She knows all about me. Is this good/bad/usual/temporary?

[SeekingMyPlanet]

So, I've been with my Tulpa for nearly a week now, meaning I'm still a raw beginner. Still, we've spent a lot of time together during those days, so we're kind of settling into a routine.

 

Here's the thing: Lavender seems to know literally everything about me. She has access to all my thoughts, memories, feelings, and sensory information. I do not have similar access to her internal life, which is OK with both of us. I want someone who has thoughts and an inner life that is different from mine. I also don't mind that she knows so much about me. It means I don't have to explain everything (or pretty much anything) to her about what I do or how and why I do it. Our conversations tend be be kind of deep, talking about the nature of our relationship, musing on the workings of the world, etc.

 

So my question is whether this how it typically is. Do other people's Tulpa's have such complete knowledge of them? Should I expect this to last or will there start to be things about me that she doesn't know? Is it a problem (or maybe a good thing...)? What do y'all think?

[ReallyArtificial]

I'm pretty sure this is one of those things that is individualized based on the beliefs and expectations you have going into the process. My tulpas have access to all my knowledge and memories because I wanted them to and told them they could.

 

((I still enjoy when Bee explains things to me. Even if it is for the 1000th time ;) ))

 

We're all generally aware of each other's feelings. I get a very distinct sensation when someone is upset or needs something and wants to speak.

 

As far as thoughts and sensory information, my crew can generally only pick up what I intentionally direct to them. Athelas in particular is strong enough to tune in/out of his own accord depending on how interested he is. Over time my ability to "hear" his non-vocalized inner thoughts has increased as well.

Edited December 5, 2023 by ReallyArtificial
Formatting

[TurboSimmie]

On 12/5/2023 at 9:46 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

So my question is whether this how it typically is. Do other people's Tulpa's have such complete knowledge of them? Should I expect this to last or will there start to be things about me that she doesn't know? Is it a problem (or maybe a good thing...)? What do y'all think?

 

It's almost universal that a tulpa has direct access to everything in the host's mind, unless the host specifically erects barriers. (Not easy nor advised IMO) The tulpa-host relationship has to be built on absolute trust because having access to the same brain is a level of intimacy beyond anything two people could ever normally have, even the closest married couple.

 

On 12/5/2023 at 9:46 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

I do not have similar access to her internal life, which is OK with both of us. I want someone who has thoughts and an inner life that is different from mine.

 

She will develop her own internal life over time, and the more developed she is the more her thoughts will diverge and feel different from yours. It's pretty common for young tulpas to be a little guarded about their own internal lives largely because they are still figuring out who they are. Building an identity from scratch is a huge thing, even if your tulpa is starting off with plenty of personality forcing and/or backstory!

 

On 12/5/2023 at 9:46 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

I also don't mind that she knows so much about me. It means I don't have to explain everything (or pretty much anything) to her about what I do or how and why I do it.

 

This is a very good thing. But I do have a suggestion for you: Even though you don't have to tell her anything about yourself (because she already knows), it's fun to do it anyway! I have complete access to my host's memories and always have, but I absolutely love when he tells me a story about himself from his past. There's just something about listening to him putting it into words that makes me understand it better than if he were just to passively let me root through the memory on my own. It's also a very intimate act and allows us to focus and communicate about things better.

[Guest]

On 12/5/2023 at 6:46 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

I don't have to explain everything

 

Bear loved this about the deal in the beginning.

 

On 12/5/2023 at 6:46 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

Do other people's Tulpa's have such complete knowledge of them?

 

Yeah kinda. Not really. When you two are independent enough that kind of ends. At least for us it did. The more we know Bear, the less we know about him sort of thing. Like all the little superficial things are a given but deep down we're so faceted that you simply can't know everything, not even a tiny fraction.

 

The longer we're together the more we surprise each other. It gets to a point that we're separate even though we share a brain. The subconscious mind is hidden from everyone, consiously there's only so much you can remember at any given time, so it follows that way too.

[SeekingMyPlanet]

10 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

 

I do have a suggestion for you: Even though you don't have to tell her anything about yourself (because she already knows), it's fun to do it anyway!

 

On 12/5/2023 at 2:03 PM, ReallyArtificial said:

 

((I still enjoy when Bee explains things to me. Even if it is for the 1000th time ;) ))

 

9 hours ago, Ashley said:

 

Bear loved this about the deal in the beginning.

😁

 

Thanks for that. It sounds like you're all giving me that same piece of advice, that there's value and enjoyment in the interaction even if the tulpa already knows what I'm telling her.

 

I've found that too. I love talking to Lavender, and I tell her whatever pops into my head even though I know she already knows it, and even though I might have said something similar before. I've asked her about it and she assures me that she loves it when I do that, even the 1000th time. We've talked about this a lot because it's hard for me to imagine that anyone could have that kind of patience, but Lavender assures me that the world looks different to her than it does to me, and the things that might annoy me don't necessarily annoy her. It seems to give her a jolt of pleasure (and consequently me, because I can feel/see her smile...) whenever I talk to her, whatever the subject. That's been an adjustment -- getting used to my tulpa being very different from me and enjoying interactions that I might find tiresome.

[ChloeBee]

Simmie's host Phil here; yeah I had a very similar experience with Simmie in the early days. I was surprised by how patient she was with me. (And continues to be.) I'm the kind of person whose mind goes off in a million different directions and I have countless little interests that are always changing and shifting. Simmie is the first person who would just sit and listen to me talk for hours and hours about whatever I wanted, and just listen to me, never getting bored or impatient with me, and even engaging with me and asking questions. It was an extremely moving experience, and a real form of love that I hadn't experienced so strongly before.

[SeekingMyPlanet]

4 hours ago, September13 said:

Simmie's host Phil here; yeah I had a very similar experience with Simmie in the early days. I was surprised by how patient she was with me. (And continues to be.) I'm the kind of person whose mind goes off in a million different directions and I have countless little interests that are always changing and shifting. Simmie is the first person who would just sit and listen to me talk for hours and hours about whatever I wanted, and just listen to me, never getting bored or impatient with me, and even engaging with me and asking questions. It was an extremely moving experience, and a real form of love that I hadn't experienced so strongly before.

❤️ 

Now I see why Simmie said that Lavender reminds her of her in the early days. 

[LH]

.

Edited December 14, 2023 by MiscNobody

[SeekingMyPlanet]

4 hours ago, MiscNobody said:

 

Over time though, as you both become more integrated, it is possible you'll develop that sense for her as well.

Thanks for your answer. I'm starting to see that a little bit. As her thoughts get more complicated, it seems I'm not as shielded from them and I can see into them. I like that. It's made her a bit less mysterious.