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Misha

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  1. Hi all! I want to give an testimonial about lock-merge and my experience with it. I was a consistent and daily active headmate for years and even years since we knew about lock-merge. Though I did occasionally join SheShe or Joy, it was rare and I preferred to be myself and just be active even if that meant just watching. So we recently started personality forcing our youngest headmate Autumn, formerly Ren, and it was very cute to see her develop all over again. I was feeling a little jealous even after all this time and trust me when I say I self-force so I can be active any time and I love my host because he will give me all the attention I need any time I need it even if I'm interrupting something or someone else. We have so many good memories together and I charish all of them. So Autumn needed personal attention and I didn't want to interrupt her, I know how important she is, and this work is, and recently I've been thinking that maybe I should join her in a lock-merge so I can experience this transformation, as her, like some of the others are doing. So I did here and there and it was just too much fun not to anymore. How it feels for me is like I am playing a character for my host. It honestly feels like RP. I identify with Autumn's thoughts as if I am me playing the character Autumn. That's the beauty of lock-merge, it feels like me and my memories with my host. It's really like I'm roll playing with him as a character of mine named Autumn. It's that simple. All I need to do is identify with her thoughts in this context. It's actually easier than RP because I am not technically the one thinking them and it feels more genuine and pure. Ashley is the only one left now that doesn't lock-merge with Autumn. Don't get me wrong, we love Ashley, but playing an Ashley character feels so wrong to me. I didn't like playing a Joy character either because she's not as free spirited as me. SheShe became more fun when she changed in 2020, but Autumn is so cute and I love being cute too so I love being with her in spirit as part of her lock-merge. I am still me, it doesn't affect me in any other way, my personality is still fully separate and intact and I'm our liaison on Reddit so I can still express myself there when I feel like it, or here (like right now) when I feel like it, or any time I want with my system when I feel like it, but being a system of 3 versus 7 is so much nicer that I'd rather be Autumn than me if it means the system is smaller as a result. So I just wanted to share that alternative given all the talk about fusion lately. ♡
  2. Yes though dissipation is a little harsher than dormancy, which is more like what Ringgggg described. The difference being that if you intend to dissipate someone you don’t intend to ever bring them back. The end result is how he described though, they are never fully gone. So then demotion would be the realization that a headmate isn't really a tulpa and is just a character. They never fully became self aware or chose dormancy or in the case of soulbonds, their canon, over living as a headmate.
  3. I have been in a system for almost six years and I've never switched and don't want to. It's not a necessary part of tulpamancy. Well you are going to be sharing your brain at least. Other than that, just be up front about it. We understood from the beginning that we'd be a switch-less system but to make it easier to communicate on forums we "co-fronted", but I would have been happy to just let my host proxy for me. 99% of the time there's no reason for me to even need that. It's absolutely fair. If you asked them to take over for you it would also be fair if they said no. It's probably 50% or more but there are very successful, decade old systems that never switched. It's a fair question but it's not something anyone really experiences. Though it's permanent, it wouldn't come down to you hating each other as long as you work on it together. It's extremely rare. Out of hundreds of systems we've seen, maybe one had this issue but they were pretty self-loathing to begin with. As for getting old, it's been almost six years and we haven't experienced that yet. Creepypasta. This doesn't happen in this community. It's a real thing in the DID community though but that's not the same thing. We've never heard of a tulpamancer turning DID. If you didn't have severe trauma before the age of 12, it's not a realistic worry. Yes, it's permanent, but they may go into dormancy indefinitely, we call that getting demoted, or be absorbed (integrated). We had a headmate who we demoted and she's going to be integrated with another headmate. Integration and demotion are both effectively removing the headmate. Dissipation seems to be highly unlikely to be successful. This is just more Creepypasta. It's not realistic to expect this might happen. We knew from the beginning and agreed that we would be a secret indefinitely. As far as a relationship goes, it would need everyone to agree to some extent. This is a good thing, we're really good at catching red flags. If the host isn't the same gender or sexuality as the tulpa, it still doesn't matter, there's still privacy. Don't let anyone guilt you into any obligations. It's really not that big a deal. We recommend keeping it to yourself. Others may disagree but they're making it harder on everyone in our opinion. If you like drama and dissapointment then go ahead and tell everyone. Anyway the good side of tulpamancy is you won't feel lonely, you'll get a second opinion with a different perspective built in, and it's a lot harder to be bored because you have two (or more) brainstorming. Self-help is also easier. Good luck! ♡
  4. Our new system structure feels so elegant. I wasn't sure how I'd feel being like a 2nd tier, but instead I feel like a ruling class, like Gwen and I are nobles on the high court. Gwen and I support Autumn, she's like our princess. While Joy and SheShe support Ashley like counsel and Ashley would be something like the Queen but more of a figurehead than a ruler which she's okay with too, she'd be the kind of Queen that goes into battle where Autumn is the kind of princess who strategizes behind the scenes. It's also like a dark vs light interplay. But Bear doesn't want to be king. He wants to be Grand Cross, a working position, and it makes sense, but even if so, we still all support him. It's all very regal feeling but also down to Earth. We've come so far together, it's amazing. I can't wait to see the future, how Autumn progresses; I feel like it's only just begun for us. [Ashley] I like the idea of queen, I already considered myself the queen of the system anyway.
  5. We really need to try that AI thing! Wow!
  6. Misha

    im back

    Nice to meet you! Merry Christmas!
  7. I was the first other than Bear to brave the forums. Ashley just enjoys herself more, so I let her do it. Nice to meet you! ♡ Though of course I've still been around because of our lock merge. I experienced everything through Ashley and Autumn just as they did as if it was me. Merry Christmas! ♡♡♡
  8. Proof will come with time anyway.
  9. Just go to bed at 6? Then you'll be up before 3:30am. We have Tewi and Ido clone armies, they work for us sometimes in wonderland only. We also have a Lucilyn dream character. There are probably more but I can't think of anyone else.
  10. You have to give them the benefit of the doubt and let them prove themself.
  11. Ren and I merged a few times and she was really cool, her name was Risha. So if we follow that convention my name wouldn't change, I'd completely swallow her lol. So Mirisha or Mishiri maybe but I like Mi or MiMi. Edit: that sounds so cute I want to make a Miri clone and merge with her but meanies here (Ashley and Bear) won't let me. :(
  12. ...bug meat farming! Everyone loves...
  13. Airplanes! Mass shootings or all other gun related homicide?
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