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Hi! ill try to keep this simple as i can, i happened to stumble on this forum while researching tulpa stuff, and i thought asking some questions will be the best way to go as people here are experienced! 


So, i planned on developing a tulpa for comfort and to help me through trauma, is this alright or would it be seen unfair to my tulpa? 

i have had this in mind for a long time, so i had a "design" for my tulpa (it could be seen as an oc design), again, is this alright or would it be unfair to my tulpa? 

i also wanted my tulpa to share my passion for music (and music taste) as its something i want to do for a living, again..would this be okie or unfair? 


these are all genuine questions, i just thought asking people would be better as my concentration is terrible at the moment so researching is a huge struggle for me, thank you so much in advance for answering!!  

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Anecdotally it seems like most tulpas at least partially adopt personalities based on the needs of the brain/system as a whole. It's not impossible for them to reject these roles they're given but that's usually a sign of them of them achieving greater self-awareness and realizing they don't want to be a certain way anymore for whatever reason.


But to actually answer your questions:

  • No it would not be unfair by itself. Relationships are based on mutual need for support.
  • No it would not be unfair by itself. I actually think this can be quite helpful since form can help inform a baseline personality.
  • And no it would not be unfair by itself.

Here's the caveat: the "by itself" part. All of these things you'll be giving them are like hypnotic suggestions. They're baseline presumptions they'll have, but they'll be untested ideas, not something that's firmly part of their identity. They'll accept them early on but it's entirely possible that they embrace or reject these suggestions when they get tested by reality. The way these things become unfair to them is if they decide to reject one or more of those things and you decide you don't want them anymore.


So the counter questions are:

  • They'll probably always have a desire to comfort you because they'll be a normal empathetic human, but what if you both find they can't actually really help as much as you like, is that a dealbreaker?
  • If they decide down the line they want a different form, is that a dealbreaker? Will you encourage them not to express themselves through their body?
  • If their musical taste ends up diverging to one degree or another, is that a dealbreaker? What if they decide to remain completely separate from your work?

A tulpa ultimately isn't a servitor or another lesser archetypal form of thoughtform, it's by its nature a sentient construct, and it will diverge to some degree as it decides who it is based on what it actually experiences, rather than what it's been told or assumed about itself. Some things will become innate and be strengthened when they experience positive responses from the things you've given them while other assumptions will be tested and the assumptions will shatter when they fail to match reality or they have bad experiences due to them.


They may change in unforeseen ways outside these three things too in ways you might not think are great. People develop weaknesses naturally based on their strengths in ways that's often unavoidable. People who are very empathetic can also be very emotionally vulnerable or turbulent. People who are very driven and confident can also be very cold, or overly egotistical. Things like that. Tulpas are no different, the more they grow the more you'll realize they're people with idiosyncrasies. 


Zen - Host 

Mika - Tulpa

If text is uncoloured, presume Zen is talking.

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Nothing about that is unfair, but bear in mind a tulpa is not a therapist. I'm not saying you shouldn't create a tulpa (they can help), just that you shouldn't consider a tulpa a substitute for actual professional help.

I come out of hibernation once in a blue moon.


They/them pronouns, please. (I've been using this display name since 2012 and people won't recognize me if I change it.)

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