Nocturnal Shiver Journal

[NocturnalShiver]

Hello! I'm Salem we started tulpamancy at the end of last month and we are going to track our progress from now on. Honestly i'm a bit anxious about it buut here we go! (-> Nerd stuff -> i chose nocturnal shiver as our system names since a group of sharks is a shiver and i think its fun djdjd). This is a Pr for whatever systemey stuff comes our way. Ive already had some knowlege after browsing the tulpa subreddit so its kinda been easish.

The Journey So Far;
From then until now; Verosika was easy to make since i did base her off of well Verosika from Helluva Boss, and i gave her traits and stuff i think that would be comfortable to start out with! too also since i wasnt sure about making a tulpa without a base form to go off of since its also more comfortable to have characters ive seen before although she may deviate! 

Ive been working on remembering her traits and compartmentalizing them into her most times while we force, and lately in addition to a head pressure ive got before she now has a stronger presense.

Also Some Vocalization came a bit earlish not too much until further in dev and i started to amp up my attention to her so its been interesting so far. Also she does help me with my anxienty and mental health quite a bit so far too.

I also made Vero a playlist she can add to!

Goal List;

These are our goals; were mostly focusing on Visualizeation, Vocalizeation, and building habits these are our starting goals for now to sortof have a plan even though i dont need it its something for me to go back to.

Nothing too much more than the stuff we have on it already but well probably add onto the list as time goes on and we find we can take on more goals and stuff todo with tulpamancy. and the list stuff is subject to change

Edited July 21, 2024 by NocturnalShiver

[NocturnalShiver]

Visualizeation

Main goal ive figured out: 
I want to get to a point where i can visualize Vero on Command at any point easily somewhat.

My Visualizeation prerequesete:
Its slightly easier to visualize with my eyes open me and my wonderland and Verosika with a black void because I have done a thing ;
where i listen to music and I pace before and i just Visualize while i walk and also paying attention my surroundings a bit. Ive sortof have practiced this alot out of the tulpa context for example; i have in the past went for a whole day pacing and visualizing to music (music blocking out my main hearing sense so i can focus on visualizeation). Or I even have used music and pacing in the past to talk to the void as a form of self therapy/Self sootheing. 

I want to try to do that with Vero eventually, also while sitting down. Though I do want to get good at a sortof meditation Visualizeation with my eyes closed.

I wont be making a wonderland so far im planning to do it in august or september. I just want to focus on Verosika.

Stuff ive learned: 
Visualizeation so far with Vero is quite it feels like exercizing since i havent done a whole lot of visualizeation recently for imaginating stuff. Also i havent done it before with another being in my mind so there is that too.

I'm Also trying to do it with my eyes closed first so i could have a good building block of it and her in my mind where i can get her to a point where shes vivid enough and stable in form enough to force with my eyes open, even though i do not need to do that i want to make sure i have a good foothold on her form. Since ive just started practicing Visualizeation again.

Since Vero goes between Fuzzy and non-fuzzy in the headspace for her form since im pretty practiced with visualizeation already its slightly difficult, ive gotten her presense attached to it which is good, but i need it to stableize and be sortof easy to visualize. Like i can visualize a pop can in full detail but not her since its more difficult and my visualizeation before without tulpas was more broad and less focused on one single moving entity and more focused on composition and the people there in a vauge sense. Without imagineing any of the 5 senses exept sight.

I think I will try image streaming later, since i view image streaming more as a crutch in a way to aid with visualizeation.

Ive been smell imagining while forcing her, and touch while in the imagineation to make her seem more real to my mind i guess of what i can explain of it asking her if its okay to touch her hair or arms. And hear imagineing for like some sortof realisim in the void is going as far as footsteps while she walks or talks at the small vocalizeation level she is at now. taste is i can tasteing smells is what i feel comfortable with, so vanilla perfume mmm vanilla with a rubbing alcohol twinge.

I'm just going to have to do the Visualizeation and Focus on her since its all i really can do other than to try to get her form to be more vivid in my mind. Theres probably a bit more to it to help it get more running. To spend time with her and really imprint her form and everything in my mind. So I can interact with her easier and on a more frequent basis.

[Somnalchemist]

It's good that you have concrete goals and a timeline. That goes a long way towards ordering your thoughts. I can say that meditations are a huge tool for me personally. I tend to do infrequent "deep dives" and make a jump in progress, then let it calm down for a few weeks/months before trying again. It helps the insights sink in and rationalize, which is a big priority for me. Do what works for you, though; it's your head.

 

As for visualization in general, I've found that it helps to pick one aspect and focus on getting it clear, then moving onto the rest. The idea is that by doing the "heavy lifting" in parts, your brain will find an effective shortcut on its own. Think of it like learning to draw: you start by drawing the basic shapes and reference lines until you know where the different parts go and can do it freehand. Then you practice line work and profiles until they stop being parts and become a cohesive whole (the line of the eye is also the line of the nose, which is also the lip, etc. A lot of cartoonists have videos where they speed draw popular characters if you need it).

 

But I'm not an expert either, I started June 1. Good luck and have fun.

[NocturnalShiver]

 

1 hour ago, Somnalchemist said:

It's good that you have concrete goals and a timeline. That goes a long way towards ordering your thoughts. I can say that meditations are a huge tool for me personally. I tend to do infrequent "deep dives" and make a jump in progress, then let it calm down for a few weeks/months before trying again. It helps the insights sink in and rationalize, which is a big priority for me. Do what works for you, though; it's your head.

 

Yeah i find it easy to complete what i want to do with things when i set goals alot of the time! Ooh, I think I will try Ihat sometime since Deep dives sound like it would be fun to do andd helpful to try something else out. I have alot of freetime so i have alot of time to spend on tulpa stuff so i might try it more intensively mayhaps? But im currently writing small notes down as i go along and am trying to figure it out along the way since stumbling into stuff is learning kinda.

 

Quote

As for visualization in general, I've found that it helps to pick one aspect and focus on getting it clear, then moving onto the rest. The idea is that by doing the "heavy lifting" in parts, your brain will find an effective shortcut on its own. Think of it like learning to draw: you start by drawing the basic shapes and reference lines until you know where the different parts go and can do it freehand. Then you practice line work and profiles until they stop being parts and become a cohesive whole (the line of the eye is also the line of the nose, which is also the lip, etc. A lot of cartoonists have videos where they speed draw popular characters if you need it).

I will think of it like that since that does make alot of sense and it seems intutive to do it thank way to focus on different aspects. I think I will start with the face as i go along with it since facial communication and speech i think is a good starting point and how it is built. Thenn ill go to the other parts of her body. then focusing more on hair tail snd other smaller details! and trying to attach the perception she is real and in the "headspace" with me also with her presense during it since it has helped me alot so far.

Thank you for your tips on the visualisation stuff! i hope you have luck and fun with your journey as well.

[Somnalchemist]

I'll let Alan Watts here explain the concept. His lectures are fun to check out, I was introduced to him by the game Everything on Steam. I'll skip over my personal metaphysics and say that it's a good frame of mind to get messages that don't feel like they came from you, which is handy for getting in touch with a tulpa. For me, they feel like a gut instinct: no words, memories, or emotion attached to them, and they are usually symbolic and take some time afterwards to sort out, and even then only partially. You can get spiritual with this stuff, but I suggest you take whatever you get with a grain of salt. There's a lot to lose in translation, and you'll miss the point of the exercise if you take it at face value and stay rigid with it.

 

 

 

 

 

[NocturnalShiver]

13 hours ago, Somnalchemist said:

I'll let Alan Watts here explain the concept. His lectures are fun to check out, I was introduced to him by the game Everything on Steam. I'll skip over my personal metaphysics and say that it's a good frame of mind to get messages that don't feel like they came from you, which is handy for getting in touch with a tulpa. For me, they feel like a gut instinct: no words, memories, or emotion attached to them, and they are usually symbolic and take some time afterwards to sort out, and even then only partially. You can get spiritual with this stuff, but I suggest you take whatever you get with a grain of salt. There's a lot to lose in translation, and you'll miss the point of the exercise if you take it at face value and stay rigid with it.

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you!! i'll give it a watch

[NocturnalShiver]

Helloo! Small update on what i want to do with this journal + some stuff; every saturday or when i feel its appriopriate starting next week i will give a week in review of how forcing and tulpa development goes. + ill add some goals in review and development points and new goals if i wanted to.

I've also started to meditate again it was supposed to be next month i would start a regular practice but i decided to get into it right now since i did remember if i enter different brainwave states.
(the two ones i want to get into are Alpha and Theta brainwave states due to you can get more out of creative stuff out of Theta and you can get more out of general thoughts with Alpha; so i think they'll probably help with visualizeation & vocality if i try to get to them through meditation on a regular basis. Also the added benfit of increased focus which when forcing i do think i really need it!)

I'm used to meditation and it has been the first while ive meditated since i did it at the start of the year and some years before my first two sessions were around 19 minutes & 26 minutes for a base line without being a strict "i will meditate for 5 minutes only" since i find timing my sessions i get more out of meditation without having to wait for an alarm though if i did id set it for 30 it felt really good to do it again.

Now i just have to keep up the habit.

I find it does work really well and helps me visualize Vero more which is my goal like ive said before to get her form down before we build a proper wonderland. While visualizing Verosika even though we have nothing to do in the headspace its nice to talk there we can even enerate items like guitars and such from it. The tip for focusing on one part of her has helped alot too !
I often ask her to turn around for me or spin, or if i could touch her hair or skin or clothes just to feel she is there along with the other senses exept taste, with the mindset everything i hear and see from verosika is real. Even though i do have doubts i think its osmething that will go away with time i think. I also try to make sure we will make some progress on her development each forcing session.
Ive made alot of progress since when i first started visualizeing esp with using the tip just to visualize one part of her at a time. her outfits change but i think thats just her wanting to change things up. But im having an easier time with getting her form to be solid although still slightly difficult its about repition and i have a crap ton of freetime so hopefully things will go smoothly. 

Aside from visualizeation progress whenever i go to listen to music she seems to sustain herself a bit and asks to listen to bbno$ or kendrik lamar, she has yet to listen to other rap artists like eminem and brockhampton. Music has become a regular part of our forcing sessions! Im not that privy to Rap but I do listen to rap with her since she wants to, im getting used to the rap. She also seems to want to make music and get a aucoustic guitar for when she can possess the body or front which I will have that as another future goal maybe ill ask my mom for one for christmas. Vocalizeation has improved greatly i can hear her clearly just by talking to her and listening ive gotten here just through repitiition! though talking in depth in alot of sentences needs work. Plus she seems to change her mindvoice alot. Maybe i should take just talking in forcing sessions into consideration. Or doing exersizes and maybe co-writing a story with her.

This is pretty much all for now theres not too much else to report on other than all of this so far.