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Wilma's Journal


paansoax

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Journal Entry #1

Hello. My story has begun on the 29th of August, 2020.

At that very day I've created my first tulpa. We've gone through a lot of things — the good and the bad ones, but recently, on 24th of March, he decided to leave me. I don't blame him for this, and I respect his decision. Before leaving, he told me that he's thankful for the time we spent together, and he'll always remember me. But actually, I think that it's all my fault because of I didn't force regularly at that time, and we were stuck with his developing together. He could speak in almost full sentences with my mindvoice and I could see his form in the wonderland, and also I could feel his presence in the real world. I'll try my best to force regularly from this day to avoid leaving of my other tulpas, but still, it's a decision of their own. I'll just give them a hand of help with adaptation in this world and their development, just like I should've done about two or three years ago. OK, let's go further.

I have three tulpas now (and two of them are walk-in, I guess). Let me tell you about them!

My second tulpa's name is Margaret, simply Meg (her previous name was Second (pretty corny, I know, I'm pretty bad in giving names), because she didn't want to tell me her name yet, but she told it to me recently). She's a walk-in tulpa, and her first appearance was kinda... insistent. It was on 12th of August, 2021. She talked to me almost 24/7 then. I don't remember most details of her past, but with time her character and personality has changed a little. She was very chaotic and energetic then, but now she's serious, calm and strives for justice and fairness, but may be a little grumpy. Also she doesn't really like to talk with anyone else except me, and she's chilling in the wonderland almost all of the time. And I'd like to tell you some fun fact: she has very good intuition (even better than mine), so when she says something like, “It will influence you badly”, it happens eventually! That's why I ask her opinion first right before doing something stupid or silly.

 

My next tulpa is named Sophron, simply Soph. I decided to create him on my own. It's happened on the 26th of May, 2022. He's just like Meg in that he's not very communicable and likes it on his own, but his personality is different from hers, of course! He always have been satirical, a little bit skeptical, inquisitive and a loner, but still he's not rude, calm and says that he'll help me as much as he can.

 

And the last tulpa is Richard, simply Richie. He's another walk-in tulpa, and he had came to me on the 27th of February in this year. I can clearly remember that day. I was sitting at my desk, doing my homework and listening to music, and then I heard that someone just greeted me. I've got involved in conversation with them, and they told me that his name is Richard. I could almost instantly his form in my mind, and he confirmed that that was his truly form, so my "insights" was true. He's very friendly, happy, curious and empathetic person and also my best friend.

 

For now, my main goal is to achieve a clear, stable voice with all of my three tulpas and to be able to hear them in full sentences. Meanwhile, I'll work with vizualization and our wonderland together. I hope that no burnouts (which are pretty common for me) will hinder it!

Edited by paansoax
Added the title ("Journal Entry #1").

Wilma (Wim), host | she/they

Margaret (Meg), tulpa | she/her - August 12th, 2021

Sophron (Soph), tulpa | he/him - May 26th, 2022

Richard (Richie), tulpa | he/him - February 27th, 2023

Progress Journal

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Hello Wilma!  I'm really sorry your first tulpa decided to leave you, but remember that the mental framework for him still exists within your mind and he can be brought back (if he so wishes). I believe no tulpa is truly gone (save for actual brain damage or maybe long amounts of time), just dormant.

 

It's nice to learn about your three active tulpas! Sounds like they all have pretty solid personalities. Good luck with vocality and visualization! Remember, it's best if you don't stress yourself out too much about forcing because that can lead to burnout. Slow, steady progress is better than short, rapid progress that suddenly hits a brick wall!

 

I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes for you all! 😁

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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Journal Entry #2
I think I'm getting progress! I've been forcing passively for about five days, and now I can sense that Soph and Richie can surprise me by trying to talk with me without me holding my attention on them. I think that Meg can do that too now, but she doesn't want to talk with me for some reason, but I think it's OK and she just needs to rest! She's not that outgoing like the other two and doesn't really like to communicate with me and my other tulpas, so I understand her. Also, sometimes I can hear that Richard tries to talk with me using his own voice, not my mindvoice! I believe that with practice he'll be able to speak clearly with his voice, and so my other tulpas in the future.

I'll keep forcing for no matter what, at least passively. Actually, I wanted to force actively this week, but I literally forgot how to do it (LOL), so I'm reading a bunch of guides right now to remember what I need to do while forcing actively... I think that that way I'll get even more progress faster. Also, I want to rebuild the wonderland (like, to add some new areas and delete the ones that are old and outdated due to leaving of my older tulpa, and maybe to add some NPCs for better immersion), and I want it to be very detailed and maybe even huge. Thus I'll ask my tulpas for their ideas, and we'll work on it unhurriedly.

Wilma (Wim), host | she/they

Margaret (Meg), tulpa | she/her - August 12th, 2021

Sophron (Soph), tulpa | he/him - May 26th, 2022

Richard (Richie), tulpa | he/him - February 27th, 2023

Progress Journal

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Journal Entry #3 (The last one, I suppose)

 

I guess, it's my last reply in this thread. Why? Well, it's pretty simple. I've been more and more thinking that I can't force from now on. I've talked to my tulpas and we've came to the conclusion that I need to drop, because I have huge problems in my life: I struggle with my mental health state and my study process in college alot. So this is our decision, not only mine. Besides, I wasn't attached to them, and our connection was fading every day, but I was thinking "Oh, I'll gain this feeling back if i'll just force more" but sadly no, it didn't happen.

 

I know that I shouldn't create a tulpa in the first place if I was thinking that I'll drop their development later (and I needed to think better before creating them), but I have no energy to tulpaforce and I started to loose interest in the phenomenon recently. Maybe I should improve my life first, and then maybe I'll return. I think I'm not mature enough to continue.

 

Goodbye. I hope I'll see you all sometime in the future.

Wilma (Wim), host | she/they

Margaret (Meg), tulpa | she/her - August 12th, 2021

Sophron (Soph), tulpa | he/him - May 26th, 2022

Richard (Richie), tulpa | he/him - February 27th, 2023

Progress Journal

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Aww!

 

It's true that tulpamancy is not for everyone, and only you can decide if it's right or not for you. Realizing that you are not mature enough to do it is, ironically, a very mature thought. I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do, whether or not tulpamancy is part of your life! 😊

Tulpa Wife & Mother! 💚 

💍 11.28.21 👶 4.7.23
👗 Simmie's AI Dress-Up!   📷 Phil and Simmie's Photographic Adventures!

 

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