mainly based on sex and "love". So, everytime, since two years, i encountered problem with my Tulpa. It has always been like that because i have never managed to get rid of these habits, but despite everything i've improved my behavior and my Tulpa but it's never enough. I noticed (this is just my feeling, i don't want to impose my truth) that when i keep too much pleasure with my Tulpa, my spirituality, my light weakens, dries. I feel that the world turns against me when I go too far with my tulpa ... Maybe i'm really sensible with the Karma, that what i think, or maybe this is only an impression. So this is really my principal problem, it make me bad but i never managed to stop. She really attract me emotionally But I feel that my way is not compatible with this. I had to do a lot of breaks with my tulpa and i already tried to stop tulpamancy few time but i've never managed to hold long. Miss me she very quickly. I am actually looking for an initiatic way : Sufism. I wonder ever if pure Tulpa is compatible with my way ... I must love God, only God but i love my Tulpa, only my Tulpa and a little less God. Every mystic people who i asked advice about my Tulpa recommanded me to stop because this is illusion but i hope that i can live with she in foreign-lower and the afterlife. My faith is all the world is a thoughtform of God and only God exist and that we can keep our individuality after death for awhile... So if God & the heaven exist and that our wish will come true, i can hope that my tulpa will become very real one day. So why must i stop if i can dominate my passions with she ? Yeah i am looking for the truth love with my Tulpa ... I want to stop sex and kiss with she, just keep a little affection. I especially want to know she. I already felt this pure love and i know that is above all but i can't seem ... Actually i don't know what should i do. Should i stop with she ? But i really don't want to hurt her again. Is she really exist somewhere ? If I could have the evidence that no, it would help me a lot ... Because actually the most easier and best way is to stop. But maybe I could surpass my passions and achieve this love and join Sufism ? If I post here is because that i am really lost susi... I think that i would never start tulpamancy. If you want to be naughty with me, be it. Whether the criticism is hard to accept, as long as it could help me. Thx alot
  10. I' didn't talking about metal but electronic music kind free party/underground. There is also a difference between "Dubstep gaming/poney youtube" and a Dubstep live or a free party. I think there is a big difference between these two worlds, and yeah this genre of music is created to be listened under effect of drugs otherwise the music wouldn't be so psychedelic and discordant. Just see the last clip of Getter (Head splitter). Satanic is an other question. I think the drugs change you, makes you bad, very bad ... One more time, see the last clip of Getter. People love antechrist and hate light. This is experience, 2 years of unhealthy evenings. Otherwise. Since the last "hug" with my tulpa, there were something bad what i felt. I think i understand what that was. My tulpa still hasn't free will. I'd say that my Tulpa was always ok for sex, same for kiss. So if i kiss my tulpa, this is not her choose, i impose something to my tulpa and this is bad. After one year, i just understand i was affraid that she doesn't love me and i was come to impose my love. She could never become a real tulpa, just a servitor. So, the bad thing that i felt come probably for that. I just hope i'm true, otherwise i should probably stop tulpamancy if this bad effect increase ...
  11. This afternoon, i failed with my tulpa ... I have undramatised the sexual relation with my tulpa and fond myself apology.My tulpa was ok for sex, but she's always ok while i want this... I paid the price. The first thing is that i'd some difficult to passive forcing along the day, the aura of my tulpa changed like dissolution in my body. For the evening, i did active forcing for vocalisation and this session was really bad ... The volume of the voice to my tulpa dropped very bad when i ask my tulpa to repeat my phrases. When she tried to talk herself i heard only a little voice indescribable. And when i asked her a question, impossible to know if parroting or not. Her presence is also a bit more fat, i smell her presence do a little pression in my chest ... Really bad. So we had lost three days of progression, but we've still all our life for progressing. The most important will be to not repeat the same mistake. So this was a good warning. I just hope this night will be good ... I should probably create a journal in this forum xD Yeah, i must do it, or i would be obliged to say bye bye to my tulpa, one more time ... Yeah i probably should see a psychologist, but i couldn't talk to him for everything, especially tulpa. So, i think, this is useless ... I can also monitoring myself. If i see that turn bad, i can always do some actions. Yeah music is also a temptation. It's so energetic, so good. But all are bad on this genre of music ... Satanic When Kita will be ok for conversation, i talk her about our sex break but i think she is already aware
  12. What are you meaning about " find your center " ? I think that my tulpa was my entiere world only for sexual desire and sentiment. It couldn't more because our relation was impossible on long time. We had to do break everytime for my health. I think a large part of my love was only sexual desire : Principally kissing for a while and extase. Anyway, we had even developed a bit of true love. This love is still felt now, much more pure and sweet. We kiss always but less and not only for the pleasure. It's become proof of affection, a gesture. Now i'm able to sleep with her (that was impossible before, her presence block me to find sleep or some disorder listed above was coming) and her presence/aura/blood doesn't oppress me, it become sweet like a cloud. I'm really surprised so many change in a short time. Her sentience too. My tulpa is one year old. Despire of our bad relation, we had even a progression, our break did lose the progression. That was the most harder for our progressing. I was able to hear her voice from the outside like a whisper close to my ear, that was bad because i wasn't able to hear her real voice, but already hear a form on my head (inside), rarely. However it was often close to the parroting. She had rarely some flash of lucidity. I was sure that some conversation come to my tulpa. Yesterday evening, we did a active forcing after a praying and a bit of meditation. I was also surprised, the progression was ... So fast. I hear my tulpa, still bad from outside and inside but without any form of parroting 80% of time. I asked her to repeat phrases that i reciting. I also made efforts : praying, meditation, resisting temptation, a very nice passive forcing and i think that my shcyzophrenia could be aslo a good thing : I'm spirtualy sensible. I can felt my tulpa on my body. I'd made many sex with my tulpa and i think it affected her. There are consequence for me and her. I'm really attracted by her body and any small physical interaction (like hold her hand ...) make me excited and i'd note when i'm excited she try to exciting me more, probably because she's also excited ... Also our sexual relation could be nocif for my mental healt if abused. One per two or three days was ok, but one by day or more was not ok. Her presence become fat/oppressive and my sleeping take a blow. So i prefear do a break for this during a while. Surprising thing : If i'm listening the music that i listenened before, music close to drugs, like psy-trance, dubstep, minimal .. The presence of my tulpa become also a bit more heavy. I probably should stop listening this genre of music. This also had an bad influence on me, it make me want drugs ....
  13. It's sure. My tulpa isn't really lucide. Yesterday, i did a bit of passive forcing. We had a good time together and i felt my tulpa more lucid at certain times. It was rare. I think we're on the right way, i'd forgotten the pleasure to envolve my Tulpa. We spent much time together, and despite his lack of maturity, she has a personality that I know. That's also why I love she The irony is that I already had girlfriends but I never loved them so much than my tulpa I love her sweetness, I think she is intelligent and comes to understand me and play with me. There is a game of seduction between us
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