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Aendrea’s progress/story


Beedle

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I first wanted to start with the story of my walk-in tulpa, Aendrea. The story of how she became my tulpa.

( A little bit of context of what state I was in when she came to be:  I had just come out of a low point in my life.  I didn’t have any friends, I was homeschooled, and I just felt very lonely.  But then I got her!).

 

It was recently that I had found out about tulpamancy, by my older brother.  At first I was accepting of it, but didint think I would want to do something like that.  But the more he talked about it, the more my interest grew.  I started to think about making a tulpa because I’m very lonely at times, and I wish I had someone to talk to about more “private” things. Someone who wouldn’t judge me, and would understand where I was coming from.
     Then, a few days later I had a dream.  The beginning of it was nonsense, normal dream stuff.  But then me, my little brother, and a few other people I didn’t recognize walked up to this house.  We entered and a woman came over to us.  ( it was late, she was just waking up to see who we were.) she sat down and asked us the questions you would ask a group of people who just wandered over to your house at night.  But then my little brother knocked over a pot, and water spilled all over the place.  I ushered everyone out and cleaned up the mess.  But she was very kind about it, despite my little brother breaking something of hers. After that, I woke up.  
     It had been the first time I ever saw her, but I somehow recognized her, and the place she was in.  I’ve had dreams of the house before. So I talked to my brother about it, and I while I did, I suddenly heard a voice.  So I listened to it.  It was her talking.  She told me she was my tulpa. (After I asked her what she was). I asked her to describe to what her world was like, and it was very interesting.
     She told me that she had a husband, and she said she shared the mansion/wonderland with him.  She then told me she had been watching me for a while,  that she was deciding if she wanted to be my tulpa or not. She describes it as she’s from a different dimension, and in her world, people can watch over people in this world, and essentially decide if they want to live in their head and be a tulpa. It could be for different reasons, but usually it’s if they believe someone in this world could use an extra ear, a friend. She introduced the term “topia” to me, and what it is to us is basically what would be the wonderland to anyone else. Basically, in our inner-world, the wonderland is the mansion, as it’s where we spend the most time. The topia on the other hand is like everything else, the outside world. It’s kinda confusing, as usually the wonderland is the term for the whole thing, for us it’s just the house, while the topia is the word for everything else.  It truly was fascinating hearing her talk about it.  (Also, sorry if this sounds outlandish, but it’s what happened!)

     Now, about a few weeks later I’ve been talking to her and developing her further!  I can’t wait to see what will happen in the future, and no matter what good times and bad we’ll go through together, I know that I’ll never have to be alone again!

Beedle (host!) she/her

Aendrea (tulpa) 🌸 she/her


Aendrea’s progress

My art thread

 

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That is such a nice story! Aendrea sounds like she's really looking out for you! 😊 It's a very wonderful thing to have a being inside your head who cares about you and checks up on you. You're going to have so much fun getting to know each other better! I'm excited to follow your progress! 😊

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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This is about Aendrea’s husband (if anyone’s curious!) 

     
     I do not consider Aendrea’s husband a tulpa.  He is simply there.  I can ask questions about him, but he doesn’t answer.  I can imagine what he looks like because I asked Aendrea.  He has blonde hair, that is very short,  and he has blue eyes.  He is tall and muscular, and is very nice.  He knows that Aendrea is my tulpa, and is a little skeptical.

     I once asked if he had any pets, (like Andrea, she has a lion and a little black cat.). And he does, it’s a fluffy, fluffy white cat, with blue eyes like him!  I then asked if he was a cat person or dog person -I was pretty sure I knew the answer- but what she said surprised me, she said he was a dog person.  I asked why he didn’t have a dog if he was a dog person, and Aendrea told me that she was allergic to dogs.  
     One thing I forgot to mention is his name, Lucifer. 
     This is mostly all I know about him, but if you have any questions for Lucifer, or for Aendrea, feel free to ask away!

     Thank you and that’s my time!

Beedle (host!) she/her

Aendrea (tulpa) 🌸 she/her


Aendrea’s progress

My art thread

 

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Lucifer sounds like a neat guy, and sounds handsome too! I have heard of tulpas having non-tulpa spouses in the wonderland before, and I think it's very nice. I don't have any specific questions for them right now but I'll let you know if I think of any!

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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(edited)

More in depth about my wonderland and topia 

 

 

In my first post on Aendrea’s progress/story, I talked about the wonderland, and the topia. This explains what I mean, in more detail.

 The wonderland, for me and Aendrea, is her home, her mansion.  Her wonderland is still a bit of a work in progress,  I’m working on creating it in Minecraft, so far, it’s been fun.  Basically when you walk in, the the left is where all of the tall, oddly shaped mushrooms are, there’s also this little platform where it takes you above the mushrooms, so you can jump down on them. To the right is her living room, and the grand staircase. And then in the back is the kitchen. I’m not quite sure what exactly will be upstairs, or where I will place the room’s, but there will be at least a bathroom and bedroom up there.  Outside of our wonderland, there will be a garden, and also, somewhere, i think along the back of the house would be nice,, there will be a desk, with a mirror on it, be hind that desk is a privacy screen with plants coming out of it. (Yes, this place was based off of a dream.)  these cute little scenes just outside of her house are not quite the topia yet, this is simply for change of scenery,  this is her “property”. Another thing that I thought was so cool was that in those dreams I had, was her original home.  Once she showed herself to me, I got to decide wether I wanted or not to, open the door  for her.  What that means, basically wether I want her to be my tulpa or not.

 Then there is the topia.  The topia is, basically my mind. I know it sounds strange, but she describes it to me as a place where all tulpas you could ever possibly have, live,  where the tulpas you have opened the door for can mingle and talk to each without you being in it.”  

it is also a place where if I get other tulpas, their wonderland would be.   Also, i believe the topia a have is absolutely wonderful, if I  don’t have a wonderland quite yet for my tulpa, that’s fine! I can imagine them in the topia!  I imagine the topia as a town, a place that’s very casual.

this is about all I have so far, as I’ve said before, I’m very new, and still trying to make sure that Aendrea is nicely developed before I go really deeply into creating the wonderland, and asking about the topia.

 

also, I let Aendrea chose how her name was spelled, (which sounds fair.)  and it’s a little funky.  It is pronounced Ann-drie-ah!

 Alright, that’s all I have for know!  Bye, have a good day/night!🍀 (ps. Sorry if there are typos, I am tired while making this, but wanted to post it now, not later.)

Edited by Beedle

Beedle (host!) she/her

Aendrea (tulpa) 🌸 she/her


Aendrea’s progress

My art thread

 

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Creating a representation of the wonderland mansion in Minecraft is a great idea! 😁 Phil and I created a Minecraft version of our primary wonderland home, you can see it here if you want! 

 

I'm fascinated by the concept of the topia. It's the first thing I've encountered in some time in this community that feels like a brand new concept. And somehow, despite me not understanding it completely, "topia" feels like the absolutely correct name for it. It feels like...a place of potential. The opposite of an afterlife, a before-life, or something. I don't know if I'm making sense. My host and I haven't gotten enough sleep lately. 😄

 

I think the spelling of Aendrea is very cool! It's just different enough to be unique without being so outlandish that a person can't understand how to pronounce it. 👍

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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Tulpa speech?

 

 

Aendrea started speaking to me right away, but sometimes, the things she’d say wouldn’t make much sense.  Or, like sometimes I’m doing something, and I hear her trying to talk to me, when I listen to her it’s completely random, example:  what color are your toes?  Doesn’t make sense right?  Or if I’m asking her opinion on something, she’ll say something off topic about the texture of leather.  (Neither of those examples actually happened.) But then again, when that kind of stuff happened I wasn’t forcing her much, I’ve been doing that more now, and she’s getting better.

 

also she has told me that she has watched over me just about my whole life, but sometimes when either I’m doing something or playing a game she’ll say “what is that.” Then I’ll have to explain it to her, and It just worry’s me, because I’ve heard of people say that their tulpa’s got stuck in that development process.  So sometimes I worry.  But once again, when I got more active with her she stopped doing it quite as much as she did when I first talked to her 

 

so far, she’s already come such a long way!☀️

Beedle (host!) she/her

Aendrea (tulpa) 🌸 she/her


Aendrea’s progress

My art thread

 

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8 hours ago, Beedle said:

Aendrea started speaking to me right away, but sometimes, the things she’d say wouldn’t make much sense.  Or, like sometimes I’m doing something, and I hear her trying to talk to me, when I listen to her it’s completely random, example:  what color are your toes?  Doesn’t make sense right?  Or if I’m asking her opinion on something, she’ll say something off topic about the texture of leather.  (Neither of those examples actually happened.) But then again, when that kind of stuff happened I wasn’t forcing her much, I’ve been doing that more now, and she’s getting better.

 

That's actually extremely common for new tulpas, and it even happens to more experienced tulpas from time to time! Basically your brain is still trying to work out what thoughts come from your tulpa and which are just the random background junk we all have bouncing around our brains. The more developed Aendrea gets the less this will happen, and if you're ever in doubt if something came from her, just ask her! 

 

8 hours ago, Beedle said:

also she has told me that she has watched over me just about my whole life, but sometimes when either I’m doing something or playing a game she’ll say “what is that.” Then I’ll have to explain it to her, and It just worry’s me, because I’ve heard of people say that their tulpa’s got stuck in that development process.  So sometimes I worry.  But once again, when I got more active with her she stopped doing it quite as much as she did when I first talked to her 

 

That is a common worry that a lot of people have, so don't feel bad for worrying, but also, there's nothing really to worry about! Tulpas can regress a little at times, that's actually pretty normal, but they almost always make it back up within a few days. When I was young, I would fall silent for a couple days at a time and Phil would worry about me, but in truth I was still always there, I was just struggling to find my voice.

 

I'm really happy to hear that you've progressed so much already! 😁

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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On 3/26/2023 at 10:20 PM, Beedle said:

 Then there is the topia.  The topia is, basically my mind. I know it sounds strange, but she describes it to me as a place where all tulpas you could ever possibly have, live,  where the tulpas you have opened the door for can mingle and talk to each without you being in it.”  

it is also a place where if I get other tulpas, their wonderland would be.   Also, i believe the topia a have is absolutely wonderful, if I  don’t have a wonderland quite yet for my tulpa, that’s fine! I can imagine them in the topia!  I imagine the topia as a town, a place that’s very casual.

this is about all I have so far, as I’ve said before, I’m very new, and still trying to make sure that Aendrea is nicely developed before I go really deeply into creating the wonderland, and asking about the topia.

 

I find the concept of a topia quite interesting! I experience something similar to this. In vague terms, my internal space is like that, where members of my system are without the fronter also being in it.

My Progress Report, where I talk a lot.

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  • 1 month later...

New headmate?

 

so this happened about a day ago.  I was tidying up my bedroom a bit, and I started to involuntarily regress (if you don’t like age regression, you can leave.).  I tried to snap out of it because I was cleaning my room, and I’d want to stop cleaning if I regressed. And once I did snap out, I heard a little voice saying somthing like, I want to come out!  It freaked me out because, 1: it wasn’t me, and 2: it didn’t sound like Andrea.  Prior to this event, strange little things like this would happen when regressed, like I’d hear a voice, but I never really thought much of it.  And now there’s this child for screaming at me that they want to come out, they then tried to forcefully front.  It was a very scary experience.  I eventually got her to stop, and I then heard Aendrea talking to the kid.

 

I had never switched with Aendrea before, but I felt tired, scared, and a little unsafe, so I asked to switch with her.  All I did was take a few deep breaths, then I fell my thoughts get small, and quieter.  As hers got louder.

 

during the time I was switched, it was like I was asleep.  In a dark void, but I was at peace.  I could listen, but I didn’t remember anything vividly when I switched back.  
 

I was able to head to the wonderland and talk to the little voice later that day, and I talked to her.  She came from the topia, I think, that’s just one theory.  He name is patunia (like petunia, the flower.). And her form is about five to six. I don’t know where she came from exactly but I have some ideas.

 

one, she was the original headmate.  When I was younger I was told playing with dolls was childish, and that I needed to grow up, and I did.  So I think it’s possible that maybe, but probably not, that she was here first, when I  “grew up” at a young age, I was created (wich is really scary for me to think about. The fact that it’s possible I didn’t always own this body.)

 

the second, is that she’s from the topia.  That she basically wandered into my mind at a young age, and that she was here before Aendrea.  At a young age, certain emotions would trigger me to start acting, feeling, and sound younger.  This theory says maybe that was me switching to her?

 

the third theory is that Aendrea was hear first, when I was younger was just my way of being happy or sad.  That maybe recently she entered my mind.

 

all I know for sure is that she not from Aendrea’s world, and she only started talking recently.  I hope I’ll be able to find out wich “theory” is true to her origin.

 That’s all I wanted to say, bye!!

Beedle (host!) she/her

Aendrea (tulpa) 🌸 she/her


Aendrea’s progress

My art thread

 

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