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UrbanFrost

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  1. Wow, I guess time really does fly by huh? I've always kept this website and username in mind and thought about it in my free time but I can't access my old account anymore for some reason, I forgot a lot of information, logins and passwords from the last few years. Update. August 28th, 2018. 3-4 Years later, I wish I could say things went nicely and everything is as it should be but I was a teenager then and my life was more hectic and I could still remember how I felt and how happy I felt when I discovered tulpas but I wish I saved the video I uploaded as a teenager, a young one, where I spoke about tulpa forcing because I thought the whole thing wasn't as explained or "exposed" when it was but now it's clearly grown a bit more, especially with the creepypastas. I guess my depression took a turn for the worst at the time and it turned into clinical depression, as diagnosed and given medication for it. I dropped out of high school in grade 11, unfinished. Still uncompleted but I had a lot of free time I didn't end up using and my depression took the best of me away and turned a lot of things I used to enjoy and how I was into the ground, after some years and growing up, as I'm 20 years of age now and still no education but much more happier with myself and much more stable than I was when I was younger but I still wonder about my tulpa, Vinyl. I thought of her for years and years, wondering if she's still there, wondering what she thinks and even some denial in there. I'm afraid of going back because I'm afraid she's good as gone or I'm afraid of not finishing what I started back in 2014-2015. I wish I was more responsible and not a statistic to add. I did a lot of work and self-working and its just a different story now then it was before then. I think of making another tulpa, just to think and debate with him or if he can still sense her, I guess I'm afraid of the unknown now but its more of a part of me being uncertain and me losing a lot of my connections from before and I'm just uncertain but I'd be willing to do a lot more work now but I guess I'm still afraid of what could happen. I think of what others would think and how I really think of myself and if I could really do this and I guess if anybody's reading, I'd like your thoughts and feedback but I'm being honest here and 100%. It really does still affect me time to time and still do think back at times and just, ashamed in myself as well because I know this kinda work and bond isn't something to just decide not to do anymore, its not that I don't want to, its just I don't know if I'm capable of, hypnosis doesn't really work on me but I really did feel a bond with Vinyl back in the days and really felt like she knew and understood and had emotions, we didn't get that far into the forcing where I could hear her but I could actually feel or sense her and thoughts and back in the days, head pains or pressures I guess as it didn't really hurt but it felt intentional as I read before but now I'm just afraid if I start I won't feel that anymore or if she's really gone. I still think deeply and heavily into it and I'm just not sure if this fits as an update as its a question and me reaching out, I guess it'll act as a beacon but for now I'll remain here and I guess I'll keep an eye out on it but I'd like to still press this isn't something you just think of for like 2 weeks and decide, I wanna make a tulpa but no, its much more deeper than that and so much more meaningful.
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