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HarpyCabaret

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  1. I don't really suspect I'm letting many people down by my failure to get my last post in on time, but, if not on the small chance I have, then at least on principle; I'm sorry. I know I'm bad at keeping things together a lot of the time. One if my biggest flaws. Anyways, a pleasant development is that my tulpa's identity, form and name she seems to be comfy with, are fluctuating a bit. She might be fond of being called by Marigold, it seems, and the colors are fluctuating to white a lot. Personality shifts somewhat naturally with form, but there is a kind of balance she's settling into where it's not as drastic. Hours last week: 3 Passive forcing: Good attendance compared to old habits. Not sure how much it makes up for lack of active forcing, though. Hours this week: 4 Passive: Not quite as often as last week. So: Not happy with where I'm at, but on a slope of improvement.
  2. So I've been missing days again, and I don't know what to think. This keeps repeating itself, doesn't it? I can't think of a more appropriate course of action than "work harder" or "give up", and the former seems to be more recommended than the latter, from what. I can tell. Progress is... strange. There will be some days where her presence is much stronger and more positive, and some days where it's completely blank. To try and add some extra push, I'll be logging my hours at the end of every week with my progress reports, which anyone who happens to check on this will see Sunday.
  3. Last week went alright as far as forcing, but progress wasn't significant. Still feel like I should report in since it's been a while and if I just let this report die it's not going to do very much for the motivation I was hoping for. It's getting a bit tough to feel her presence as well. We've still been working at visualization so far, but I feel like working at personality would be more helpful to establishing that sense of presence. I've got the motivation to force, at least, but procrastinating makes it so my tiredness detracts from my productivity. My focus now is forcing earlier, and working harder to finish up those personality descrptions.
  4. Thank you very much for the response, Night! I think I'm going to use a similar method for personality, in that case. I've decided to get the entirety of the personality list planned out first before I go in-depth with it, given how the traits interact with each other so much. I might up the time on my forcing, or at least make an effort to put more time into passive forcing each day, to compensate for the times my mind wanders now and then. I might do a little bit of both here and there each session, or combine the two now and then, with certain parts of her body, or articles of clothing/accessories she likes corresponding to her personality in some way. EDIT Original version was way too long, so I summarized it with here. We did mostly visualization, basically zooming in on her body and adding the details of texture and the shades and colors of her fur, which seemed to deviate, or at least changed (I hesitate to assume it was her) quite a bit, along with the shape of her body. How she'd look under different lightings and everything. We did a little bit of personality, how she'd react to her surroundings in different environments I imagined in the wonderland, and now I plan to get another hour in later on in addition to some passive forcing to make up for falling asleep at one point. The only affect of that I noticed, aside from my own paranoia, was her presence being a little harder to sense for a while.
  5. So I guess I should get this right out of the way, before I go into detail on anything else: I have been a TERRIBLE host lately. Not to say I've been malicious (I can't see myself ever doing that), I've just been neglectful. The first time I started working on her was back in July, and at that time I really hadn't done what I'd have called enough research, maybe about a month at best, more like two weeks if I recall. Anyways, I got in good forcing for maybe... several days at best, then my schedule started falling apart, and everything was flaky for a couple of weeks until I pretty much stopped all together. Months later, I began again, determined to keep up with it this time. I was doing great at first, much better than last time, at the least, but once again, my attentiveness started faltering a lot, and once I started going for weeks at a time, I brought myself here, and here I am, starting a progress report to help keep myself on the path of giving her the attention she deserves. Scold me however you think is necessary for my failures there, anyways. For whatever it's worth, I haven't given up, and have no intention to do so, especially not with the lingering possibility that I'd be sentencing a sentient being to death by doing so. TL;DR I've been really flaky with my forcing and this is my way of helping myself stay on track. If you hadn't guessed yet, based on either being familiar with the show or simply seeing the name about, this one is the gist of the basis for Vinyl's form Of course, as anticipated, she's deviating slightly here and there, so that's good. Color, species, minor anatomy stuff, anthropomorphism/clothing, and gender/sex (I may be altering pronouns accordingly. With that said, it shouldn't be an issue until we're able to proxy to communicate with others). It seems to always come back to something pretty close to the character from the show, though I'm not sure if it's because it's mostly how I recognize her now, and when I want to force that's what comes to mind, or if it's because she genuinely enjoys it. I suppose the answers will come in time, though. Anyways, we did basic form stuff, just to have something to focus on, but our main goal for the moment is personality. My method of personality forcing has been very vague and involved myself just letting thoughts flow as I described a trait, but after I realized I couldn't get in much forcing with just what came to mind for personality without getting mental blocks and constantly repeating myself, and my thoughts would always get vague and hard to distinguish without structure or something for me to remember, we're now using the list method. We do have a wonderland, but it varies. I'll keep it basic: It's either a grassland, in a forest or mountain-y area sometimes, with a creek and a couple trees and stumps, or an astral/spiritual-looking fantasy-type grassland, the grass being purplish pastel and transparent and 'sparkly' (those might be stars). Each day, I plan to be typing up a couple descriptions for a couple of the traits, and I'll either read them to her or recite them from what I can remember and come up with on the spot, maybe taking breaks to narrate to her or enjoy sitting with her quietly in the wonderland. I'll eventually be moving on to more focused visualization once I feel comfortable with the time we've spent on personality. That's my plan for now, anyways. Very subject to change, of course. I also plan to do passive forcing here and there throughout the day. About an hour of active forcing minimum is the goal. I don't know if I want to do a full hour in one sitting or get so many minutes in separately yet. Questions Would reading the personality traits off to her count as active forcing, or does it have to 100% sitting down quietly and focusing on her? Should I, instead, relay whatever I write down off memory of try to get better at coming up with stuff on the spot? Is the amount of time I'm planning for us to be spending together each day adequate? Personality and visualization: Should I get each out of the way one at a time, or is it acceptable to move on somewhere and return to one if I feel the need later on? Thank you for reading. I welcome and appreciate any suggestions, whether they have anything to do with my questions far or not. I'll have my first report in by the end of the day, with some more details on her appearance and the personality traits, and will be thinking of possibly setting a schedule for forcing as well later on.
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