Rigby's Progress Report

[Trebhum]

It's been a while since I've been on this forum. Honestly, I can't believe how long it's been...regardless, I'm still on my tulpa journey Zeppelin. 

She's been with me for a while now...although I can't remember the exact number of years. I haven't actively/consciously worked on her for a while now, life has gotten in the way, but I've started really focusing on her and her growth and I have been seeing amazing results.

 

I've always been able to "feel" her, physically. I can sense when she touches me, or when she's standing beside me. I've been leaning into these behaviors, imagining her movements and the texture of her as we interact like this. I've also been letting her see and feel things through my own body. Last night she saw through my eyes and we marveled together at all the things in our room. We picked up toys and small objects that she had never gotten to inspect before and I let her turn them over in our hands and inspect all the little details. She was so immersed and pleased with it all it was hard to get her to go to bed with me.

I've also taken to referring to both of us as "we" instead of the singular "I." She seems to really like this new terminology. It will take some getting used to for me, but we are more than happy to make these accommodations for her.

 

One thing that we've really been working on is defining her voice. When she was initially created we did have a voice in mind for her, although it was hard to really get it to stick. She's done beautifully lately though, I can hear her voice so clearly. While she's adopted the voice perfectly she's added her own little vocal quirks and sayings to her cadence and it makes me so happy to hear her experimenting with her self expression like this.

 

With all the leaps and bounds she's been making in such a short amount of time, she does tire quickly. I notice she has a harder time being present when we aren't completely alone. She usually has thirty minutes to two hours of persistent activity before "mellowing out" and becoming dormant for a few more hours. I try not to push her too much, I know all this time and practice spent must be a lot on her mentally as well and I encourage us to take breaks. I still reach out to her in these moments with my mindvoice, asking her small questions or commenting on the things around us. I don't force her to reply, however, it's more just to let her know she's still included and that I'm still here for her.

 

I'm also going to try to get her to experience lots of new things. She has a Playlist on Spotify we have both worked on, and I played it for her earlier this morning and a bit last night. I could feel/see her dancing. It was an amazing thing to see her so happy responding to something she enjoyed. I want to try showing her some games and books as well and see what else she likes, I think this will give us both good practice as well in conversation. 

 

I've gone over the rules for Progress Reports and posting here on the forums again since it's been so long since I've been here (and I've only ever made one post previously) so please, if I'm making a mistake in my postings, let me know. I will try my best to abide by the rules. 

[Seagull]

1 hour ago, Trebhum said:

I've gone over the rules for Progress Reports and posting here on the forums again since it's been so long since I've been here (and I've only ever made one post previously) so please, if I'm making a mistake in my postings, let me know. I will try my best to abide by the rules. 

What you've posted here is fine, as long as it's tulpa related you can put it into your progress report, you can think of it as a daily journal, or series of highlights, whatever works for you.

[Trebhum]

I'm not 100% sure how to format our progress report to have "pages" like we've seen on others, but this is a close enough compromise eh?

 

We've started a personal journal to detail Zeppelins progress day by day, but it will still be nice to post here monthly with big updates. 

 

She has made such quick progress, it amazes the both of us! For a bit I had to ask her "was that you?" To confirm it was really her I was hearing, or asked her to say my name when she responded as another form of confirmation. She quickly surprised me by being cheeky about this, either calling me a nickname instead or adding a silly little quip. We've quickly grown out of this though (although sometimes it is nice to fall back on, just in case) as we've worked on distinguishing our mindvoices.

 

I also introduced her to some activities we could do together, I started reading to her and getting her attention while we played a game. She's actually been able to read with her own internal narration that is different from my own. She loves it! We want to keep expanding and giving her hobbies she enjoys. I want her to live the fullest possible life. 

 

It has been fascinating how her tastes have evolved from my own, she has a predominantly vegetarian diet and prefers soft, smooth jazz and horns compared to the high energy music I enjoy. Occasionally we have had little spats over the kind of things we want to do/listen to and I've actually made her a bit upset on one occasion when I didn't listen to her wishes. We've been acclimating quite well to life together though, and have found a good balance of needs/wants, although this could still use some work. 

 

The most amazing thing happened just a few days ago that really wowed me. We were outside (spring is here!) by a river and I let her "feel" through me. It came on so strongly it was like she was actually next to/a part of me. I could feel her tugging at our body, willing it to move the way she wanted it to. She put her hand in the cool running water of the river and collected stones to take home. She's very visually oriented, although sometimes she can get overstimulated by all the...stimulus. Still, it was an amazing experience! 

 

We have a lot of nightly talks just before bed (I've noticed she has a hard time speaking with me when we're not alone, so bed time makes for perfect communication) and I find it endearing how I get sleepy but somehow she gets more energized. I've passed the idea on to her of letting her have our body to stay up while I sleep, "switching" I suppose, but she seems a bit nervous about the idea. Our body still might be tired in the morning! 

 

We want to work more on her Wonderland, we've a vague idea of what it is/looks like but I want to make it more concrete for her (although she's perfectly happy just living in the real world. But it could be fun!) Other than that I would like to work on possession with her. Another thing she's a little nervous about, but I think she'll have a lot of fun moving on her own volition. 

Until next time!