GAD's Tulpa log

[GAD]

Here I will log once a day about my progress in making a tulpa. So far the plan is to have a morning session, mid day session and an evening session. Once school starts, I will move it all to one long session in the evening, hopefully to get deeper.

 

I read the guides and FAQ's and think I might have a good idea of what to do.

 

The way I understand it, you build the personality, then visualize, and finally narrate/impose.

 

Day 1:

Today I've worked on personality and visualization. I written down the key words, most of them came up with during forcing:

Judging

Joking

Teasing

Friendly

Movie/Music enthusiast

Motivating

Observing

Attention to detail

Extroverted

Happy/Cheerful

Intelligent

 

First, I visualize my tulpa with my eyes closed, walking around in my room. I ask my tulpa to sit down, and then I sort of pull a blueish stormy cloud out of her head.

I look at the words as if they are written down on pieces of paper. When I look at the paper, I visualize scenarios where my tulpa uses the specific trait, and then how it acts together with the other traits. I then let the cloud absorb the piece of paper, and go on to the next. I've done this in the morning and mid-day, and plan to also do it in the evening session, where I just look at all the traits work together.

 

The plan for tomorrow is to work on specific visual traits. Right now I have the general anatomy down, ie. limb length for shins/thighs/torso, and at the gym it was surprisingly easy to visualize the tulpa too, so I started working on how the feet should look.

 

I experienced a bit of a headache in the back of my head, near the neck in the first session along with some spinny-ness.

Second session I tried to listen to some minimal techno (Swayzak) but it seemed too distracting unless I turned it way down. I did however find one Swayzak song that was very calming to listen to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc41X4gtxs0

 

Decided to make the evening session into visualizing. Designer the tulpa from scratch, starting with feet and moving up to legs. I got quite a lot of experience in the human anatomy, so I didn't have much trouble visualizing the different bodyparts, although I did have problems with getting ribs, chest, back and knees to look right. A face popped up on it's own, not so detailed, so tomorrow, or later tonight, I'll try to work on the face and while I'm not forcing, read up on the troubly bodyparts.

 

Oh and I do forcing lying on my bed, covering my eyes with a pillow.

[GAD]

Pretty hot today, so concentrating was a bit hard. Went over a few personality traits again. I feel like it's a bit hard to get a clear picture of the tulpa when visualizing, although I can focus in on certain things and get a high definition of it. Still have a bit of trouble with the back, but got the chest and knees sorted out.

 

Morning session was spent on visualization. I do both visualization and personality traits.

I was outside playing with my sister, so I spent half an hour forcing before the heat and sweating became too much in the 2nd session.

I did another 30 minutes after I had cooled down a bit, but I fell asleep towards the end for a few minutes, again because of the heat I think. It's fucking hot here and I would like for it to go the fuck away.

I'm going to work out and near the evening do another forcing session.

I started getting a bit more response from the tulpa, as I felt the headache near the neck spread a bit, but it's all still staying at the back of my head. Hopefully I'll get some more responses later.

I've been narrating when not forcing, just commenting on things, talking what I'm doing etc. and imagining that the tulpa is right behind me. I don't really know if I'm doing it right, but I guess I'll just keep going.

 

If anyone is actually reading this, tell me, what do I do when forcing, if all the visualization is coming along fine, and the personality is done, but I'm hardly getting much response from the tulpa? Keep narrating and getting a clearer picture?

 

EDIT: Also, I woke up extremely early today - Like, 3-4 hours earlier than normal, which hasn't happened to me all summer. Hopefully this keeps happening, because I have to get up early for university in a few days.

[cardscov]

I implore you to take other people's tulpaforcing advice with as many grains of salt as you please; the process varies a lot from person to person.

 

That said, even when I got my tulpa's personality down, I just kept working with it. I'd keep repeating the traits and try my best to feel the meaning of the words and their impact on myself and the tulpa. After that was done, I'd just talk to it. When talking got boring, I'd find some other activity to do. My goal was to keep my attention solid on my tulpa as long as possible; eventually I started reading stories to her for fun. That way, I get to experience a nice story and she gets the attention she needs to strengthen her existence in my mind.

 

I hope this helps, but don't take it as the One True Method. It's just what works with me; because you're good at visualization, you might have a lot of alternatives for yourself that prove to be more entertaining and effective.

[Faceache]

I'm gonna tell you some advice I didn't follow abd ended up regretting it, don't force while you're trying to fall asleep. I had a nightmare which will take some time for me too post on my blog, I'm still not gonna follow the advice to confirm this was tulpa-related.

[GAD]

I'm gonna tell you some advice I didn't follow abd ended up regretting it, don't force while you're trying to fall asleep. I had a nightmare which will take some time for me too post on my blog, I'm still not gonna follow the advice to confirm this was tulpa-related.

Yeah, I found it hard to concentrate on the forcing while falling asleep, so I just gave up on that, and I've also heard a lot of people saying it's a bad idea. But thanks for the heads up.

 

Just finished 3rd session of day 2 - The hour seemed to fly by. I started out with some personality repitition; I took the different traits and saw how they played together. And instead of doing the stormy cloud thing, I took my tulpa outside and envisioned different scenarios where the traits would come out, thinking how she would respond to the different situations, people, my actions etc..

 

Listened through the whole Swayzak album "Himawari". I found that it is extremely good to listen to, as the bass is very unintrusive, the beat is repetitive so it doesn't take my attention away, and it blocks out the noise in my house (computer, parents, little sister).

 

I set the playlist so it played

at the end, and when I asked if I should turn up the volume(I listen to it at a very low volume so it doesn't interfere with the forcing), the already present headache-ish feeling in the back of my head spread a bit, so I'm guessing I am making a bit of progress in getting tulpa to communicate.

---

I implore you to take other people's tulpaforcing advice with as many grains of salt as you please; the process varies a lot from person to person.

 

That said, even when I got my tulpa's personality down, I just kept working with it. I'd keep repeating the traits and try my best to feel the meaning of the words and their impact on myself and the tulpa. After that was done, I'd just talk to it. When talking got boring, I'd find some other activity to do. My goal was to keep my attention solid on my tulpa as long as possible; eventually I started reading stories to her for fun. That way, I get to experience a nice story and she gets the attention she needs to strengthen her existence in my mind.

 

I hope this helps, but don't take it as the One True Method. It's just what works with me; because you're good at visualization, you might have a lot of alternatives for yourself that prove to be more entertaining and effective.

I agree with you on many points. The personality I still work with. Not in the boring systematic FAQ_man way where you go through each trait thoroughly, but more like you said it, explore the meaning, put it to use etc., especially in situations. And as you said, I am getting a bit bored with visualization and personality, so we're just talking about stuff. I'm not sure if the responses are me or the tulpa, but I'll just keep talking.

 

I do try not to follow guides too much, but for example the advice of thinking that the tulpa is right behind you/present in the room, I think helps on the narrating, as I feel I'm talking to someone instead of talking to thin air.

 

The gym was empty today, so I just talked to her about training, about the regulars there. There was one guy who came in later, and he stared a bit at me while talking to myself. But hey, who cares, people in the gym are so vain, that I couldn't care less about them lol.

[GAD]

Progress!

I had a busy morning, so the morning session was quite rushed and didn't get much progress. I did wake up about an hour before I had asked my mother to wake me up, and the sessions are usually an hour, so maybe it's a sign, that my tulpa wanted a session before leaving the house (Had to go out and get a blood test which btw took a total of 5 minutes - Narrated while walking around with nobody around (it was 10AM, so mostly people driving)).

 

Second session was really great though. Being outside gave me a chance to look at people for the features I was missing (eyes, lips and ears) and that helped me add the final touches. I also tanned the tulpa a bit, and gave her some more "healthy" colors, made the hair a bit darker than the pale white.

 

I am listening to Swayzaks album "Himawari" while forcing, and as this song came up:

And I instantly visualized the frozen loch as my wonderland. As I'm almost finishing the body itself (I've kept the tulpa naked so far, since I'm still changing the minor details in the anatomy) I began visualizing movements, such as running, ice-skating(in the wonderland), crawling trees and stuff like that. I did have a problem getting the walking form down.

 

Also, after about 30 minutes into the session, my mind started drifting, and suddenly got this kind of "kick" in my brain, that moved all the attention from whatever I was thinking about, back to the tulpa("Hey, back at me!").

 

Also, the headache feels have spread a bit, so we're making steady progress.

 

Hours spent total: 9

 

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A21wxZKiao8

KARLOR CAN FUCK ANYTHING. AND HE WILL. AND HAS.

[GAD]

Forcing when it's fucking hot in your room sucks shit. I'll do some longer sessions in the morning and afternoon when it's not so god damn fucking hot and then skip evening if I have to sweat throughout it all. Fuck.

[cardscov]

How bad is it? When my room gets terrible I'll just lie down and try my best not to move and ignore it while I force, that usually does the trick.

[GAD]

How bad is it? When my room gets terrible I'll just lie down and try my best not to move and ignore it while I force, that usually does the trick.

I'm sweating like fuck, and the heat is what makes it hard to concentrate, so I can't ignore it. Also, today my whole body felt extremely restless, just had a constant urge to stretch and contract every single muscle in my body. So I went out and squatted my trampoline.

[GAD]

I tried going outside and forcing. I found it to be a lot easier. But lately, I seem to be getting a lot of distractions when forcing, stuff getting into my head, especially towards the end of a session. So I'm thinking of cutting down the duration of the forcing sessions and focus more on narration.

 

After the forcing outside, I had a weird feeling about the letter L each time I thought of the tulpa, and while forcing in the evening, "Luna" popped up in my head, so I guess I'll call her Luna.