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Shadow

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  1. Other than basic emotion supression I believe we've found ways to trigger the basic responses for the release of certain chemicals, no data-based proof yet (as we don't have access to a lab) but they should be fairly easy to recreate even without a tupper. Just takes patience and practice, all of these are produced naturally, save for specific illnesses: Dopamine: the basic pleasure/reward response, often released naturally when completing a task or getting something that you want. Forcing can naturally cause this to release if you find reward in it, however you or your tupper should be able to trigger the reward feeling even without doing anything once you recognize the feeling. Haven't found much practical use for this, unfortunately. Oxytocin: Produced during emotional bonding, including physical platonic or intimate contact. Hug your tulpa and your brain will send these out - however once psychologically bonded tight enough, your tupper should be able to hug you and emotionally bleed over the same effects. Good for combating depressive states if that's something you struggle with. Adrenaline: Manually triggering the fight-or-flight response is just a matter of truly believing you're at risk, or in a dangerous situation. It can potentially shorten reaction time, and in my expirence it makes practical forcing easier, but is emotionally draining to keep up. Most likely better solutions exist, as most systems here have actively developed counters over triggers for fight-or-flight. Endorphins: Naturally released during exercise, injury, and sex. We've developed a way to artificially create a "runners high" - a large release of endorphins, though I won't discuss the exacts for that one on a public board. Most useful for pain supression without actively ignoring it, though it can provide other benefits such as a second wind during exercise, if that doesn't naturally occur in time. This is the one we've found the most use in - as we participated in several sports pre-pandemic and having access to an at-will second wind was very nice. I'd recommend against abuse of this - it's a very easy thing to lose, and becomes less effective the more you use it, in our expirence. Hopefully this shed some insight - I know this is nothing groundbreaking, and easy to achieve for non-tulpamancers as well, however this is the extend that we've studied altering (or more accurately, activating) neurotransmitters / brain chemistry. I may have some words or explainations incorrect - I am not a biologist or medical practitioner by trade. It's important to mention on top of that, I can't be certain how much of this is true activation, and how much is simply placebo. The curse of our kind, I suppose. Best of luck on your endeavors; we hope your research and practices prove fruitful. - SnS
  2. Hey Bear! This is helpful insight! We have a similar model, except for instead of a couch it is a chair, and the screen to look through my eyes serves the dual function of being my mind's eye to look inwards with. We've since had to develop a seperate area "inside the eye" for Shade to preform her workings while we're practicing - mayhaps having a constant visualisation of a "no switching" poster here would indeed help! It is entirely unintentional of course (switching is very hard for us otherwise), but it could certainly do the trick. Though our inner object permanance is an etch-a-sketch comparative to your mind-vault, hopefully we can attain a similar level of skill with it eventually. Failing the reminder, this does seem to be an attainable alternative solution. I do recall reading, and enjoying, your descriptions of different techniques your system has come up with to deal with unique situations - perhaps development of our own manual reset or autoreset is in order, if we can trade instantaneously then Shade wouldn't have to worry about being stuck in the front should something else require our immidiate attention. One time we were interrupted, practicing while Shade was stuck switched in, and it was very awkward hahaha. We'll have to let you know how it goes! Thanks again, Cheers! - SnS
  3. First and foremost; welcome back! I've been in a similar situation, several years of dormancy does tend to create a void. I'd reccomend not trying to re-enter that world directly (yet); its no longer a place with substance. You've already build the shell, and no doubt your mind still holds the connections - however that empty feeling (not being able to see or feel) is because nothing is left right now to animate it. Forcing and narrating the old way, waiting for emotion bleeding or head pressures, and holding faith that it will come back is the only method I've found works. I wish there was something quicker and easier to suggest - perhaps the rest of the community can help there - but hopefully like myself you'll find development much quicker this time around. My tulpa had almost disapated almost entirely (intentionally), and it was a struggle to get the first steps back in after knowing and feeling everything that came before. After the first taste of true sentience though, it comes back much quicker than it took to form initially. (For reference, it took about a month of daily meditation to get her sentient enough to truly confirm it was her, and two more to get us at a comparable level to what we were before.) I would assume you have changed both developmentally and otherwise during this time, I would expect the same to be true once you bring them back. Just keep on narrating and forcing with faith, and I'm sure they will return - these things take time. We personally wish you the best of luck - and if there's anything further I can do to help - please don't hesitate to ask. - SnS
  4. Hey there! I have a bit of a backwards question for here - I've learned switching years ago, however we didn't deem it useful nor pleasurable, so we did not master it nor pursue its finite details. I'm currently throwing a lot of hours at parallel processing, and we've run into a slight issue; unintentional switching. I'd appreciate it if there were any insights to be shared on how to prevent switching from occuring - while practicing we're preforming activities very similar to co-fronting, however sometimes I will become "shunted" into the mind and Shade will be fully in front - effectively switched. It's quite jarring when this occurs, and takes us a moment to get me back in front (re: unmastered skill). While we were able to chalk the first couple of times up to beginners mistakes, it's now impeding our progress as we are unable to prevent this from occuring. I should mention that this only happens after an extended period of time into our practices in developing PP, once we reach a comfortable in-sync state, Shade will sometimes preform an action not tied to the body part she's posessing - muttering a statement out loud, or making a gesture. This, for some reason, grabs the entire front out of my hands - leaving Shade switched in and myself in the place she normally resides. She very much dislikes being in the front ; as I find extreme discomfort in not. We've tried several different strategies for "drawing a line in the sand", however this impedes our ability to both work at the same time - certain permissions need to be granted for her to work alongside me. If this isn't something you guys have developed yet, then any advice on how to get the host quickly back in front would be greatly appreciated in place. The first time this occured, it took 15 minutes before I had my metaphorical hands back on the controls again, we've since reduced that time down to 2 minutes, however that is still too long for comfort. Mayhaps I just need to throw some time at mastering switching to make it seamless, and its just something we'll have to deal with. Thanks! - SnS
  5. forg also hello again lotpw, unfortunately this thread is now locked so i win ;)
  6. Good day Michael. I have expirenced this phenomenon as well; I've taken to calling it "Personality Fracturing". My own Shade has been having some problems recently in regards to it, sometimes beginning to seperate (or fracture) into two personalities/tuppers instead of one. This is something that neither of us want, and that both of us make conscious efforts to avoid and undo - thankfully successfully. I do believe it is natural occurrence, however. Perhaps when active personality forcing stops and natural evolution occurs, leaving it unchecked without proper boundries. It is very interesting, and we have studied it intently - in order to prevent or reverse something you must understand first. While I am purely of scientific belief, I do find extreme success in a lot of occult/weird psychology teachings, even if just in use as a metaphor during our forcing sessions. It is nice to see a kindred spirit here, and extremely interesting that our first tuppers share the same name and have similar chosen appearences. Best of luck in furthering your journey. If you have any other questions on my research, don't hesitate to ask! Ive been dormant on the forums for almost 2 years now, and have much to share. I'm waiting for more development in a certain field before I return here full force, but I still lurk from time to time haha.
  7. After a light search, I'm unable to find out a concrete definition on what an anthrocide is. Perhaps I have indulged in too much nicotine and can no longer comprehend the subject, I do hope the effect will happen to insects as well. Bugs can be annoying.
  8. Indeed, I'm a sucker for a good brew but honestly I'll drink almost any type of coffee. Got hooked on energy drinks for a while so caffeine's effects are a little less noticeable than they were before. And on the topic of insecticides, nicotine is also among the list of substances my corpse is addicted to. Keeps the bugs out of the system 😉
  9. Such is the nature of this cruel thread... Although the day this game is won will be a somber one. I will revel in the shifting tides until then.
  10. When I was in my lurking days, this was funnily enough one of my favorite threads for gauging the personalities of currently active users. Alas, I partake one more; I will be the last one who posts...
  11. banned for post editing without an 'edit:' addendum
  12. Shade first came into existence when I was quite young, much like OP. She has also aged along with me but insists on being one to two years my junior, something we come to believe is born from the different stages the brain develops in and the parts of the brain responsible for her inhabitance. We both believe that this pattern will continue, as nothing suggests otherwise and any significant perceived age gap could prove disturbing to us, as we've been close for so long already.
  13. Disclaimer: I don't advocate the use of drugs that are illegal in your area and haven't been prescribed to you. Simply don't do it, the risks outweigh the benefits. That being said, I have tried a few and documented their effects on both myself and my headmate. None were done during her development, and I've never been addicted to any substance other than alcohol, nor have I been diagnosed with any mental disorders (Though I do suspect myself of having depression or a minor form of ADHD). I have also never had any prescriptions, so I should be a relatively controlled variable for those who are seeking examples for documentation. With that out of the way, here's a list of effects on both myself and my tulpa from all the substances I've tried. Here's the general format I'll be using: Substance General effects/quirks Effects on communication Effects on visualization Marijuana I tend to overthink and stress myself out more often than not, though it's entirely dependent on my environment and current circumstances in life, as there are times when it can be very pleasurable and relaxing. During my bad highs, Shade will often outright ignore the effects and ease my time. There has even been a reoccurring vision of her reaching out her hand to pull me out of the anxious pit that I fall into when I consume too much, which does often end my incoherent trains of thought. On the flip side, during pleasant highs, Shade often succumbs to the effects along with me to enjoy herself as well. It's a pleasant time. I've spoken with her about her varying resistances to the effects and her explanation is that it effects her the same regardless, but the inane amount of stress I can put myself through during bad highs causes her to sober up in order to help me. Kind of how you would sober up a to help a friend having a panic attack, however more intense as empathy is driven through the roof when you occupy the same skull. It's very hard to communicate during the bad highs, with much gibberish tulpish and a lot of what does get across can have a warped and completely inversed meaning. The probable cause of this is my over-analyzing of absolutely everything during these panic attacks. The effect is opposite during the good highs, the added relaxation does much to help. Visualization is interesting on this one, as during the bad highs she appears to regress back to a more primal form during the bad highs, taking on the form of a light blue glowing orb. This, accompanied with the butchered tulpish that we communicate in does dissipate once she 'pulls me out of it'. Alcohol There were a few situations in my life in which I've been addicted to alcohol, thus I'm fairly well versed in the effects that varying levels of intoxication have on my system. I respond as any normal person would, albeit I don't get violent unless threatened with violence myself, and I have a slightly above average tolerance. Shade generally appears to progress much the same as I do, though she delights in the feeling perhaps a little too much and will often try to drive me to consume more. Which I admittedly will happily oblige to. Communication doesn't change throughout my intoxication, unless I get blackout and then communication will predictably break down. Visualization is admittedly more difficult to maintain focus on the more intoxicated I become, but otherwise is unaffected. Generic uppers (cocaine, ritalin, etc) Generally used as a go-to during parties along with alcohol, I've also taken to using them (on occasion, and lightly) to complete massive tasks in one attempt. I find they all increase my focus, mood, and motivation. While at first opposed to their use, Shade has since begun to endorse them to an extent, as her presence during use increases exponentially. Communication during use becomes many times more effective, and a lot faster and streamlined. Intrestingly, we begin to use tulpish alongside english once we reach this heightened state. Visualization also increases quite a lot, but we haven't practiced anything yet because we're usually focused on various tasks. Unknown Psychoactive I've never willingly taken psychedelics, nor will I try them again. There was a time in my life where I was hanging out with a bad crowd of people, and been unknowingly spiked with something known locally as "grim reaper". It was laced into the weed me and the group were smoking, and had an extremely profound effect on those involved. Some people claim it was DMT, others claim it was an acid bomb. I have no idea. One person fainted shortly after their hit, one person went screaming into the woods and had to be retrieved several times, one person was entirely unaffected, and two others simply had panic attacks. My experience was quite disturbing, as once I was finished coughing I'd found myself sitting quite far from where I took the hit. After that, I'd forgotten nearly all the happenings in my life before they slowly returned. The area we were in also contorted quite a bit, and on several occasions switched colors. I'd also experienced quite a few visual and audio hallucinations, though I was unbothered by them and immediately recognized them has illusory. This was also the only time I've successfully preformed imposition, I've never really practiced it otherwise as I see no practical application of it for myself and Shade shows no particular interest. I also began to experience something I've since found out is called Ego Death, but Shade helped me stop the event before any mind damaging results came from it. After the initial trip, I was left in an extremely suggestible state and agreed with everything said to me. My significant other at the time (who was sober) tried to use this side effect maliciously, however Shade saw through what I didn't and gave me commands opposite to what the other party was, thus saving me from some pretty terrible things. Once the night was over, I was left quite groggy for several days. Communication was not possible before I remembered Shade existed, and after that it started off difficult, but gradually got easier until it returned to normal about halfway through the experience. Visualization was completely impossible throughout the experience and for the few days afterwards when I was groggy. Although during the hallucinatory part of my experience, I effortlessly achiever imposition despite no prior practice. Shade's description of it is that it was as easy to achieve as normal visualization, however instead of appearing in my mind's eye, she appeared before my physical eyes. During the trip she exclaimed to be able to from her point of view and relay that experience back to me. Being a firm believer in science, we both know this was impossible in hindsight and have chalked it up to my brain simply remembering the area and making extremely accurate predictions. Feel free to follow up with any questions, though I don't plan on trying any other substances other than the initial 3 listed here so this should be the extent of my research on the subject.
  14. 2092 and i still continuously screw up replies lmao
  15. Im back after a long haitus, some drama happened along the way but me and Shade are both back and better than ever!
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