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NotQuiteSkeptical

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    Not what you thought.

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    Male
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    UK
  • Bio
    I am great.

    Yeah, I said it. I dont have a sob story, I'm not modest. Life is pretty good and I'm pretty content with everything I have.

    I'm male, 22 years old, a gamer. I'm in a long standing relationship with a wonderful woman and have a decent job which pays well enough.

    I'm proud to use my mind to its full potential and to find ways to better myself. I'm proud to enjoy what I do and not feel the need to conform to what society tells me to.

    "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool"
  1. Nothing to worry about! I can state that with certainty, happened to me. Twice actually. I have no idea what happened, but when Crystal came back (after a day the first time, and about three days the second) she had deviated a fair bit and I could visualize her a lot more clearly.
  2. Title says it all, I hit 'log out', I get the 'You are being logged out' message and then It takes me to where I was, but still logged in. Tried it both pressing the 'If you don't want to wait' button and by just waiting. I log in regularly from two different computers, different networks etc and it's doing the same on both. Any ideas?
  3. Yeah... Think of your sort of guys, but limit the crime to 'get your 'crew' to jump a ten year old' or 'mug a pensioner' and you pretty much have our guys. It wouldnt be so bad if I wasnt describing 50% of the population.
  4. I did traits Mon, Tue, Wed. Then Friday, then the Friday after. Admittedly she only kept a handful of them so that might not have been the way to go! =]
  5. Over here in England (At least where I live) that is unfortunately what they call themselves. Outside the job center waiting for their benefits, sipping cheap cider in their tracksuits at 11am... Not even up to par with your gang-bangers who at least TRY to act like some kind of gang. Yup, thats what culture calls 'Gangsters' around here.
  6. Seriously, doubt is pretty much just proof that your not completly insane. Which is a good thing. Usually. I'm much more of a lurker than a poster now (Between forcing and other activities) but I like to keep up with folk, stick at it! ... And you can stop thinking about penguins now.
  7. Skeptical? Of course you are! We all are, If you can blindly believe in Tulpa without question you probably need to be institutionalised because humans, no matter how open minded, probably shouldnt be able to believe in something so far fetched so easily. Not that I'm saying it isnt real. I believe - I still have doubts from time to time and it's wasn't easy to believe at the start, but I believe. Ask yourself: Is a dream real? When I dream, I can touch, smell, taste, see and hear. We know that dreams dont actually physically happen, but I'll be damned if anyone tells me I've never dreamed because dreams aren't real. A tulpa is the same. Either way, your brain is sending you signals that it never received from the rest of your body. It's sending you signals for sight that your eyes never picked up or signals for touch that your fingers never told it to. Logically, there is no reason at all to believe that a tulpa is not real. The single thing which is different from a dream is that you are spending time and effort to consiously change what kind of signals your brain sends you. Try this: Don't think about Penguins. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, think about those freaky flightless birds with their cool walk. Penguins. Dont think about them. Even if you like Penguins, just, stop thinking about them. ... Thinking about Penguins yet? ... Regardless of if that worked for you (It does for most people). you probably get the picture. You force (hence, 'Tulpaforce') an idea, an image or a trait, to such a degree that it becomes ingrained. Is your mind playing tricks on you? No! If anything, your playing tricks on it! Our minds are cabable of amazing things, so much so that we will never fully understand them. I also spout opinion like it's the truth, but thats just because i'm too awesome to consider that I might be wrong. I know what is real to me. I hope this proves helpful, I find that, in times of doubt, going over things like this tends to help me, maybe it will help you.
  8. I like the idea behind this, but if I end up with a gangster cockroach tulpa, I'm holding you personally responsible. :p
  9. Day 33 ish. So, It's been a while since I last updated this. I'm not getting as long to force as I would like and given the choice between forcing and updating this log, I choose forcing. Crystal is coming along slowly: we havn't made a lot of progress recently but we have been moving forward. I'm getting better and better at simultaniously visualising her and incresingly larger areas of the Dreamworld. Right now I'm planning on working on the Lucid State more - I've had little sucess in this regard but its something I really want to do: when we achieved it before It was truly amazing. So I'm going to only be updating this every so often. I'll still be about the forums lurking, commenting and reading guides and I'll be updating this probably once a week or so unless I hit any particually interesting questions or milestones. On another note: Crystals personality is really developing. She's the same as ever when I force at all, but I've started seeing things from her perspective alongside my own more and more. It's quite refreshing.
  10. I call this 'Assisted Parroting'. From what I've read on here it seems like its a fairly common thing, though I dont think I've ever heard anyone give it a name. Basically, It's parroting in a way, but the way I came to interpret it is that it is when your Tulpa gives you a meaning, and your mind automatically assigns words so that you can understand. Think of it as talking to two friends, one says something that you don't understand at all, might even be another language. Then the other says "Oh, he means 'Lets go get a brew.'" I thought I was having major problems with parroting until I started thinking of it this way. From that point it seemed to sort itself out quickly.
  11. When I started forcing Crystal I couldnt visualise her form properly so I gave her the form of a glowing ball of light. About halfway into the first session doing this, she turned a vivid green, which reminded me of one of the semi-precious stones I have on my desk. I couldnt even remember the name of the stone, but I liked the idea. I thought of the names of a couple of others and 'Quartz' stuck in my head so we rolled wih that. Cue a few days of practise visualising later when I was confident enough to try and visualise her form properly again and found out that she had deviated a fair bit. Quartz just didnt fit her at all any more. I bounced some ideas around while passive forcing that day until I hit 'Crystal', which just sounded right. She's never really given me much in the way of opinions on it, either good or bad. I guess she's just not too bothered what I call her. Edit. ----- It was Jade, the stone that the colour reminded me of. Not that I knew that at the time. In hindsight, Jade would also have been a decent name...
  12. I recently got swamped under with too much stuff to handle, I try to speak with Crystal when I can but I've not properly forced in a few days at least. I think the key is not forgetting about your Tulpa: If you stop forcing because you forget about them, excuse the southpark refrence, you're gonna have a bad time. If your aware of your Tulpa, and you make it quite clear to both them and yourself that you fully intend to make time for them and that you havn't forgotton about them, I cant see it as having any adverse effects unless you go a long time without doing it. Of course, I'm no expert, but It's not caused me any issues with Crystal so far.
  13. Necro-posting rather than start my own topic, as I was wondering about this myself. Crystal... actually came out VERY diferant to what I expected. Possibly because I didnt spend too much time on personalilty: I emphasised some traits and just glossed over some others. The result so far seems to be that while a few of them have stuck, she deviated a LOT personality wise. I was trying to impose Curiosity, Intelligence, Eccentricity, Politeness and Kindness... You get the picture. Instead, Crystal is so far seemingly Brash, Forward and somewhat of a Troll. She isn't 'polite' by a long way, though her attitude seems more teasing than malicious. Loving every second of it, I wouldnt have her any other way. Any other examples of large scale deviation in personalilty?
  14. Weekend went badly Tulpa-wise - too many things to do, too little time. I'm still not sleeping properly but I AM sleeping again, albeit at unusual times (my sleeping pattern now seems to be about two hours forward.) Been feeling disconnected from Crystal but as I lay in bed last night I started to hear things from my memories again: while this doesn't directly relate to her I'm sure shes responsible at least indirectly: I never witnessed this before I started to Tulpaforce. Even though I feel disconnected from her, I dont feel the sense of dismay that I did before. I'll occasionally get brief headaches and remember her. When this happens I find that if I passive force I can feel her presence immediatly - I'll force for a while and ask her some questions, do some narration and generally have a bit of a (mostly one sided) chat with her. While we've been talking less over the weekend, I find that it feels less and less like i'm talking to myself (as it had started to feel recently.) Maybe I just needed to ease up for a while? From reading what other people have written it sounds like stopping forcing kills a Tulpa, but could it be like when you hit a brick wall in anything else - take a while away from it and come back feeling refreshed and renewed? Anyway, I'm going to do a full hour again sometime tonight: I dont want to risk getting too disconnected.
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