Progress Log (First time doing this. Made by Spook)

[Spook]

I’ve decided to go by Spook here. An old name I used in a game once. As the title says, this is my first time trying to create a tulpa, and I’ve only recently learned they existed. 
 

Apologies for the long read. This is my first log, and will therefore most likely have the most content. I have a lot to record. For future reference, it is currently 2025.

 

Beforehand:

I’ve decided to make a Tulpa for two main reasons. One, curiosity. Two, self improvement. From what I’ve learned about tulpas so far, it’s possible to improve myself in various ways should I be successful in this process. I will do my best to do my best.

 

I start by talking to myself about Tulpas. I hold a conversation with myself for a while, it doesn’t matter what it was about. To be clear, this was certainly just me puppeting a copy of myself. That doesn’t matter either though. What matters is that at some point, I said to my copy that “you are just me.” You me. I decided that if I make a tulpa, I will name them you me. Now I’ve started, and I call him Yumi. It’s a nice name.

 

First step (Nov. 19):

I’ve read some guides, and I see something I like as a first step. I go into my “wonderland;” four logs around each side of a campfire in a forest. I sit on a log. I was laying on my bed, but I could image sitting just fine. I imagine Yumi as a humanoid form on the log to the left of the fire, as I have not thought her appearance yet. I say hello to Yumi and tell her I’m going to do my best to invite her to exist. I tell my reasons for wanting to create her, how I plan to do things in wonderlands with her. I end up repeating myself a lot. It probably took less than 20 minutes for me to stop, but that’s alright. Now I recognize Yumi as ‘real,’ to an extent. That was the goal. I go to sleep, it was late.

 

Visualization and Design (Nov. 20)

I am lazy, and creating a personality will be hard for me. I decide to give him a design and practice visualizing instead.

 

I don’t want Yumi to be female, since it may open a potential for romance I do not want to explore. I do not want a ‘bro’ either—that’s not what I need. What I need is someone who can guide, give insight, help me think. A mentor of sorts, but not ‘above’ me—I want an equal. Where we can comfortably talk or explore a world made by my mind. Sorry for the tangent, the point is, Yumi will not have a gender, and I will refer to him as either ‘him’ or ‘her’—whatever I happen to think of first while quickly typing. Sorry if this causes confusion in writing. I suppose I ended up doing some personality creation after all.

 

If anyone wants a precise description of what I do here, I will happily try to give one. However, it is not an easy task for me to turn visuals to words, so I doubt my ability to provide a clear description.

 

I wake up and eat. What I do here lasted about 45 minutes I believe. I do not record time. I start with the face. Then the head, then the headwear. The headwear covers the hair. I struggle as I try and think of the upper clothing. I eventually find something I think works. I spend lots of time simply practicing visualize each part I have made, over and over. My brain made some complex designs for the mind to visualize. The design of the sleeves on the arms are different on each side. I decide to keep it, but it makes it harder to visualize her when changing perspective. I do not get to any clothing beyond this.

 

Later, I space out in class for what was probably 45 more minutes. I have no issues with the noise around me; I do not get distracted. I still can’t visualize the shirt-like clothing I decided to create. This is because I don’t know what exactly I want it to look like. Did I mention I never fully completed that design? Anyways, I get better at visualizing each part, especially the arms and headwear. The only part of his face that is clear to me is the eyes. 
 

Later, I space out in class, but not for long. Long enough to give her pants and scrape my mind for ways to make this shirt make sense. I get better at visualizing each part, especially the sleeves and the headwear. I almost always imagine her smiling.

 

After class, it is dark, so I decide to go to a hammock under a tree and lie there for around an hour. I visualize a whole lot. The shirt design is starting to make sense. The details are nonexistent, and the bottom isn’t coherent. Yumi doesn’t have shoes, and I think it works despite seeming out of place. I get better at visualizing each part. I get better at different perspectives. The bugs outside start biting me so I decide to get up and leave. I would have stayed longer.

 

 

Later, I lie in bed and do much the same. I realize I can’t see colors. I worry for a while, but then I realize maybe I can. Or maybe I just ‘feel’ them. I don’t know, but I hope it’s good enough. I am able to somewhat visualize Yumi without ‘zooming in.’ It’s not as good as a character I am familiar with, but I’m getting there. It will be easier once I actually know what she looks like. Especially that shirt-like clothing.

 

My experience so far:

The act of visualizing is enjoyable and relaxing. It’s not hard to stay focused despite ADHD. It certainly works as a form of meditation for me, as I feel calmer afterwards. I’m very happy about that. Even if I don’t progress, at least it positively impacts me. This is a great replacement for wasting time on my phone.

Final note:

I request you respond to this with any thoughts, criticisms, advice, compliments, or else you may have. Any response helps create a sense of community, which I believe is a good thing. Lastly, no, I do not talk how I write nor do I normally write like how I did here. It’s just easiest for me to write longer things and thoughtfully reflect like this I suppose.

 

[Spook]

Creating a personality (Nov 20):

Today was strangely demoralizing. My visualization feels like it’s improving, and the Yumi’s outfit is almost fully solidified in my mind. However, I decided to start creating a personality.

 

I wrote down a lot of traits while thinking of what personality I felt I generally wanted from my Tulpa. I then… told my Tulpa the traits, I suppose? I do notice it’s hard for me to visualize whoops talking with my inner voice. Everything ‘fades’ in a way. I don’t really feel like this progressed much of anything in terms of forming a personality. It is very difficult to create a personality, and seems even harder to try and give it to a tulpa.

 

On a side note—this is a question I actually want answered—can the creation of a tulpa be fairly boiled down to “the ability to strongly understand a characters personality, habits, and appearances. Then, talking with an inner version of said character until they talk back.” To me, it seems every step to create a tulpa aims to have one understand a character, preexisting or original, to a significant extent. Then, narration. Understand a character -> Narration. Am I missing something or is that essentially the practice here?

[Shaula]

We don't really have a lot of experience with creating a tulpa (our creation was a little weird) but I think I understand it enough to help. 

 

I do believe that it can be explained that way. It can take a lot of time for it to work as well. Some people get a response in a few days while others take months or longer. You don't have to have a super focus on the personality either, I believe it is more like a guide. 

 

A majority of the process is believing in that you hear them. Sometimes that can just be a thought that doesn't feel like it's perfectly your's. Truthfully, if anything feels out of place (minis negative thoughts), try to believe it's them. 

 

I hope this helped in some way! 😊