wingsorsomething and Elsa

[wingsorsomething]

This progress report is starting just a bit later than most people start theirs...Elsa has been with me for 18 months now. Her name was originally Alyssa, and it got changed somewhere along the line...she's developed, in many ways, into something I never expected. I don't mean that in a bad way, though.

 

At this point, she's fully sentient and very independent. We don't share the same thoughts and feelings and opinions anymore. She sometimes retreats back into my mind on her own for long periods of times. Whatever she has there, whether it's another thoughtform or just a bedroom of her own or whatever it is, it's enough to occupy her for months at a time.

 

We don't know anything like switching or possession, but then again, we've never really tried. She has her own blog and will post on forums and talk with some of my friends over text message, but when we do that, I type for her. She's very introverted, doesn't need to socialize often.

 

She has a stable form now. We have a stable mindscape. Her personality seems to have settled and become only as malleable as any regular person's. I've had dozens of failed thoughtforms before, due to personality clashes and my own personal failures alike. I think this is what a fully mature one feels like, and it's kind of amazing.

 

We're just getting off of a sort of break now. For the past few months, she's been in retreat in whatever place she goes to deep in my mind. I could still feel her presence, but we barely talked. Now she's back and has opened up a little bit more with me. I look forward to whatever we're moving toward from here.

---

I last posted here only about 20 minutes ago, but since then, something kind of amazing has happened. I said in the OP that Elsa has a stable form: the height and shape of her body haven't changed (although she does like to change clothes a lot), but, unfortunately, I've never been able to fully visualize her face.

 

So, just a few minutes ago, while we were shooting the breeze and talking about the day as friends do, I suddenly saw her face, in full detail, crystal-clear for the first time ever. Her hair is also black and straight (it's usually light brown and a little wavy), which I wasn't expecting. She says she did it to look like me.

 

Anyway, I'm really excited about the face development. I can finally get a full image of Elsa, for the first time ever! I had honestly given up on her ever having a real face.

[wingsorsomething]

Anyway, not much has happened since yesterday, mainly because I've been too busy to speak with her. Class, friends, family, they just all get in the way so much. (I'm kidding.)

 

I've thought of a new project that I want to try, though. I've been studying Spanish for a while, and would like to teach Elsa. Now, she can access any knowledge I want to share with her (for instance, she can read even though I never gave her lessons or anything), but I don't know how that's going to work with an entire language.

 

To start with, I'm just going to force with her in Spanish for a little while. I'll see if she starts picking up and replying right away, or if she gets used to it as slowly as I did. I predict that she'll speak just as well (or as poorly) as I do, but as I've never tried anything like this before, it's just a guess.

 

If she does pick up quickly, though, it'll be cool to have a conversational partner in Spanish. Most of my casual interaction right now comes from online.

[Guest Anonymous]

That's quite interesting, actually. I mean, teaching a tulpa a language. I learned a certain language while having my tulpa and it was pretty good to have her then because she assimilated the knowledge directly. Having conversational partners is cool, having that with your tulpa goes as far as improving your bond.

 

Welcome to tulpa.info, by the way.

[wingsorsomething]

Thanks for the welcome, Anderson!

 

I've been in this (the tulpa) community on and off for a little while (for most of it, I was only on the subreddit, which kind of drove me away from it for a little bit), and so far, this forum seems to be a bit better. I look forward to getting to know everyone around here.

[wingsorsomething]

I took Elsa with me when I went out on a bike ride today. It's a whole new way of being productive in two ways at once: getting exercise and forcing at the same time. Especially since I just would've gotten lost in my head anyway.

 

We didn't talk about anything important, mostly just had the pointless back-and-forth banter that all friends have.

 

I took a turn off the beaten path and went into a part of the woods we've never been to before. And man, what we found there was creepy. It was some kids' BMX park thing they must've spend hours digging out back there, but clearly nobody's used it in years. There were old tires, pipes, even a big old CRT monitor all half-buried in the dirt. There was a moldy old mattress propped up against a tree with a bunch of writing on it and drawings. ("Respect the trails. Don't _____." Couldn't read the rest, because the mattress is tattered.")

 

I like to explore the woods, and I've seen some weird stuff before. (Not as strange as this, but close. The abandoned lawnmower can step aside as #1 weirdest thing now.) But this is the first time that she's seen anything like it first-hand. I'm glad she was with me to see it, even though she rushed me out after I took a few pictures, saying that she felt like we'd suddenly become idiots who die in a horror movie. (I teased her about it. The Haunted BMX Thing in the Woods)

 

We didn't really make any progress in terms of forcing, but it brought us a little bit closer together as friends, which is, I think, the most important part of it all anyway.

 

[Also, a note about our language project: I talked to her a little bit in Spanish last night, and she was able to reply to me in Spanish. She's a little hesitant, not quite ready to carry on a full conversation yet, but she's certainly learned a little bit already.]

[wingsorsomething]

So, first update in a while. After seeing some more of the bickering and drama that was going on on this site, we decided to withdraw from it a little bit. But I found that keeping a journal-type thing like this helped, and this is the easiest place to do it. So, I have a very brief progress report.

 

I haven't been forcing nearly as much as I should. I always seem to be busy, tired, or otherwise distracted. We haven't worked at all on Spanish or other skills. However, I still have had the chance to share all sorts of new things with her--New York City, for instance. It's strange, even though she often seems to match my level of maturity, she still isn't as experienced with the world as I am. She knew what the city was like from my memories of it, but seeing it in person shocked her. She'd never seen anything like it before.

 

We've also been discussing making another "tulpa." I've thought of a basic form and personality to give them to work with. But, now that I think about it, that wouldn't be the greatest idea with how little time I have to force lately.

[wingsorsomething]

Still not much progress to report on, but I did want to write a note about appearances. Elsa has a fairly stable form. As in, her body shape, her height, and her face are fixed, at least for the most part. But just about everything else changes. Her clothes and hair seem different every day. I'm not really worried about it, in fact, I think it's a lot of fun to see how she's changed her looks from day to day.

 

Oh, and besides that, she sometimes will change into animals, especially when I'm projecting her into the physical world and there's not much space for a real person. She turns into a black cat with white socks and a red-breasted robin. Neither of these forms has changed in over a year. I'm actually quite proud of us for achieving that amount of stability.