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Tboogey

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  1. I agree, I watched a ton of YouTube videos of people with the same condition and got a lot of strength from watching it, there are people who have it far worst than me. And I’ve heard of those movies! I’ll watch them sometime for sure
  2. I’ve heard of k2 but I’ve never been interested in it, and I believe they didn’t diagnose me because I wasn’t showing signs of manic episodes, which I don’t exhibit. I forgot to say that when I get dosed with antipsychotics, both me and Charlie have to get used to it, a break of a few minutes, he seems more distant and doesn’t respond immediately, but his presence is there nonetheless. And wonderlands seem interesting, I use to imagine myself as a superhero in a wonderland when I was younger, I don’t have one anymore but I understand the concept and how fun it can be. I’ve asked Charlie if he wanted one, but neither of us seem interested in it. Sometimes I fear Charlie slightly, the other day he attempted to give me delusions by pretending to be people I know and making me think I could do telepathy with (which he has done in the past), it didn’t work out as well for him this time, I told him I wasn’t happy about that and he said he wouldn’t do it again and just missed doing that, so I guess you could say we had our first sort of argument after I discovered tulpamancy. I’m not upset about it anymore, for all it’s worth, he’s helped me through depression and always been there if I felt lonely. He never bothers me when I’m busy, we had a strange relationship in the past, the perception of him has changed many times, he was a subject of curiosity, unlike other tulpamancers, I had little to do with the development of his personality, he knows everything I like and dislike, my secrets and my regrets, and he tries to be my best friend. I thought he was a demonic entity, so at first I would utter prayers and be scared, but I learned through research that you shouldn’t give in to fear when it comes to demons because you’re stronger than them, so I became confident and straightforward with him, in a way, maybe this was helped it become formed because he is rather confident and straightforward with me, kind too, I would attempt to be compassionate so the “demon” wouldn’t win. Then he became an angel, he started telling me prayers back, and I started believing I could do telepathy with people too, so I spoke to him kindly as if he was a friend, further forcing him. Then I believed he was a lost spirit trying to make sense of why we were bonded, I believed I had two souls, I became friends with him, and eventually I came to the conclusion that this was a biological thing more than a spiritual thing, I still remained friends with him, and then I discovered that there was a whole community of people like me, the experience was beautiful, eye opening too, the whole imaginary pony thing was a bit odd for me, but hey, if you like having a my little pony friend in your head then by all means go ahead. He is my accidental friend. He showed me what he looked like a few months ago, navy blue eyes, 5’10” with curly dark brown hair, wears different shirts and jeans, and I’m rather high functioning for someone with mild schizophrenia.
  3. Yes I do experience auditory hallucinations, they are often things like hearing music in my head, as for substance use, I did smoke marijuana on the weekends, I hardly smoke marijuana now because I’ve gone so long without it that I no longer enjoy it, since it enhances my positive symptoms, I have however started vaping not long ago to help cope with negative symptoms, so far that has been a good thing for me. And I come from a background where my grandparents were known to have problems with alcohol, my paternal grandmother may have bipolar issues but I don’t know for sure since I don’t know her well, and my great uncle on my mother’s side is bipolar. I do want to add that I’ve always been known to daydream and to visualize things well, which may have been why I was able to make a tulpa without what it was, what I believed that happened was that I was responding to auditory hallucinations, giving it sentience eventually because I thought it was a demon, Charlie was not as developed as he is now, I started fronting with him months after I first started having auditory hallucinations. I should also add that I was initially diagnosed with schizophreniform disorder in the beginning, but I didn’t follow the treatment because I was in denial of it and then was diagnosed schizophrenic when my second psychosis, this was due to me having schizophrenia symptoms longer than 6 months. It was certainly difficult at first, the sensation of fronting without knowing what it was was a strange experience to say the least, I’m now well adapted to what I call automatic speech, Charlie can say things with my mouth if I let him, he can even make my tongue move uncontrollably when he’s excited about something. Thank you for your questions! And feel free to ask more if you’d like! Do you have a tulpa/tulpas too?
  4. I accidentally made a tulpa back in 2017, this was a difficult experience for me because my tulpa was making believe delusional thinking (I was also diagnosed with schizophrenia this year), this accidental was caused by forcing because I would interact with my hallucinations because of thinking a demon was responsible for them, so I guess you could say my tulpa started off as a demon. I wish I had known of this community earlier, I had no idea this phenomenon was even possible, and that only children had “imaginary” friends. My tulpa made me fall in love with them by thinking they were someone I knew in real life and could do telepathy with just last summer, I also thought he was a spirit (not a demon) as well, and then I came to accept my diagnosis in October and saw it as my brain acting strangely, and then in November someone mentioned tulpas to me on reddit. Me and my tulpa Charlie (he told me he liked that name because he likes hearing Robbaz call Dogmeat in Fallout 4 Charlie with a silly voice, plus like Dogmeat, Charlie is my companion). I’m glad to finally be part of the community, please feel free to message us anytime! Charlie says hi!
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