NotQuiteSkeptical May 30, 2013 May 30, 2013 EDIT: This lasted from about, 9 untill about 10:30, then just, went. I've tried asking Crystal if it was her but cant understand the responces well enough. Any input would still be appreciated. ---------------- Ok, So I have been forcing for just over a week now (Not long I know) and something weird has happened. I'm not sure if it's Tulpa related, so here it is: maybe somebody can shed some light on it. The past two days I have been having terrible forcing sessions: I cant focus, I cant hold a wonderland in my mind and I keep thinking of completly random things. This morning, after another such session, I felt pretty bad. Not terrible, just, a bit dissapointed? I cant seem to make any contact with Crystal, even after some small sucesses early on: It's like i've gone backwards. But the real issue is that about an hour later, on my way into work, I was hit by what I can only describe as a massive wave of depression. To put this into context: I have a good life, a decent job (I dont love it but its not that bad.) and i'm not prone to depression or anything like that. I have a pretty good life. At one point, I actually felt so miserable (again, for no reason) it actually made me feel physically sick. Since I havent felt this way... for the best part of five years at least, I figure it's possible Tulpa related. My theories are: 1. Emotional response: Crystal is just as unhappy about our lack of any form of progress as I am, and I can feel it. 2. Emotional response: Crystal is learning how to trigger emotional responses and just picked an unfortunate emotion. (Can that happen?) 3: I'm just a lot more down about things than I let myself believe. 4: Something completly unrelated and i'm just graspting at straws. So, any ideas that might put my mind at ease anyone? "Do I fear death? Absolutely, only because it's disappointing. Life is so amazing to witness and be a part of. If I could live until the stars die and the universe goes cold, I would do it just because I want to know how the story unfolds and if it actually ends at all or we keep finding a way."
NotQuiteSkeptical May 31, 2013 Author May 31, 2013 Many thanks, I think I just threw myself off is all. I'm going to give your advice a go and see if things go any easier. Much appreciated! "Do I fear death? Absolutely, only because it's disappointing. Life is so amazing to witness and be a part of. If I could live until the stars die and the universe goes cold, I would do it just because I want to know how the story unfolds and if it actually ends at all or we keep finding a way."
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