Generic Progress Report

[Hornbori]

Born 11/02/2012

 

First hour of tulpaforcing ever went well. I wrote down a number of personality traits for my tulpa to have, then after reviewing the first part of the list I sat down in the half lotus position to begin. I began to narrate to a presence I projected in front of me, knowing it to be on my bed just an arms length away. My usually stoic disposition was interrupted and I felt surprisingly emotional while speaking about the kindness I desire my tulpa to have, how others will perceive it, and how it will affect her interactions with the world. I actually had a few tears come out from behind my eyelids. I also went over other personality aspects such as her optimism, as well as her intelligent mind.

 

After just a couple of minutes over an hour I stopped tulpaforcing and went to bed. I'll assume this emotion I felt was a good sign.

 

11/03/2012

 

Second forcing session went good. The strong surge of emotion I felt from the first time wasn't as steady as before. It seemed to come and go during different parts of my narration, almost as though my tulpa was critiquing me. I hope she was. Anyways I reviewed the personality aspects I had covered night before, and then finished off the rest of the list. I didn't plan to finish the list so early, but it seemed like 15 traits wasn't anywhere near enough. I ended up just conversing and speaking about

the world to my tulpa for a bit to make up for other traits to cover.

 

I plan on doing visualization next time to get a vague outline of a body, then returning to personality again. I think if I cycle the progress like this it'll stay much more fun.

 

 

11/04/2012

 

My third forcing session I feel was the least productive, though it still was a step forward. This time I decided to start on the visualization process. I tried to jump in first and imagine the body I desire my tulpa to have, but found it much more difficult than I thought it would be. So I scrapped that idea and began work on the skeleton. I imagined energy flowing from myself into the various bones which I placed one after the other. After the skeleton was complete I added in the internal organs, and then the muscles to coat it all. Finally I added skin and hair, resulting in the youthful woman I envisioned.

 

I continued to go over various sections of the body trying to cement the image in my mind, but was still struggling. I began to narrate to her to review the personality attributes I had covered before, and then I remembered I hadn't given her wings yet. Having studied the anatomy of the wings of various eagles earlier it wasn't too difficult, and soon enough I added a beautiful pair of wings to the back of this healthy young woman. It was about this time I had some disturbing intrusive thoughts pop into my head periodically, so I quit the visualization process, lay down in my bed and narrated a bit more before sleeping.

 

11/05/2012

 

This forcing session went better than the last one I would say. I began by reviewing through narration the previous personality traits I had given my tulpa before. Then I covered a couple new ones, including some interests I would like her to have. After going over this I began to visualize her form again, this time she appeared much younger than I had planned. Her head seemed different as well. I'll assume she did these changes on her own.

 

The intrusive thoughts weren't as bad this time because I would switch between open eye and closed eye visualization on a regular basis. I took some caffeine as well before I began which helped keep me more focused.

 

After doing maybe half an hour of pure visualization, and light narration work I switched back to narrating about her personality while visualizing as well. Narration always seems to strike a chord in me and I really enjoy speaking to her even if she doesn't speak back yet.

 

After about an hour total of work, I continued going about my day while being more mindful of her presence. Not long after this I decided on a name for her, Camellia, which I mentioned she is free to change if she wants.

[Hornbori]

11/06/12

 

Tulpaforcing went well last night despite a somewhat chaotic home environment. It was very nice to finally have a name to put to my tulpas face while I forced, rather than simply addressing her as "tulpa" or avoiding the subject of a name altogether. This time I narrated a new set of personality traits for her, how they effect her views, how they effect her interactions with others, etc. Also because of my previous visualization I finally had a form to put the personality traits to, though of course she's still blurry.

 

I noticed my mind often turns her form into a 2 dimensional anime one when I don't focus very clearly on it, I'm not sure if this is her doing or my own.

[Hornbori]

11/07/12

 

I went to tulpaforce way too late last night, and for the first time ever was having issues staying awake while narrating Camellia's personality. I fought on for as long as I could, but about half an hour into it I decided it would be much better to resume forcing in the morning than to fight on and barely get anything accomplished.

 

In the morning when I awoke, not too long after getting ready for the day I sat down to begin tulpaforcing again. It went much better this time though I was still somewhat lethargic. There was background noise as well so I tried listening to music while forcing, specifically to the band Om, which ended up distracting me too much so I quit it. Overall I'd say it went well though.

 

After I was done forcing and was cooking myself breakfast something interesting happened. I was quite irritated that the stove was dirty as hell, and I've just been feeling stressed as of late. After gazing at the stove in a somewhat pissed manner I heard a faint, very feminine voice inside my head say "stay calm".

 

I feel that I'm going in the right direction now.

[Guest Anonymous]

Her form change from yesterday was probably her trying to figure out what she wants, as you probably know. Also:

 

>month/day/year ordering system

>Music distracts me too.

>What does her voice sound like?

[Hornbori]

>month/day/year ordering system

 

I know, I know. I agree the way most Americans order the date is pretty weird.

 

>Music distracts me too.

 

Yeah. I was able to concentrate for quite a while with it until the bassist picked up the rhythm really heavy, then I couldn't help but bob my head. So I turned it off.

 

>What does her voice sound like?

 

Well to start it was extremely extremely faint. I wondered for a split second if I really just heard that, and then I couldn't help but grin when I realized what it was. Her voice was I'd say what a stereotypical 14 year old shy girl would sound like in an anime. Very soft, reserved and feminine.

[Hornbori]

11/08/1012

 

Last nights visualization went pretty well. I'm becoming much more used to the discipline involved in tulpaforcing, and more experienced as well, so the time just flew by.

 

I visualized her entire form just fine, and from many many different angles. While she would stand or sit in this black void I would walk around her and gaze at her from all directions. I also tried a form I read about where she places her hands on my head and we just focus on one another. This paired with closed eye / open eye alternating made the entire session go smoothly. The intrusive thoughts were much less frequent as well.

 

Nothing else profound has occurred yet.