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Eldrazor

Tulpa Creation

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"What an original thread name!" you must be thinking when you stumbled upon this thread.

Anyways, I've decided to create this online blog kind of thing to be able to log my progress so when anything goes wrong/good, future me can learn from it.

 

1

I finally decided today to actually start creating my tulpa, because I had a walk to and fro an empty house and I thought "why not just start now, when I have pretty much noone around me that will be bothered by me talking to myself, and I don't have to be ashamed of myself either".

It was a very interesting experience. At first it felt pretty stupid, just talking to myself. I tried to adjust my attention on a person walking behind me, and it suddenly felt as if there was an actual person behind me. During my continuous talking this feeling went on and off.

It was very relaxing to do this. It felt very much as if I was just able to talk to someone I trusted very much, it was very alike to pouring your heart out to a trusted friend, however, without the fear of negative consequences.

I even felt annoyed when someone walked by, because I had to stop talking to her because I'd rather not have people brand me as insane, because I'm already branded as "odd" by many.

In the end, I feel like I will definitely continue doing this. I'd continue even if it just ment talking to her and never actually hearing something back, but the possibility that I'll be able to hear a response from her in the future makes it even more continueworthy.

The only problem I'm facing right now is finding enough time to work on creating my tulpa, as I'll be on holiday for 4 weeks and pretty much continuously surrounded by various people. I'm sure I'll find some minutes here and there, though, and I'll definitely try to free up some time to continue creating her.

 

Oh, and hello everyone :)

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2

Recently I haven't been able to work on the personality as much as I've wanted because of people sleeping in the same room as I have and people waking me up and accompanying me out of bed, and I do most of my work on my tulpa when I've just woken up and before I go to bed, because then I am not around the friend I am currently in a house with, and I don't really know how to tell him I plan on creating an "imaginary" person yet.

 

However, nonetheless I have gotten quite a bit of very interesting experiences. One time I felt this weird pressure on my upper chest, and I've gotten headaches at the very back of my head slightly towards the left twice now.

Next to that I've been getting these weird rushes of emotion, and I usually struggle with feeling emotions. I feel annoyed when I'm not able to work on my tulpa, and I get this rush of happiness when I make a lot of progress on her.

 

The only thing I'm concerned with at the moment is that I sometimes feel like I'm actually talking to something, and then when I'm not actively trying to talk to my tulpa instead of myself, it feels like I'm just talking to myself. However, this concern does not really bug me, because I have significant motivation for this and whatever happeens I'm sure I'll achieve my goals.

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