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russellsteapot

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  1. I don't know whether something similar to this has been posted here already or not (I used the search function but nothing specific came up), but I started working on this after reading an article on tulpas and hinduism, and it seems to be helping. I don't believe in anything metaphysical myself, so the rest of the article is of no interest to me, but this section seems to be describing a midway step between visualization and imposition, and it might be helpful. TL;DR Open-eyed visualization without trying to impose your tulpa. You visualize the entire scene, including your wonderland, exactly as you would with your eyes closed, but without visually imposing your tulpa yet. (Using a or something similar might help. Soundscapes, essential oils, or whatever you use to involve your other senses are welcomed at first as well.) The idea is to use this exercise to train yourself to ignore distractions. Plus, it's really difficult to focus on all five senses with your eyes open, so it might help with imposition upon the other senses as well. Bonus: I've also been using the (without music though) to work on feeling my tulpa's presence around me. Among the other things, this makes me feel better when I realize that I haven't been forcing much due to all the time I've wasted on the internet, but I digress. I just do really short sessions of five-ten minutes, possibly multiple times during the day, where I keep my eyes focused on the candle and try to sense my tulpa moving around the room. It can lead to chatting in mindvoice (they might be curious about what you're doing and how they can help), which is good. Just try not to get distracted by what you see around you and you should be doing fine. (If you do get distracted however, just go back to the candle. It's no big deal. You'll get better.)
  2. Thank you, that was actually really helpful. I know it's different for everyone, but how long would you say it took you before you started feeling that Eva and Ada were consistently there? I'm also wondering if it's too soon to start working on imposition. I'm thinking that maybe working on something that's objectively harder could help with the whole process, even if I won't actually be able to impose him for a long time. I have no problem with visualization, and I can usually distinguish his voice easily, assuming that I can coax him out. But I'm worried that it could complicate things for both of us, especially in case he would like to change something about his appearance (I don't think he wants to, but I can't be sure).
  3. In short, I'm at that point where I'm one month/one month and a half in, and I doubt everything. How do you guys deal or have dealt with it? There are moments when it's very discouraging. Just a bit of background to explain where I'm coming from (but I'm sure I'm not alone in this). When I created my tulpa I had no idea that tulpas were a thing, and I was just trying to get back into meditation. Visualizing has always been easier to me, so I went with the classic "safe place" visualization and at some point I was just hanging with my tulpa (whom, as I said, I didn't know was or could be a tulpa). When I started getting all the responses you'd expect to get after you've been willingly tulpaforcing for a while (feeling your tulpa's presence, finding yourself talking to them during the day...), I got worried that I was driving myself crazy and... stopped. (I know. I'm not proud.) Fast forward two or three months later, I discover tulpas, slap myself on the forehead, and rush back to forcing again. He's still there, everything is fine, I get responses, and the first weeks are really good. Now I don't know what's going on. He's constantly coming up with things I don't expect, especially when it comes to add or modify things in our wonderland, and the emotional responses I get sometimes are really strong. Also his personality is really defined, in terms of what he likes or doesn't like (although he's still figuring it out himself), even though I never sat down to force with character traits in mind. But I don't know what kind of signs I should be looking for outside of our active forcing sessions. Sometimes I don't know how to interact with him during passive forcing. I get distracted easily, and I can mention only two or three instances outside of active forcing when I had the feeling that it was actually him and not me (one was him trying to show me that I wasn't parroting and it ended up upsetting me, so I'm at least sure about that). But lately I can't even feel him around much, and it's nerve-wrecking. When I go back to wonderland there are new buildings or rooms everywhere so maybe he's been busy, but I mostly feel like we're somewhat out of touch. Or that maybe I'm just becoming more subtle at making everything up. Ironically, he was much more present and real to me when I wasn't expecting any kind of progress and didn't know that I had a tulpa at all. (Side note: I did base him on a character but he didn't have much in common with said character right from the beginning, and has almost nothing at all in common with him now, except for really basic traits. I'm happy about it. Thinking about the character I based him on feels weird to me now and I suppose this is good. But at the same time, quantifying our progress is more difficult this way). Basically, DEEP PARANOIA on my side. I do assume sentience, I do assume vocality, I do assume he's there and that maybe I'm just too stressed about my life to hear him clearly or even feel him around. But sometimes I just feel like I'm talking to myself. Sorry for the wall of text, if you want a tl;dr just read the first 2 lines. Any advice would be great, I feel completely stuck. When they do become vocal, is it or should it be a "definite" thing? Or are there times when you can't hear them or feel their presence despite them being vocal and you trying really hard to have a conversation? We had got to a point two weeks ago where I could chat with him easily whenever I wanted, and now it's not that easy or frequent anymore, so I was either parroting before or something is up now. And I have no idea which one it is.
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