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Meti

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    Clusterfuck

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  1. Welp, CT seems to have killed himself. Apparently the stress from existing and such really got to him, especially because it just seemed to be getting worse and worse, with attempts to help also only making it worse. First he tried hurting me in every possible way in order to get Doc to retaliate, but after like a week of that failing, he finally got the courage to just. . . stop. Took him a day or two, but we haven't heard anything from him in a while now. We could have made him not do that, but we're not cruel bastards who would make someone live through that torment when we could be merciful instead. Seems that whole murder anger thing he had been doing was the only thing keeping himself together, but was also the source of the damage. Kinda like a major addiction, and he was suffering withdrawal. If you're wondering why I have such a candid attitude about this, it's because it hasn't hit me yet. I do not look forwards to when it does. Probably when I go to bed. That's gonna be fun. Thrum has almost no interest in possessing, only wanting to do it in order to learn how to play instruments. Despite this, he seems to have almost no trouble doing it. Seems I have a fear of almost-faces. If there's something that might be a face, I want none of that. Doc has been having those weird psychotic breaks more often. I think they're to relieve stress. He's been slipping in and out of one all day today and yesterday. I seem to be more aware of our surroundings when out and about, so much so that a simple ten minute walk in silence seems absolutely excruciating. On the inverse side, I can often zone out for up to half an hour and nobody knows what happened. The mindscape as a whole feels different now. Less tense, like before now there was a tension in the air and ground that I never noticed until it was gone. Much calmer now, seems less angry as a whole.
  2. Fuck you I do what I want.
  3. I killed mine because he was a filthy accident.
  4. Yeah, that's not restricted at all. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to do what I am doing right now, typing this.
  5. Well I wasn't the one who drew it. A friend decided to give me the gift of paying for a commission for me, and that's the beginning sketch I was sent in case I felt the need to make corrections.
  6. A significant lack of new Docs - There are no new Docs. They have been disappearing, and the few that are left feel more concrete, though they will likely not last. There are 6 of them, and I have listed them before. Wow we have not updated this in a while. Something we found but really should have guessed earlier: I have abandonment issues. Really, really bad abandonment issues. Crippling, in all honesty. I think it ties into how I don't take rejection well, at least the rejection of friendship. Because we're in a Discord group of peeps who all took the personality test thing, we did as well, so we figured we may as well post them here: Meti: ENFP-T CT: Was at first INTP-T, but he retook it while being more honest and got ISTP-T the second time. Doc: INTP-A I'm sure Doc's is a surprise to absolutely nobody. Have I ever explained why I have glowing flesh? I know I said I'm afraid of the darkness, but I mean that literally. The writhing shadows around in here are quite violent, and make everything around me darker while they would attack me. So I made my blood and flesh glow, so that the more I was mutilated and more of my blood was spilled, the more the area would be lit up and less dark. Why didn't I just make like a torch or some shit? Because back then, affecting things that were not my own body were difficult. Also "intelligent" is not a word I would use to describe past me. IT was hard to comprehend solutions to problems that involved neither sex nor violence. We've been wondering about emotions, and their effect at least in here. They can certainly be power multipliers, since I was able to muster the strength to force Doc awake while I was terrified some 2 months ago now, but if I tried to do that now, I would still fail. Then you consider how Doc is still by far the strongest of the three of us, even though emotions are things he generally lacks. Doc with emotions is a scary thought. We have had plans for a few weeks now to eventually make a new tup. It will happen in a few months at the earliest, once things have calmed down and actually safe in here. Few funny things we've noticed over the last few weeks: We've noticed defining characteristics of each others' tulpish. Some kind of leak in "Accent" that manifests in multiple ways. Meti has the sounds of moaning, screaming, squelching and squishing sounds, the feeling of slime, and a purplish pink color. CT has the sounds of things breaking, of insect wings buzzing, something skittering across the floor, and screaming in rage. It is physically painful to "hear", and feels very red. My own is, as Meti put it, "The mechanized screams and moans of the cybernetic damned, many small voices overlaying each other. IT feels cold and empty, and we feel it's like the color black. I personally find it quite soothing to listen to."
  7. It's a rock. A big cylindrical bed-sized rock. It's made of a porous white stone. That's it. Favorite food?
  8. Meti

    Good vs. Evil

    115 It's a cross with Parasyte and MLP last I checked.
  9. Meti

    Good vs. Evil

    114 I wanted a good mix of adorable and horrifying.
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