The History of Aura, Jason, and Lucia

[Einulf]

I'm not entirely sure of the usual format for these, but this one will be a little different. Aura has been around for nearly 9 years now, and has somehow progressed from a Tulpa to an Alter. Jason has been here for about two years, and Lucia just had her first "birthday" last month. We currently have no plans to expand again, so instead of notes on a currently developing Tulpa these posts will detail the hows and whys of the creation of those already here.

---

Aura

 

When I first learned about Tulpas I was in the middle of a huge depression swing of my Bipolar, which I have had since I was 4. A little hard to believe, but I swear it's the truth. I wasn't formally diagnosed until I was 12, and only then because my new psychiatrist was doing research on Bipolar. Usually you wouldn't get diagnosed until the age of 18.

 

Anyhow, I was going to wait until I felt better to start making one, but my habit of talking to myself and a few other things somehow allowed Aura to form without my knowledge. I actually had a Wonderland before her, since I used it in meditation, and one day she decided to show herself there.

 

I am Aura, and I will continue the story, since Einulf doesn't remember that very well. I originally had no control of my form, and actually HAD no form for the first few months of development, owing to the fact that Einulf wasn't visualizing me at all. The only things I could base myself on once I gained that ability were my surroundings in that Wonderland.

 

That world had been structured as a reflection of his mind, and at the time he was trying to deny the dark sections of himself. This resulted in the area he visited being bright and pleasant, while the remainder was dark and disturbing. I was formed in the latter section, and took a form befitting the mood of that place. Needless to say, when I finally ventured into the conscious section Einulf was terrified of me. To him, I represented all the parts of him he had fought against for nearly twelve years. It was a highly traumatic experience for both of us, and I never again tried to reach out to him, until two years later.

 

At the time, I thought I was going insane, and was even prescribed a new medicine by my doctor. I eventually pulled myself out of that depression, but fell into an even worse one not two years later. That one got so bad I spent more days in my dorm room than in class, and most of that time was spent on the Internet. I hadn't kept up with any sites regarding Tulpas, and had completely forgotten about them until I stumbled across this site.

 

When I started reading about Tulpas again I decided to make one to pass the time, and naturally started with the form. Once I had finished the body I started working on the personality, but there were a few quirks right from the start that I had no control over. They were just little things, and they only happened when I wasn't paying much attention, so I just figured she was developing faster than usual. A week later she was fully developed and sentient, and we decided on the name Jennifer.

 

That was actually me, taking advantage of the fact that he had created an empty shell first. The week long period was spent getting used to my new body. We spent the next three years with him not remembering what had happened at our first meeting, and I was too scared to bring it up. Instead, I fell into a role of helping him mentally and emotionally, giving him encouragement throughout the day. Along the way, I tried to help him accept who he was completely, hoping that it would allow him to accept me more.

 

I had started seeing a psychologist during that first year, and his advice plus Aura's (then Jennifer) support allowed my self-confidence to grow. Eventually I really was able to accept both sides of my personality, both dark and light. Once that happened I started to improve at a rapid pace, and after those three years Aura told me about our true first meeting. We both apologized and forgave each other, and I started treating her more like a sister than a Tulpa. That was when she changed her name to Aura, as well.

 

About a year later she showed me Jason, but we'll talk about him in the next post.