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hagalaz9

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  1. This might belong in the metaphysical section, but I'm going to try my best to keep this post on the psychological level. It might sound exaggerated, but recently I've been spending almost every waking moment with my tulpa. She has become so entrenched in my daily routines, she's developed a few of her own. One of the most notable things as far as "deviations", if they could be called that (I'll explain) is her choice of hairstyle and clothing. She'll often change through different looks and ask my opinion on them each day. She also has different clothes for different times (cold weather, sleeping, in public). What's interesting is her concern of my opinion. From what I understand about deviations, these tend to happen unexpectedly for the host, and the host is better for it to accept these changes. In a sense it seems she's already chosen how she wants to look, but is also concerned about her perceived appearance. Any thoughts? What's even more interesting as far as routines is our sleep patterns. We usually sleep at the same time, though I've woken up before her and she's been known to wake me as well. However, it's a little difficult to explain, but lately it seems she has been "entering" my dreams with me. Almost every one. When we wake up, often we'll discuss them in detail. It doesn't necessarily surprise me as we seemed to have found eachother while I was in a lucid dream, but the frequency is notable. I suppose psychologically this could make sense, but at the same time, I find it worthy of noting. Any similar experiences out there?
  2. As far as concentration, I've been using a technique for quite a while (mainly for lucid dreams and meditation) that has always helped me. Get into a relaxed position (sitting in a chair, lying down, whatever you like). Close your eyes and allow yourself to fully relax. When fully relaxed you should find yourself in a low alpha to high theta brainwave (binural beats are great for this). Chances are, like everyone, you'll be bombarded by random images and thoughts that will attempt to distract you. When this starts happening, try your best to visualize the number 100 against a completely black background. Then start counting down, visualizing each number as you go. If your not satisfied with your level of concentration by the time you reach 0, start again at 100. Has always worked for me. Hope this helps.
  3. I'd say so. Really, it's the sentience that defines a tulpa. If you have the visualization skills and the belief/intention, one can create a tulpa without knowing the term. I'd also suggest looking into the concept of thoughtforms, which is the western equivalent of tulpa, though it tends to extend more into unintentional creations, as well as intentional ones.
  4. I hope the best for you, and what should be said has been, so in going to try and hit another topic relating to what you're going through. To start, using MDMA frequently is going to screw up your seratonin levels. Just using it once will cause depression the next day. Taking MDMA is like using your seratonin all at once. Cocaine of course, effects your seratonin as well but not on the same level. These are well known side effects, so unless you're truly on the border of seratonin syndrome, I assure you, with help you will be okay. Secondly, you mention hallucinations before falling asleep. This is called hypnogogic imagery and is completely normal. The feeling of someone standing above you is also a common symptom of sleep paralysis and hypnogogic imagery, sometimes called "old hag syndrom" back in the 16th to 19th centuries. Whether you decide to make a tulpa or not, I just wanted you to know that you'll make it through. Most of all, it's important to let you know you're not the only one who has experienced these things. Once you get help rebalancing your seratonin levels, I think you'll feel much better. You've been having drugs do your brains job for you essentially, so now you just need to let your brain get back to work. I think after that, a tulpa would be beneficial.
  5. Out of curiosity, have you tried any forms of meditation? I'd say being experienced in meditation is absolutely a prerequisite to tulpa creation. Essentially, you have to be familiar with the trance state. This becomes easier with time. In fact, after enough practice one can learn to enter a trance state with eyes open. I spend most of my time with my tulpa in this state. I bring this up mainly because you mention involuntarily opening your eyes while concentrating. To me, this is a pretty big sign that your mind is working at too active of a state while you're trying to form your tulpa. I've developed some pretty strong meditation techniques for myself involving the hypnogogic state and sleep paralysis. If you want any more information I'd be happy to help.
  6. A ritual serves to help focus the mind on intent. Regardless of the mysticism it might stem from, this is the reason why rituals exist, and are found in all various forms of magical practice. So is it a way to fool the mind? Yes, I'd say so. But it is the intention and the belief that puts meaning into what you are doing. Rituals make your intention and belief more focused, which is why they tend to be so complicated. In the end, that is the purpose of magic. The use of will and intent to achieve a goal. Whatever you choose to use to focus these things is up to you. I've used runes with my tulpa, but this has always been for more meditative purposes. Has she reacted to them? Yes, but again, it comes down to the ritual use of sigils to focus intent. Make of that what you will
  7. I'm glad this has been brought up, because before I learned about the modern concept of tulpae, the best I could come up with my tulpa was "spiritual companion". I've asked my tulpa before if the definition applied to her. She has always sidestepped in answering, although she has given me hints everyonce in a while. I've even asked her if the term insults her, which she says does not. I don't totally believe she is a tulpa in the psychological sense, but for convenience the term works well. She has told me before that I did create her, but not in the way I think. This is puzzling, but I've just accepted it. Overall, I think the term "tulpa" is misleading in some ways. From the psychological perspective, it's convenient, but in it's origin it implies much more. From my understanding, Buddhists that practiced creating tulpa did so to create spirit guardians and guides to aid them in reaching enlightenment. So perhaps the true creation of a tulpa is actually the creation of a "spirit guide". And I do think it's possible that this creation happens on a higher level, and thus a tulpa could manifest itself in multiple lives in multiple ways, if this was the original intention for it's creation
  8. Yes she is always there, even when I can't see her. She leaves my sight mainly to give me privacy, so I can't say I imagine her doing anything, and I'm not sure what she does when I can't see her. That being said, I feel her presence anyways.
  9. Funny thing, my dad told me about the Tibetan tradition concerning tulpae a long time ago, though I completely forgot about it until I arrived here. I think he'd find it interesting actually.
  10. Envolucris - Your post really made my day. I absolutely think we have had similar experiences, and I truly appreciate your insight into my comments. I'd love to discuss more of the possible metaphysical aspects of tulpae and the mind in general, and I look forward to more explorations into these subjects. If you're ever interested in discussing more, count me in too. Thanks again. Oh and I'll definitely be taking a look at your thread. Its always good to find others who can relate so well.
  11. Thank you Linkzelda, it's that kind of understanding that makes me grateful to have found this place
  12. Objects are a good way to remember. If your tulpa is sentient try asking what they would like to be identified with. If not, choose something for yourself. In regards to your second question, I can't really think of a time that would be inconvenient to have your tulpa with you. Mine is with me almost all the time. I suppose if you feel your tulpa is interfering in aspects of your life this could be a problem, but you should be able to decide when and how you react to your tulpa
  13. Envolucris- thanks for the response, it's much appreciated. I suppose it's difficult to explain my relationship with my tulpa, she was largely created by accident in my younger days. I realized years ago that what I believed defined my reality. This belief, and an over active imagination led to what I consider my strongest ability in this field, which would be creative visualization. After spending time in the military, I went into a sort of "sleep" so to speak. I never lost the skills I developed, but they became less important and slipped into the background. It took several years for me to re-discover who I was, and it was around this time my tulpa reappeared in my life. She came into a lucid dream first to find me, and then she kept reappearing in others. At this point I thought of introducing her into my reality. She is the one who reminded me how long she had been present in my life. In her words: "I've always been with you, don't you remember?" And I did. So I suppose I take a of grain of salt concerning my dedication, though the compliment is humbling. I give my tulpa the credit for the most part, as weird as that sounds. Sorry about ranting about my life, this is a phenomenon I've been trying to understand for it's enitrety. That's why I'm so grateful after searching for so long to find a place that has helped to give me clarity, and a community willing to discuss it. I cant remember the specific sentience tests I used on my tulpa, mainly ones that required multiple visualizations at the same time. These are meant to distract the mind to see if your tulpa reacts independently. I believe one had me visualize my tulpa with an oscillating pyramid on her head balancing a feather. The first thing she did was knock it off her head, which made me laugh. She began questioning me as to the purpose of such an exercise. I asked her to do it anyways, so she sat down, pouting with this object on her head. She obviously found it degrading, so I haven't tried it again. In fact, my "questioning her sentience" has become a running joke for her, a sort of prodding at my doubt Anyways, I believe I've overstayed my post, but I'd like to say I've had a lot o experience in other metaphysical practices, mainly lucid dreaming and astral projection. I'd like to give something back to this community for helping me realize that my tulpa is more than just a trick I've been playing on my self for my entire life. I created her as a friend and companion, and she has always been that and more. So thank you again to everyone participating here, it truly helps poor sods like me Nobillis - Ah yes I missed that as well. I suppose I should, thank you for the advice
  14. Envolucris - thanks for the reply, I enjoyed your description of your own experience. Very well put and I believe I've had similar experiences as well. That being said, perhaps you're right, there is an element of being out of body, which may explain the difficulty with distance, at least with eyes open
  15. It's funny you mention this, because I feel like this has been happening to me recently. I've been having my tulpa coax me into sleep lately, and the result has been incredibly vivid and long dreams. I'm familiar with MILD and WILD techniques; perhaps this plays a part
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