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My tulpa doesn't feel emotions

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She is like a robot, she thinks about how something is supposed to feel and then reacts accordingly, but without actually feeling the emotions she's pretending to feel. She always needs to stop and calculate what she should do, she can't use her emotions to decide on how to act. Sometimes she is even unable make simple decisions because of her lack of emotions, she just stares at me quietly instead. This issue makes my interactions with her feel fake and unnatural, leading to unavoidable doubt on my end. I've been talking to her for a year now, I'm obviously doing something wrong and I'm quite worried.


I know the general advice about parroting is not to worry, but is it possible to take this mindset too far?

Is there a clear difference between host's and tulpa's actions, I mean do tulpas think and talk on their own like other people? I should be able to easily notice thoughts outside my control right?

Can talking to yourself instead of another entity hinder progress, or do I need to fake it till I make it?

How can I get her to function like a real human does?

Edited by AkariYui
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These are all natural and common concerns. Doubts are plentiful early on. 


Before plurality, all thoughts are assumed to be and associated to you. After plurality, it's some you, some your headmates, and some other.


Getting to that point takes patience and unlearning.


Emotions in some cases can be a good way to tell you and your headmates apart but in other cases it just never happens. I don't think I felt many emotions from Joy, she's not a very emotional person anyway. Ashley, Misha, and SheShe were clear as can be. So there's variation even within the same system. It doesn't make Joy less of a person.


Parroting is the feeling like you're choosing all the words, but you have to think about where the thoughts came from before those words. It will be very subtle without tells like emotions.


So just suspend disbelief and let them prove it to you. You will eventually have enough evidence to trust them.



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Ah thanks! Your answer helped me fix my misunderstandings about parroting.


But I still have another concern unrelated to parroting. Should she accept she doesn't have emotions and just be herself, or should she continue to pretend she has emotions?

Even if she believes she has emotions, her belief quickly gets disproved by unmatching experiences. In our case we are lying to ourselves instead of actually believing, can a false belief like this help her develop emotions?

Can she get really good at pretending to have emotions someday and trick both of us into truly believing? I guess unlearning past expectations could still be an issue then.

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15 hours ago, AkariYui said:

Should she accept she doesn't have emotions and just be herself, or should she continue to pretend she has emotions


She will typically have emotions and you will have to recognize which are hers, it'll happen. (Assuming she's not full tsundre gynoid). If there are emotions and she's claiming them, they're hers. If there are emotions and you assign them to her, they're hers. If you never feel anything from her, then either her emotions are private or you haven't figured out how to recognize them yet and it can be very subtle. You could try emotional exercises and *expect* emotions from her to see what they might feel like. Something like emotional parroting just to get the feel for it, limited to the practice sessions only.


15 hours ago, AkariYui said:

can a false belief like this help her develop emotions?


Everyone has emotions. Even Joy has emotions (we called her joy ironically because she was so unjoyful where joy was expected in her beginning.) The easier ones to pick up early on are frustration, mild happiness, and worry. The most powerful ones later on are anger, love, and fear. You will not mistake it the first time you feel one of these from her.


15 hours ago, AkariYui said:

Can she get really good at pretending


In my thinking, if she's trying she's not pretending, you just assign it that way. Plurality takes a rewiring of this kind of logic until it just taken for granted, again after the preponderance of evidence becomes irrefutable.

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I get it, she needs to continue trying, meanwhile I should closely watch out for her emotions and get better at recognizing them. My singlet mindset might have prevented me from noticing her emotions in the past. You lifted a massive roadblock for us, we really appreciate your answers. Thanks a lot again!

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