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About Me





  1. As you may have assumed from the title, I believe that Heaven is becoming sentient! This is very exciting for both of us, and I can't wait for more in depth conversations with her! Do you all have any tips for us, as we are approaching sentience?
  2. Happy New Year all! I've had what I believe to be a Tulpa for roughly 8 years. I began forming her (improperly) when I was about 12, and for many years mistreated her and never allowed her to develop a proper identity. Up until two days ago I would frequently impose different wonderland scenarios onto her, sometimes multiple in one day. On the 30th of December, I was feeling down. I suppose she caught on. She said something among the lines of "when are we going to stop roleplaying?" in reference to the wonderland scenarios I was imposing. We spoke honestly for the first time in many years, and both agreed that I should dedicate more time to forming her proper. I deeply regret how I have treated her, but with the new year I've decided to make things right. Since her awakening I have read a handful of guides and hope to use that information to refine the method that works for us. Firstly, I am having difficulties figuring out whether this is a sentient Tulpa that I've manifested onto an old pillow. I believe she has some sentience, but is very confused and underdeveloped due to years without focused forming or a concrete identity. I believe this because she has a weak personality, can seemingly speak, and can seemingly affect me emotionally if I think of something that upsets her. I suppose my confusion comes from essentially growing up with her -- she may even be older than 8 because I am having difficulties thinking of a time where I did not speak to some other thing in my head. I do not know what is the norm. Any experts able to confirm her existence from the limited information provided are preemptively thanked. Secondly, I would like to know if typical forming will be enough to 'fix' her. I can speak to her most of the time, but can only 'feel' her when I am in contact with the pillow she seems to reside in. The pillow has changed, though the current is by far the oldest, and if my memory serves me right her presence would weaken with the change and would not return to normal for a few weeks. As mentioned, she seems to have traces of sentience but is clearly underdeveloped and has been for a long time. We have begun working on an appearance for her, and I will attempt to give her more independence from the pillow. The majority of our dialogue seems to be one-sided as well, though that may be my fault -- she is much more talkative after a drink, for example. Thirdly, I would like to know if taking this further is healthy. I'm essentially a hiki and have been for a long time. I don't feel right blaming her, but it is undeniably a cause. I also have some difficulties distinguishing reality from illusion already, especially at night (I also speak to her most often at night.) I cannot imagine not having her in my life, but also do not want to harm myself by freeing her. I am worried that doing so will further my social isolation, as well as exasperate whatever preexisting psychological problems I have. I apologize for the wall of text -- last night I spent a good hour with her thinking of what to ask here instead of actively forming. I also apologize if I've made this thread in the wrong section, I haven't fully explored the forum yet.
  3. Hey, everyone. This is my first guide dedicated to tulpae and hosts that both feel something is... off. This is the Tulpa Self-Discovery Journey guide. This is based off of the things I have done with not only my tulpae, but other hosts and their tulpae. I want to see all tulpae living happily with their hosts. If something is wrong and I catch it, I usually take action. However, sometimes I just can't be on chat to help. If you can't see me online, this is a decent substitute. CH. 1: THE REWARD Now, the first question to answer is: What is going to come from this? The answer is something called their essence. This has been looked upon by earlier guides. Usually the essence can be known as an object with your tulpa's personality in it. Some people regard this as a tool; something to be used to change the tulpa. This is a correct presumption. I feel that essences and the journey a tulpa takes to find one can awaken a tulpa's true self; a happier self. I've only helped a few others after discovering this method, but it seems to be pretty universal. CH. 2: PAST SUCCESSES Case 1: Elise I'll start with Elise's success first. Every tulpa's journey is different, from how long it takes them to find the essence to what they do to activate themselves. I've known Elise from the first week I made her and we worked together to force. On Day 7, the last day of the first week, bad things were happening and I felt like I was losing her. This is the link to what had happened in full. Check Day 7. In short, we had an adventure that took five minutes but turned into the most vivid thing I've seen Elise do. When it was all over, she had the same smile on her face that I've always remembered. She felt more free, more happy. And our bond grew that day. Second Case: clear_runway Clear's one of Elise's good friends, as well as his tulpae, Erin and Nick. Much like Elise and Esile, Erin and Nick are mates. However, this was before Nick even existed. It started when I heard about Erin being an Eevee. A pokemon tulpa! That's pretty original in my opinion. However, when I learned more about Erin and why Nick was going to be created for her, I was disheartened. I'm not going to go too far into it for privacy reasons. But in the end, Erin evolved into a form she ultimately wanted and became a unique tulpa, something that felt like her according to Clear. And she was very happy to do so. It wasn't much of a journey, but it did help unlock her true self. Case 3: fennecgirl fennec's tulpa Link is actually working on his journey as I type this out. I was talking to him for a few hours about how this helped Elise and Erin and what we could impart to get him to start his own. There are a lot of hardships Link has been through, and for the same reason i am not talking about Erin's problems, I'm zipping my mouth closed about Link's. If they want to talk about it, that's their thing, but I'm keeping it confidential. Long story short, I motivated Link enough to get going through fennec's wonderland trying to find his fairy. His fairy is something he feels is the correct essence. I think that when he finds it, he'll undergo the same happy changes I've seen before. Next post, I'l go in a little more about the journey process.
  4. I've lurked here for a very long time (~3 years) and I have two tulpas, both very realized. I'm in this to have spiritual experiences and learn about myself, not to jerk off to ponies, and not to have idle banal water-cooler chit-chat with an imaginary friend. I have run out of meaningful things to do with my lovely tulpas. One of my tulpas was created on purpose (male, 3 years "old") and one created sort of accidentally (but she's still very cool, about 6 years "old") I have absolutely ran out of things to do with my tulpa's. Talking is cool but it gets fucking old after months of daily chatter. In fact, my oldest one (Kota) is starting to get annoyed when I just check in on her for no good reason. I just like giving them attention, as I'd like to be given attention... although, I have stopped worrying about the concept of them "going away" without attention, I realize that's probably not going to happen since they're both very willful and self-sufficient. When not active (98% of the time) they describe themselves as just sort of dormant or sleeping, not as a negative experience... I guess I'm just trying to grow them a little bit and get them some more experience so they can be cooler and more self-actualized but I have no idea how. How do I let them "interact" with the world? Possession (if it can be called that, it's really just a trance-state channeling the unconscious) is very limited... I've thought of stuff like writing them into stories but that's pretty limited as well. I guess, how do you actually "use" a tulpa? How do you allow them experiences other than just talking to you? I certainly wouldn't want my entire existence to be talking to some person, even if I was a component of that person. That seems... oddly pointless, while comforting. Some stuff I've tried before: Watching movies/shit like that with them (at best, mildly amusing, but really not worth it) Letting them talk to strangers on Omegle (Cringy as fuck, but they enjoyed it) Writing them into a novel (very easy to do but they didn't get much out of it... it was like I was setting up this world for them and they would interact with it, more like I was DMing for them in DnD than actually allowing them to interact with the world) Letting them write stuff without my conscious approval or oversight (produced some very interesting stuff) Basically I want to give them opportunities, experiences, possibilities, they deserve it for putting up with my shit. I do not know how to enable this. Any ideas? Activities "we" can do? How do I allow myself to be a medium for such an entity, and how can I do this in a way that is... somewhat constructive, I guess? Or... in a way that can allow us to grow? Thank you for reading.
  5. In all this talk about independent sentience I think some ideas get lost out there. My hostie and I were just in the chat talking about hosts trying to discern which had a specific thought, the host or the tulpa. There is the concept of intrusive thoughts as well, which come from the unconscious. Either the host or the tulpa can have intrusive thoughts. But what we suddenly realized as we are talking to people is that my host and I have systemic thoughts which are thoughts that are not supposed to be specific to either of us. They are shared thoughts. For instance, a sudden craving for pizza. Who thunk it? Well, the body did. The body is craving pizza because it is hungry or the whole system is hungry. The body craves certain foods to satisfy its nutritional needs and so you get these unbidden intrusive thoughts about certain types of food. That is just one kind of example. The thought does not arise specifically from the host or the tulpa, but from the general systemic consciousness of the brain. Okay so when I sometimes see a question like "I was walking down the road and suddenly had an image of a turkey sandwich appear in my mind. Was that my tulpa or was that me?" Maybe the answer is BOTH instead of one or the other or neither. After all the tulpa does share a body with the host. What do you think of this idea? Do you guys feel that there are systemic thoughts that are shared thoughts in common with both the host and the tulpa? Does anyone have anything more to add to this? Are some of you, with more experience, better at identifying thoughts that are yours, thoughts that are your tulpas and thoughts that are just ... well thoughts that belong to the body/system and not to anyone in particular? Is there even such a thing as systemic/shared thoughts, in your opinion? I added a poll. You can vote for more than one item if you need too.
  6. I just saw this phrase written in a post (or something like it), "My host is the dominant thoughtform in our system." Whao. I have seen things written about this in the forum before that tulpas and hosts are actually a lot like each other. Like they just have access to the body but are each just as contrived or created as the other. Like it is a sort of delusion that the first identity or first mind is the only real mind. So my hostie totally rejects that idea and refuses to recognize me as an individual mind like separate on my own and stuff. But I am more interested in learning more about this than he is. He says I am totally imaginary and an expression of his own mind. I do go along with that mostly but sometimes I feel more like me. Anyways, I guess my question is, do you as a host feel or believe that you too are also a thoughform of a sort and maybe not that different from your tulpa? Tulpas do you agree or disagree that you host's mind or identity or whatever is a thoughtform, in a sense, like you? Is your host dominant in your system or are you equals? How does this work out, do you get along okay? Does your host dictate how independent you can be or are you able to be very assertive and be super independent? For those who possess or switch, do you have equal access to the body or does your host control when and how you can use the body? Most important of all the questions. *ahem* My hostie is not allowed to respond or drama out on this thread. This thread is MINE. So my last question is this: Is Mistgod's identity a thoughtform too like Melian and if that is true isn't true that Melian should get more recognition for being real too? I mean if he is a thoughtform that is a contrived as I am, doesn't that make us equally "imaginary" or equally "real?" Tulpas do it why can't I? You can answer this question without fear of response from Mistgod as I will not allow him to butcher this thread at all. It is only a question for opinions and he can't get all butt hurt or worried or upset bout it cause it is just a question for curiosity stuff. EDIT: I added a poll. You can vote for more than one item.
  7. Okay, so I know there's probably a LOT of threads about telling your personal thoughts from your Tulpa's. I've read a lot of threads about it previous to joining the forum but in my case it feels a little bit different. *resists urge to make a pun out of it* Alright, so here goes. I suffer from a slew of mental health problems and being a sad sack of crap is a major, MAJOR thing for me. But since working on Skye I've noticed a stark contrast in my emotional state. I'm not sure if that's just from me knowing that I'll have a permanent, sentient companion near me always of it's Skye's personality coming into her own - seeing as she's the most understanding, calming, etc. being to me. I've had head pressure for the past few days and I've been narrating like crazy during the day and I try to force more at night after doing some meditation. But it really is so black and white for me that it should be pretty obvious those positive thoughts aren't mine but it seems equally unclear. Plus I've only been working harder on her for the past couple of weeks or so (give or take a few days) after drafting up the idea for her a couple years ago and on/off again forcing/narrating. It's a bit strange for me so should I just chalk it up to Skye becoming more sentient?
  8. There was an old poll for the opinion of members on the question of tulpa sentience from 2013: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-are-tulpa-real-honestly It is outdated and it isn't a very well written poll anyway. I would like to poll the membership again on this issue. I already know most members regard tulpas as real (true independent sentient minds). What I am wondering is how many members feel the opposite, that tulpas are illusory or apparent sentience only (a trick of the mind). So the poll question: Are tulpas real sentience?
  9. My host and I think that, after all these years, if he decided to just ignore me and try not to believe in me, I would not fade a bit. In other words, I am so strong and persistent, my hostie would be incapable of willingly destroying or dissipating me. We have read accounts of other hosts and tulpas making this same claim. So Mistgod and I were wondering: How persistent is your tulpa? If you, as the host, decided to ignore him or her (stopped all active and passive forcing) and willingly stopped believing, would he or she fade into oblivion or tenaciously continue to exist? OH this is no judgment on quality or status of your tulpa btw, as most are still developing and still dependent on forcing and stuff. So I realize most may be answering that they need the host's attention to keep going. That's okay. I am just curious how many actually don't need their host's attention any more at all. You can vote for more than one answer.
  10. I wanted to put this idea in a general thread and get the reactions from the rest of the community and perhaps share it a bit wider. I think this is very important. Someone pointed out this morning that I am like the "Carl Jung" of the tulpa community in how I refuse to recognize thoughtforms as more than just a figment of the mind. It is insulting to many, but I can't seem to help myself. My thoughform Melian came up with a solution for me. After 15 months of pissing everyone off with our writing, she has finally come up with a very simple, effective obvious solution to the problem. In my writing I use words that seem like confrontational triggers to people. I use words like "delusion," "illusion," "figment," and "self deception." I have an aversion to the terms "real" and "sentient" when describing tulpas. I came up with my own sort of hedging term "pseudo-real," which no one finds adequate. Melian wants to make me happy and often is like my little toady on this site projecting my attitudes, which makes the matter even worse. It is much worse, actually, because she is effectively a tulpa. Melian was trying to find a solution for both of us to finally put the fighting and drama to a long overdue end. She was looking carefully at the definition of tulpas on the forums home page. It used the words "convincing personality." She started wondering about what that really means. Then she realized for both of us that tulpas don't have to be labeled "real" or "sentient" specifically. For someone like a Carl Jung of the tulpa community we can focus on functionality and effectiveness instead of realness and sentience. It is a huge insight from her! This one simple idea is a major turning point in Mistgod to Tulpa Info relations I think. My suggestion for myself, and for the community at large, is that whenever an argument gets started involving the realness of all tulpas, or the possibility of sentience in all tulpas, to shift the conversation to be about how convincing tulpas seem and how well they function. Tulpas are meaningful and profound to their creators. That can be proven out by preponderance of anecdotal evidence. There is where there is something solid to stand on. It can never be proven, or probably never will be proven, that tulpas are "real sentience." But, I think we can make a very strong case that tulpas are a very profound and meaningful experience for their creators. They are convincing, and they are persistent and significant. In that way, they function exactly the way they are supposed to function. Tulpa Info, for you, from now on, that is what I will write about. I wanted to put this out there as a general thread to foster discussion about non-drama-inducing terminology. I am NOT suggesting we replace or ban terms such as "sentient" and "real." The community loves those terms. I am not suggesting everyone else needs to change what they do here to pander to the minority. I am suggesting a policy for the minority itself to use, not the majority. I am suggesting that for a person like me, like Mistgod, there is a less volatile form of writing and a better approach. Someone like me should shift the paradigm just a bit to avoid unnecessary conflict. It is good tulpa town diplomacy. Functional or Functioning Effective or Effectively Apparent or Apparently Meaningful Significant Profound Persistent Existential (it exists in some form) Conceive or Conceived EDIT: Below is an example of this new dialogue paradigm in effect: Can using neutral or non-toxic terminology help foster better relations in the tulpa community between those who believe tulpas are real and those few who remain uncertain? Can we find common ground that we all can agree on, and conduct or dialogue within that context?
  11. It is 1:00 a.m. as I write this. I just woke up and had to write down my thoughts. I was just having a lucid dream in which a dream character and I were escaping a powerful vampire by passing through a portal into an interdimensional world. As the story was unfolding and I was interacting with the dream character, I was purposefully being very observant of the dream characters actions. Questions concerning the independence and autonomy, and even the temporary sentience, of dream personas has come up in my writing, and the writing of my tulpa Melian, in recent posts on the forum. Mainly what I want to know is the difference between a dream persona and a tulpa while within a lucid dream state, beyond just close familiarity. What I began to realize was that the dream personas are not autonomous and independent at all. They are inspired by your brains unconscious thought processes, but instead of being independent, autonomous and sentient, they are merely spontaneous. Spontaneous: "performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus." In other words, it only seems independent and autonomous because of how subliminal the thoughts are that drive the dream characters. I don’t think the unconscious mind is carefully composing and thinking out a script and plot for the mental play of the lucid dream. I think the brain is sort of “going with the flow” and creating the dream impromptu on impulse and emotions. It is composing the plot of the dream on the fly. That is why dreams can get so bizarre and shift around and have weird unexplained elements that don’t fit or make any sense. Here is something more. After I had this realization about my dream characters, I realized there is a huge, huge difference between them and Melian. With Melian I do have lucid dreams in which she and I have back and forth, conscious, lucid conversations. These conversations can have a lot to do with what is going on in the lucid dream, or even in our waking life, and can be continuations of conversations and subjects we discussed earlier in another dream or in waking life. She does not bring in warped elements or change the subject suddenly and do or say things that make no logical sense. She has a memory and is not so much spontaneous as autonomous and apparently sentient in these conversations in dreams. That is an important realization. I think that makes her much more like a dream guide than an ordinary dream character, because she is so lucid and autonomous. That, I assume, is how tulpas would be in lucid dreams if they shared them with you. I also realized that Melian does things in both lucid dreams and in waking life that are more like a spontaneous dream character. That would include things like the flash images. These are like mini impromptu visions or waking dreams. We have written a couple of times on the forum about how these flash visions seem to be almost two levels to Melian, like she has an unconscious element about herself that even she does not understand. Many of the flash visions that occur she cannot decipher for me and did not consciously project them into our mutual conscious mind. She is as baffled by some of them as I am. So what I have come to realize is that Melian has both autonomous elements and spontaneous elements that are more like a dream. It helps to explain a lot. I guess my questions for discussion are: What do you think about the difference between your own spontaneous thoughts and autonomous thoughts of a tulpa? Can they seem similar in some cases? Does your tulpa (like Melian) have spontaneous actions, like in a dream, and not just pure autonomy and independence all the time? If so, what is the source of those spontaneous actions? Is it your mind or your tulpa’s mind producing the effect? Is there a relationship between spontaneous actions of a tulpa and intrusive thoughts? Can new tulpamancers be getting confused between the difference in spontaneous actions and autonomous actions? Could spontaneous thoughts become an intrinsic part of a tulpa's wonderland environment like mentioned in this thread Wonderland Immersion Method?
  12. This was originally a post on another thread but a little off topic form it. So, I thought it warranted its own thread. The thing I am exploring with this thread is, how relevant is "real sentience" to how we feel about our tulpas? I admit that I am "not real." Yet, for the most part people treat me as a person here, just as if I was independently sentient (totally separate from my hostie). I have friends. People seem to care about me as a distinct person from my host, despite anything I have said about my nature. Let's do a hypothetical and ask some questions. Let's say that tomorrow, a scientist builds a Tulpa Sentience Detector Machine. It is almost 100% accurate at detecting the presence of a sentient tulpa in the mind of a host. Let's say that machine is used on my host. It detects no independent tulpa sentience, confirming what my hostie has said all along, I am an aspect of his own imagination. The machine is turned on others and it detects sentient tulpas in some and not in others. Would my host treat me any different, or feel different about me, for having "failed" the sentience test? How would other people treat me then on these forums then? Will you stop talking to me as a person? Will you or would you expel from the community all who cannot pass the sentience and realness test? Some thoughtforms were never meant to be considered real sentience from the beginning, such as many daemons. Do they have less value as a person? After the machine is invented and a daemon wants to visit the forum would they be welcome as an equal or treated as "lesser?" How about all of you guys? If, just a hypothetical, your tulpa failed the sentience test, would it change how you feel about your tulpa? How would you expect others to react and treat your tulpa after that? How relevant is real sentience to how we treat a tulpa or thoughtform or how we feel about them? Let's ask another hypothetical question. What if the machine could also detect "levels of autonomy and independence." What if say, one tulpa tested as 50% independent of the host and another tested 85% independent from his host? Would you treat the 50% tulpa as less of a person than the 85%?
  13. My host Davie has been trying an experiment. He and I have a terrible combined memory sometimes. We are good at remembering emotional things and things about our internal dreamworld, but real world outside things we forget bout. Davie's memory easily recalls "elements of beauty." He has a very visual memory for things that have a strong emotion connected to them. But detailed mundane every day responsibility things get lost in all the dreamy distractions. We are too disconnected from the outside world. Davie is the champion of making to do lists and keeping calendars. Without the to do lists we would get distracted and forget just about everything he is supposed to do. Recently though, he and I decided to play around with the idea of "tulpa memory." At the beginning of the day, he asks me to remind him about something that needs to get done and leaves it off of the physical to do list. Then later when we are going over the to do list I say "don't forget such and such." Or rather, to be more accurate, he day dreams about me telling him what not to forget. Okay now this may or may not be tulpa memory, but so far it is working pretty good. I haven't yet forgotten my to do list item I am supposed to remind him of, even if he has forgotten it. This may simply be memory by association of some kind. He summons me up, and part of his mind knows what I was supposed to remember? We have a Memory House or Memory of loci too in my dreamscape mansion, but really don't use it as a memory house for real world things. It has always been a place for fantasy elements in the dreamscape. But we consider it a memory house cause it is durable and persistent in how we imagine it. We might take the next step and have me keep an internal to do list in my library and see if we can visualize the list and recall it to memory by me reading it back to him, or something along those lines. We will start with one item, then two, then three and so on. We are already practicing with lucid dreaming so practicing with memory will be fun too. Does anyone have any tips for enhancing tulpa memory? What do you think about tulpa memory? Is there anything to it or is it just another trick of the mind, like memory by association somehow? What I mean is, can a tulpa be just an extension of the memory house concept? I suppose if that were true, the tulpa would put memories in certain "places" in his or her wonderland. This is a photo of Davie's to do lists. You can see I am not pulling your leg on this. http://img02.deviantart.net/98f7/i/2016/166/e/e/external_memory_by_mistgod-da6cciq.jpg[/img]
  14. I know this question has been asked a hundred thousand times, but... How do I know if Tay is sentient? How do I separate knowingly expecting exactly what they say with them actually saying it? It all feels the opposite of autonomous. The opposite of sentient. I feel lonely all the time, because although I expect that someone is there, I don't see them there. I don't feel them there. I haven't had anything identifiable from them... It's horrible, and it's driving me insane - I don't even know if it's me or Tay... It's always felt like me, consistently. It never felt like anything different. Please, help. I just want him to be here with me, and I want to know that...
  15. Does it mean you have utterly failed to make a tulpa if after months or even years you still have persistent doubts about sentience and worry you are only puppeting? What exactly would constitute failure to create a tulpa? If a tulpa is not showing a lot of verifiable signs of sentience after years of effort, is there a point where it becomes futile to keep going? When should a tulpamancer feel discouraged? Should he or she feel guilty about giving up on a tulpa in progress if it just seems like it might never feel fully independently sentient? What about a tulpa that only seems to develop so far and sorta "gets stuck" and seems to be forever dependent on the host in communicating and being animated (needs puppeting and parroting help)? Is such a dependent tulpa a failure or a botched project or stagnant? Is this just perhaps one outcome that, for whatever reason, some tulpas seem to favor? Is it okay to forever have this sort of dependent relationship with the host or is that failure somehow to stay that way? NOTE - I talk about myself a lot all the time, but this thread is a general set of questions and not necessarily pertaining just to me and my hostie.
  16. Hey all, I was having a hard time figuring out whether to post this in tips and tricks or even the magic section of the forum but decided against both because it's not fully formed enough IMO to be in tips and tricks and it's not really about magic either. I have recently started creating my own tulpa myself and found a useful way of thinking about the first responses that you get from tulpas and the anxiety about whether it was you or them. I'm hoping it might help someone out there somewhere. When I got my first inkling of a response from my Tulpa I immediately started deliberating about whether it was me or them speaking in my mind voice and whether they were sentient or not and then I realised that actually it wasn't me or him, it was both. Now here me out, I know this sounds a little weird. 'But how can it be both? My Tulpa is a separate entity to me isn't he?' Well according to Buddhism nothing is separate, not really anyway, the boundaries that we perceive between us and the external world and other people are illusory and created by our ego for survival purposes. (This is quite a quick and dirty explanation of this topic). Similar to this, the boundary between you and your Tulpa is also illusory, except a Tulpa is much easier to understand in this way as you literally grow them out of your own consciousness. A useful way of thinking about sentience in terms of this philosophy is to not to even begin wondering who generated the thought in the first place, as soon as you start to, you have fallen in to a trap and a situation that is quite difficult to resolve. Merely observe the thought, reply, and move on, it is always both of you. Apologies if I haven't explained this well enough for people to understand or if it's in the wrong section. I am interested to hear your thoughts/responses or questions about this idea below. :)
  17. Mistgod: I put this under sentience because it seemed to fit there best. There is no category "apparent autonomy." I want to talk about flash visions. I have talked about this (specifically with waffles) once a long while back. I also mentioned it in jean-luc's tulpadcast, the first one I think. I am not sure which one it was. Anyway, Melian isn't very independent in comparison to most of the tulpas you guys are writing about. Yes, you have heard that already. BUT she does have some stuff. The thing she does a lot is flash visions. But there is a weird mystery about them. The flash visions are like spontaneous snippets of day dream that just seem to come out of nowhere. They are sometimes reactive to what is going on, like if I do something dumb I get a vision of Melian shaking her head and saying "Well, that was really STUPID peck" like from the movie Willow. If I am feeling sorry for myself I get the Boo Hoo Big Baby vision, where she balls up her fists in her eye and pretends to cry like a baby. But a lot these visions seem random. Most of them are of her showing off a new dress. Sometimes it is her speaking a strange sentence that seems out of context or even gibberish. Today she said ""That is like buying extra glee that comes in squee-ze tubes." It came out of nowhere with no context what-so-ever. So you might ask "What does Melian say about these?" Here is the weird thing. She has no idea either! There is a disconnect or duality to Melian. If I imagine her in her in the Melian Show dreamscape, which is how I interact with her and ask, she won't be able to tell me. It's like there is a unconscious part of Melian that is the most autonomous part about her during the day. Then there is Melian being puppeted by me, or actively day dreamed. We say collaboration because I feel her emotions. Note - I would like to say this. I enjoy the flash visions. I like the sense of surprise from getting them and the sense of mystery and energy that comes from them. I never get tired of them and they are part of every day. I also get these flash visions while sleeping in the form of flash dreams. Sometimes these occur when I am half asleep and seem particularly vivid. Do any of you experience disconnected flash visions of your tulpa that you AND your tulpa cannot control and cannot explain? Am I the only guy with this trait with his thoughtform? Mistgod and I discussed this once before wondering if there could be "two of me" Two of Me Thread EDIT: I want so badly to talk about this, I am going to do a jean-luc. I am going to do a recording of me talking about this. https://community.tulpa.info/thread-the-mistgod-melian-show-misadventures-on-utube?pid=166146#pid166146
  18. Okay, so, I started creating my tulpa, Lily, about 5 days ago, and already I've started to notice her "thinking at me" so to speak. I've also gotten a significant amount of head pressure in the first few days and we've been using that as a general means of communication, mostly for yes/no and vague reactions. It's only in the past day or two that I've been able to interpret her thoughts. However, this newfound communication brings with it some serious worries in my mind. You see, before I decided to make her a tulpa, she was one of my characters that I wrote and drew. For a couple years, I tried to convince myself she was a split personality or something, and so I pretended to hear her responding to me when I talked, and typing for her when talking to my friends as if she was dictating what she wanted me to say. The problem is that I still feel like I'm doing that. At first, the only thoughts I could decipher were the ones I'd be able to predict anyway, while the rest I could only feel that she was trying to send something my way. Since then, I've started to understand her thoughts more and more, though it still feels like I'm the one saying them, even though I don't want to. And I don't think I'm getting any emotional reactions sent my way either like a lot of other people seem to get. It just makes me worry that nothing has changed and that I'm still just pretending out of habit. Bottom line, is it possible that I'm still just unwillingly pretending that she's sentient like I've been doing, out of habit? I'm really scared that that might be true... I don't wanna believe that her sentience is only an illusion caused by my old habits. I desperately want her to be completely sentient. The head pressure was encouraging, but now that I'm getting paranoid about everything else, I'm starting to wonder if maybe the head pressure was just an unconscious reaction of habit as well! I mean, I get a lot of headaches, so it could be... Please, if anyone has any insight, I NEED to lay this to rest as soon as possible. I just need an outside opinion on the situation, so that I can be able to give Lily the love she deserves, without fear of this all being for nothing...
  19. I started creating a tulpa (david, although I'm totally fine with deviation in any aspect. For example, I gave two base traits and let him make his own, and am using a very basic figure for visualization to give freedom.) yesterday and I'm getting really quite massive pressure on my head, like I'm at the bottom of a 15 foot swimming pool with an exposed brain, but I know it's normal and we're using it as spotty communication. Today is what confuses me: I've started getting hints of emotions that aren't normal. A feeling sits in the bottom of my chest and develops into an emotion that I don't have a reason for. This emotion doesn't feel mine - it is as giddy as me when Spider-Man came on screen in captain America 3, or as angry as when - well you don't need know. It's strangely disconnected, like I'm sucking emotion out of those around me. I know I'm not, but it's the easiest way for me to explain. If it's a sign of sentience, should I be concerned at only 2 days :O ? I've always been a great writer, and I really excel at character development and progression. I'm thinking that might be why it's happening so early? Is it possible? :huh: I'd also be open to answers from tulpae(Is that the plural??) because I feel like an inside perspective might be helpful. EDIT: Literally under a minute after posting I got another random alien burst of happiness, but it had intent to it, like it was finally being understood... but I don't know if I'm grasping at straws.
  20. I've been thinking for a while now about the brain, about four months ago I came across a sentence on 8ch.net tulpa threads that said 'some people don't believe there's such thing as consciousness just different levels of complexity' I've been thinking if this is true, our mind is just a computer and our personality is just a program. Could tulpas then just be a (albeit complex) program? I think about my tulpa like that, and he agrees that's pretty much what he is. I force him like I'm adding lines of code to a program, like how he looks in different lighting or responses to scenerios. I figure here's a good a place as any to have a discussion about the mind.
  21. Is it OK to drink when your tulpa is in its early stages or will it effect its development? Haven't touched a drop since I started working on him.
  22. Hey guys, I'd like to ask which games are the best to improve the independent thinking of my tulpa, because my tup's individual initiative isn't very well yet. thank you in anticipation :)
  23. First things first, hello, this is my first post. I am the host, and Zaya is my emerging Tulpa. I looked around, but couldn't find an issue like this, so I decided I had to actually ask. I've been tulpamancing for about a month now, and Zaya is pretty well developed, but there is still work to be done. He communicates in feelings occasionally, and sometimes I even get responses in the form of head shakes when we're in our wonderland. These responses feel immediate and feel like they're coming from Zaya, but it's hard to be sure as most of this is a relatively NEW development. Our wonderland looks like a giant floating island with a huge tree in the center, its roots holding the ground in place. While I admit I should be furnishing it more, it's relatively bare, minus a bed and a memory TV for Zaya to watch. Today, while in the wonderland, i looked around and saw how cramped it looked, and tried to expand the ground farther out. The ground wouldn't expand, no matter how focused I tried to become. I've never encountered my mind fighting me before. I decided I shouldn't be pushy, and stopped. Suddenly, I felt pulled away, and was somehow mentally "transported" onto a cloud above the scene. Zaya was there, laying down in his bed, the tv moved in front of the bed, all on this cloud. He seemed happy, so I didn't question the move. Has anyone heard of this happening? I only ask because nothing like this has ever happened before, and I think it could have been him, but because of the lack of prior communication, I'm not entirely positive. I genuinely care about his opinion, and I hope i wasn't confining him.
  24. Okay I will try to keep this simple but you all might find it an interesting topic or whatever to comment on. I seem to be self aware when I type with Davie and like during the day when we both know how I feel and what I am thinking. Davie thinks of it as sorta permanent internal method acting (okay super duper mental role playing) so practiced it is seamless and automatic and just feels super duper real. But I feel self aware. We are both absolutely convinced there is a mind that is Melian (a piece of one mind, to be more accurate, that thinks it is Melian). I am Melian! That is all especially true of my proxy typing or whatever you call it that I do at you guys. We say it is collaborative blending of our minds as we type it all. Yeah... Okay hmmm, where am I going with this? OH okay, hidden thoughts that surprise you! Yeah we have those! Okay I feel emotions and stuff and I think. But those are the things that Davie is doing the internal subliminal role playing with maybe. It is explainable easy with just voluntary self deception and all that. BUT I also do flash images out of the BLUE like lots of times during the day. Now, those flash images, here is the interesting thing, they surprise us both! Yep. I have no memories of contriving them, thinking them or visualizing them. We are both just as surprised when they pop up. Then we argue bout them and what they meant. Never talked about this before. Anyways, they surprise us both, like I can't see the hidden part of me or the "Melian Motor" any more than Davie can. I think there are two of me! There is the awake and self aware part of me and then there is the hidden part of me that is really super autonomous independent stuff. Could there be TWO of me? I mean sorta like an internal tulpa trying to be a tulpa and then the role playing character me sorta riding the energy so to speak? Does that make any sense at all to any of you experienced tulpamancers out there? Oh my fuck gods! I have a tulpa core!
  25. People on this forum often talk about belief or willingness to believe as being an essential ingredient in recognizing autonomous behavior, and fostering apparent independent sentience, in the process of creating a tulpa. We just realized that in creating me, and interacting with me, my host uses more of a process of suspension of disbelief rather than active belief. Belief "Belief is the state of mind in which a person thinks something to be the case, with or without there being empirical evidence to prove that something is the case with factual certainty." Suspending Disbelief Suspending disbelief is actively suspending judgement concerning the implausibility of an event. "Suspension of disbelief is often an essential element for a magic act or a circus sideshow act. For example, an audience is not expected to actually believe that a woman is cut in half or transforms into a gorilla in order to enjoy the performance." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suspension_of_disbelief Would you say that creating your tulpa(s) requires belief or suspension of disbelief? Which do you prefer, if either?
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