So not long ago I heard about this tulpa phenomenon, and something about it seemed to click with me, like it was natural to me, something I've already done before. So I decided to make a tulpa of my own. I'll try keep daily progress reports here about my journey. I have already started, but have not posted yet due to the 3-day wait period, so here goes!
Day 1
Tonight, I spoke to her for the first time.
yes, that is right, her. I have decided on her being female. I wasn't entirely sure where to begin so I just tried visualizing my wonderland, using a very special song. I think I made great success getting there. It's a very large space, in fact its quite cozy, a small secluded cabin, the front face of which is mostly windows, located a distance from a quiet always-nighttime city, overlooking its streets, where its always raining, but never floods, and unimportant cars drive by every now and then. Some of the things I can hear while there are the soothing sound of the rain, occasional thunder, wind chimes pinging in the breeze thats constantly flowing by. The inside of the cabin, for now, is a single floor, most easily described if split into 3 sections, the left right and middle. the left side (if looking in from the front door) includes some currently empty shelves, a couple comfy couches with a corner desk, lamp, and some nick nacks that I currently cant identify, and in the middle of this area is a small dugout occupied by a cushion, almost like a bed on the floor, a very comfy living space, and nice place to relax, think and chat. The right side includes some more shelves along the walls, also empty, and a king sized bed with blue sheets. Simple, plain, a nice place to nap. the middle is the most interesting. All that is in this section, aside from the front door entrance, across the cabin is a fireplace, some unidentifiable decorations adorn the wall above it, but most notably, on the shelf just above the fireplace is a sort of container, meant to hold a spherical object.
When I entered my wonderland I wasn't expecting to work at all on my tulpa, only to flush out the wonderland, and see how well I could visualize it, but when I looked towards this fireplace wall, and saw that container, sitting in it was a sort of grey misty void, and without thinking twice I instantly knew what this was. Its her. her essence, the core of her being. This is what will become her, if given enough love, care and attention.I instinctively scooped her out of the container and held her in my palms. the black misty form was warm, and pulsed lightly, almost like a heartbeat. I held her close to myself, before placing her gently back into the container. almost as if it were natural, I began talking to her, and maybe got a bit ahead of myself by doing what I remembered a guide saying to do, describing some traits to her. I only did a couple, spent a good 5 minutes or so on each one, but decided that I didn't want to risk falling asleep in while in the wonderland, so I promised her we would continue this tomorrow. As I smiled at the essence, I fealt an odd sensation in the back of my mind, I cant really describe it, its not like anything I've ever experienced, it wasn't very strong or big, but it made me happy. It made me smile, something I dont do often enough. I look forward to more of this, and I think this is going to be a worthwhile experience, no matter how it turns out.
Day 2
I entered back into my wonderland with ease, and everything was as I left it. A name came to me, seemingly at random, but I kinda like it. Leyn. That's her name, for now, unless she decides to change it. I started referring to her as Leyn. She's actually seated behind me right now, as I type this, I can't see her yet, but I can feel her presence, Shes there for sure. Anyhow, I have almost no direction right now, in terms of an agenda or whatnot. Just kinda wingin it. I attempted to give Leyn form today, to visualize her physical form, I think I did an ok job, shes still a bit fuzzy, but the first thing that happened when I gave her form, was she leaned towards me, and rested her head on my chest, giving me a warm hug. This is all very new to me, and I don't know if that was me, or her, but I know I wasn't expecting it, at all. It was very nice though. She takes the form of a furred dragoness, anthro, digitigrade legs, a white underbelly, and inside of thighs, and bottomside of her tail and rear, the rest of her fur an pleasant shade of blue. She had her eyes closed the whole time, I'm not sure why, maybe she thought I was silly having my eyes closed the whole time, so I don't know what color her eyes are yet. as far as the experiences in the wonderland today go, I found out that while I can visualize the interior of our cabin very easily, I have trouble moving around in the world outside. Things were sparatically changing as we moved, and I ended up having to drop us into a large body of water in order to stop things from changing around us. My mind is not very focused at this point I guess, but I'll try to work on that. Anyways, after a bit we rose up out of the water on a small obsidian-like rock island, and just layed around enjoying the warm sun, the clouds, the sound of the waves crashing and eachothers company. It fealt nice just being with her. I spoke to her a few times, but there was not yet any auditory response. Maybe soon. She did almost always respond with body language, but again I dont know if that was me or her, I cant tell at all, but I will put faith in her. She loves hugs apparently <3 I am ok with this.
Day 3
Tonight I had alot of trouble concentrating, probably had something to do with how tired I was, but I decided to enter my wonderland anyways, as I was very excited to spend more time with Leyn. I got there and began to visualize her, and attempt to narrate my day. The narration when smoothly, but afterwards I started losing focus, and kept having to re-enter my wonderland and revisualize her. Eventually I couldn't anymore and simply fell asleep. I feel bad for not being able to concetrate long enough for a full session last night, but I plan to make up for it tonight!