That Blazing Progress Report

[IronStriker]

(Get it? Blaze? Fire? ... I’ll see myself out.)

 

Okay so it’s been... a week? Wow, time has flown by.

So, a bit of background is in order.

Spitfire is an older story character of mine, a sniper/mercenary, so I was rather surprised when his name popped into my head again and again. He’s loyal and determined, and a protector. My protector. Trying to rid the world of all the evil people... but that’s a story for another time.

Every day, I try and do a bit of active forcing, at least 10 minutes an evening - I struggle to keep still in longer sessions. On my days off, I can happily settle for half an hour or more in the peace and quiet of an early afternoon.

 

The first sign of deviation was on Friday, the 5th, where solely jet-black hair was soon ended by gold/amber flashes, like it had been dip-dyed. Pretty cool if you ask me!

 

Now, I’m finding it easier to focus on narration, and can pick myself back up much quicker than when I started. 
 

A day or so ago, I start getting whispers. Some whispers happen before I’ve even finished my thought. A quiet Dublin accent, which makes it more distinct from my own thoughts as an Englishman.

 

Some part of me thinks I’m parroting - but I try and put my full belief that I’m not consciously doing that.

 

So... Here we go!

 

Edited March 8, 2021 by IronStriker
Happy-button-mashing occurred

[JakubM]

Everything seems preety cool so far. And with keeping good work it will only get better! Just don't think of parroting, you can't do it mindlessly, so if you are not sure then it's not parroting. Good luck in your progress, and greet Spitfire from me and Elzu.

[IronStriker]

7 hours ago, JakubM said:

Everything seems preety cool so far. And with keeping good work it will only get better! Just don't think of parroting, you can't do it mindlessly, so if you are not sure then it's not parroting. Good luck in your progress, and greet Spitfire from me and Elzu.

Thank you, I hope all goes well with you and Elzu as well!

[IronStriker]

Day 9... Yesterday was a washout due to work, but I tried my best. Narration was difficult, but I managed to remember a bit more than before.

 

The goal today set was to work on a sense of presence. Like how you know someone is stood near/around you.
- This involved heading into a (bleak for the purposes of this) headspace. Less distraction, and less stuff to focus on.

- As best I could, I tried to remember the sensation of having someone stood around me, and to replicate that.

  - For a few seconds, it worked. It sort of flickered, but it worked. Someone that I could feel safe around, drawn to, and who gave the calmest impression.
 

At this time, I was also getting headpressures, which I hadn’t really been expecting. Weird feeling.

 

Then, later on, I remembered a website I have bookmarked called radiogarden (plays radio stations from all around the world), and that I had a few Irish radio stations saved on there. I think they’ll come in handy!

[IronStriker]

New progress? New progress!

 

Doing a bit of evening forcing, out of the blue I get sent an image of a silver synth keyboard (I don’t know I’m not much musically-inclined, nor do I remember exactly what we were talking about!)

 

So, I end up falling asleep after a while and end up having a dream - (which later turned into a nightmare that I woke up from...) - Details aside, at one point I come across that very same keyboard and say aloud to myself ‘Oh hey Spitfire loves those things!’

 

Our day isn’t over yet, but I consider that a high point so far.

 

Overall everything just feels so much... easier, I think. It’s getting easier to just accept.

[Wray]

4 hours ago, IronStriker said:

Details aside, at one point I come across that very same keyboard and say aloud to myself ‘Oh hey Spitfire loves those things!’

 

Our day isn’t over yet, but I consider that a high point so far.

Congratulations! That's awesome.