Jump to content

idealistProxy

Members
  • Posts

    6
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  1. Hi everybody! Proxy and I joined a bit ago and we're trying to socialize a bit more around the forums instead of just being in our own PR. How's everyone doing?
  2. This is proxy speaking, the color I was using was extremely painful to the eyes so I've removed it. Noted. I do not know idealist's friends well and I do not feel I can relate very much to them; often that makes watching what he's doing very uninteresting to me. Perhaps he needs to remember to passively force more and then get us into some less-routine situations. Imposition isn't a goal of ours', but I do appreciate you providing an example of how C keeps himself entertained. Today I altered the headspace while I was bored, and tried a few different outfits. Right now I'm wearing a rather ugly tweed suit, which I like quite a lot on account of it matching the chair I made for myself, but would rather not be seen wearing. As far as interests and hobbies go, yes, that's very important. Personal goal setting is a good idea that I hadn't thought of. Speaking of my modifications to the headspace, those definitely should have gone in the main post, which just updated.
  3. For no reason except my own weirdness, I'm starting week two several days after it actually began so that it rolls over on Mondays instead of Fridays. I'm also uploading today's entries without finishing the backlog so that I don't end up with even more things in need of transcribing. Also, I'd be willing to upload scans of my actual journal, if any of you would be interested in seeing my handwritten, unedited tulpa log in it's ugly-cursive glory. I don't want to just upload them unprompted and assume anyone wants to see that, though, lol. Sorry for the double post, it's for organization. Anyways, onward to calendar week two which has skipped like two days.
  4. Yeah, it's gone now, strange as I may feel about the entire ordeal. It left me more than a bit shaken, though I know I shouldn't let it bother me. Fully agreed; Proxy assembled his own list of personality traits that he'd like to have (has? sort of in the same way that self-help books will suggest you to list traits you aspire towards.) and after that we pretty much stopped personality forcing. I think his personality is probably up to him at this point, and my role with that is to provide him with opportunities to gain experience. Misha, it's interesting to me that you never had to really be told what was wanted of your personality. I suppose I was inclined towards listing and forcing personality traits because it gave my brain a more solid idea of Proxy to focus on. My own personality tends to be fluid and inconsistent in a way that I find frustrating; making a list of traits may have been me trying to push back against that and perhaps going a bit far with it. Thank you both for your insights. I'll get this thread up to present day in my journal as soon as I'm not so swamped with schoolwork. Sorry if I come off defensively.
  5. Hey there, and thanks for clicking onto my thread. Call me idealist (you don't have to make the first letter lowercase, but I will be, for, you know, flair.) and on here I'll refer to my tulpa as Proxy. I'm using pseudonyms in the interest of keeping us separate from some friends who I'd rather not tell about this endeavor until we're further along with it, and separating some aspects of my identity and belief system from this site. Our names are fairly recognizable. Anyways, this thread is likely going to be a transcription of the physical diary I keep daily, with a tl;dr pointing out important information at the end of each day. These are pretty closely transcribed, and my unedited thought can be a bit confusing and word salad-y, so pardon that. I have a lot of metaphysical beliefs that tie into our practice here, and I'll do my best to keep those separate from the rest of what I write so that some value can be found by people who aren't into that aspect of things. Metaphysical shit is placed under a spoiler, for now. I intend to make a new post for each week of progress and update the post each day of that week so that it can easily be searched through; who knows if that's what's going to happen, but it's my goal. Proxy is a tulpa I've had the concept of in my head since 2016. WEEK 1
  6. Has anyone here ever created a toxic, somewhat parasitic thoughtform, by accident? I've spent weeks fixated on the behavior, motives, traits, etc of an ex, and yesterday my tulpa took on some of those behaviors- seemingly out of nowhere. Once I worked out the source of those behaviors I used a visual metaphor to 'separate' my tulpa from them (Something resembling when Dio's mind control nub was taken out of Kakyoin's forehead, if you were wondering what that was like). The thoughtform that came out when I separated them still has something of a presence; it looks sort of like a fleshy worm. I just don't know what to do about it; getting rid of it feels like murder, I'm afraid of strengthening it by continuing to think about my ex, and I really would rather not have a speaking introject of this person. I don't think the form is sentient, but I think my doubt surrounding that and fears that maybe it could be, could possibly contribute to it becoming sentient. Basically, I don't know how to approach this whatsoever. It's in 'stasis' in a headspace-jar right now.
×
×
  • Create New...