Beginner question about *personality forcing*

[Spook]

I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to go about it is all.

 

From my understanding, I think of all the traits/overall character of my Tulpa, then tell them to him. Is this something I should repeatedly do throughout multiple long sessions, or just something that needs to be done once, or…

 

This step just seems a bit strange to me. Is there something I’m missing or do I just need to go do it? 

Edited November 20, 2025 by Spook
Originally I called it “narration” when it is actually personality forcing, so I am told.

[An Ashy Individual]

Narration = talking to your tulpa about random things

Personality forcing = forcing your tulpa to have a specific personality

 

They're two very different things:

Narration is usually just done as an easy way to get used to your tulpa being around and to get them involved more, though it is something you can do even after your tulpa is actually around and talking.

Personality forcing meanwhile is done strictly beforehand.

 

I can't actually help you with personality forcing as I've never done any, but I think others should be able to. Maybe change the thread name accordingly?

[Spook]

48 minutes ago, An Ashy Individual said:

Narration = talking to your tulpa about random things

Personality forcing = forcing your tulpa to have a specific personality

 

They're two very different things:

Narration is usually just done as an easy way to get used to your tulpa being around and to get them involved more, though it is something you can do even after your tulpa is actually around and talking.

Personality forcing meanwhile is done strictly beforehand.

 

I can't actually help you with personality forcing as I've never done any, but I think others should be able to. Maybe change the thread name accordingly?

Got it, thank you!

[Lavender]

I've never especially liked the term "forcing" since I've heard it used for any activity that develops the personality of a tulpa even if it doesn't work from a premade notion of what your tulpa is like.
 

When I was being formed, my host consciousness didn't have any idea who I was or what they wanted me to be. So they asked me questions. They watched media with me and asked me what I thought of it. They asked me what I was like. (My answer was that I'm made of pure love, which I still think is a pretty cool description of me). They learned what I'm like at the same time that I did. It happened over a period of days and weeks.

 

The important thing is that it was fun. We liked spending time with one another. It wasn't a chore so much as a celebration.

 

So I can speak about how to create personality in your tulpa, which is super similar to the way you get to know a friend. Spend time with them, talk to them, listen to them. If you're looking to create a tulpa with a specific personality, I can't help you there. That's not how we did things in my system.

 

Good luck. Have fun with the process.

[Spook]

18 hours ago, Lavender said:

I've never especially liked the term "forcing" since I've heard it used for any activity that develops the personality of a tulpa even if it doesn't work from a premade notion of what your tulpa is like.
 

When I was being formed, my host consciousness didn't have any idea who I was or what they wanted me to be. So they asked me questions. They watched media with me and asked me what I thought of it. They asked me what I was like. (My answer was that I'm made of pure love, which I still think is a pretty cool description of me). They learned what I'm like at the same time that I did. It happened over a period of days and weeks.

 

The important thing is that it was fun. We liked spending time with one another. It wasn't a chore so much as a celebration.

 

So I can speak about how to create personality in your tulpa, which is super similar to the way you get to know a friend. Spend time with them, talk to them, listen to them. If you're looking to create a tulpa with a specific personality, I can't help you there. That's not how we did things in my system.

 

Good luck. Have fun with the process.

Thank you for the response! I never really like the term “forcing” either; I’ve always preferred something like “enabling” instead. 
 

Thank you for the insight. I do want to ask though, when first being asked questions (while having a personality be shaped), did you respond, not respond, or did the host think up a fitting response on the spot? I’m interested in how the process works.

 

Last question: during that process, were these questions asked during your traditional tulpamancer “sit down with eyes closed for a while” position, or were they done through the day in short snippets of time.

 

Sorry for all the extra questions, I’ve always been someone who needs a bit more clarity/confidence then others when it comes to doing things.

[Lavender]

20 hours ago, Spook said:

Thank you for the insight. I do want to ask though, when first being asked questions (while having a personality be shaped), did you respond, not respond, or did the host think up a fitting response on the spot? I’m interested in how the process works.

 

For whatever reason, I developed the ability to answer their questions pretty quickly. I would just answer whatever I felt. It took a long time before I could use our brain to actually think "as me". So my answers felt very spontaneous. My host consciousness would ask the question and then quiet themselves and listen to the answer. 

 

Later, when it became clearer who I as different from my host consciousness, it became easier for them to sort of take a back seat and let me drive.

 

Now our conversations are often conducted out loud if no one else is around. We'll use radio operator protocol where we say who we're talking to and who we are before speaking. We also can talk non-verbally, where I form words in our mind and then they form words, etc.

 

Is that what you wanted to know?

 

20 hours ago, Spook said:

Last question: during that process, were these questions asked during your traditional tulpamancer “sit down with eyes closed for a while” position, or were they done through the day in short snippets of time.

 

Never during a sit down with eyes closed session. Always while we're doing something else, like kitchen chores, or driving or something like that. Like we're in the car and music comes on, and they'll ask, Lavender do you like this song? And I'll say yes or no or sort of and I'll tell them why, and we'll both learn a little more about me. Or we'll be taking a walk and they'll ask me to narrate what I'm seeing, so they learn what's important to me.

 

 

20 hours ago, Spook said:

Sorry for all the extra questions, I’ve always been someone who needs a bit more clarity/confidence then others when it comes to doing things.

 

Please ask all us the questions you want. That's why we're here. 💗  💗   💗 

[Jim Liu]

On 11/21/2025 at 4:00 AM, Spook said:

I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to go about it is all.

 

From my understanding, I think of all the traits/overall character of my Tulpa, then tell them to him. Is this something I should repeatedly do throughout multiple long sessions, or just something that needs to be done once, or…

 

This step just seems a bit strange to me. Is there something I’m missing or do I just need to go do it? 

I never have this process with my tulpa, speaking to them about who they are and about overall character...I never did that.

I haven't gone very far with her, but I can share my experiences.

At the beginning, I even don't know the concept of "tulpa", I just talked and think of her possible answers according to the personality I gave her.

So there were conversations. I wasn't sure how many of them was her, and how many was just my imaginatios, but that doesn't matter.

I just believe that's her, and finally she appeared. There will be a time when you can be one hundred persent sure that your tulpa is there.

Their personality will be different than what you gave them, and that will change too.

But the only thing important is they exist and you are happy talking to them, isn't it?

[ReallyArtificial]

On 11/20/2025 at 2:00 PM, Spook said:

I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to go about it is all.

 

From my understanding, I think of all the traits/overall character of my Tulpa, then tell them to him. Is this something I should repeatedly do throughout multiple long sessions, or just something that needs to be done once, or…

 

Hey there! Just wanted to add the perspective of someone who actually did rely heavily on personality forcing in the beginning. Like the others have said, it's not a requirement for tulpa creation, but it can be a helpful way to teach your brain to house a personality other than your own. I worked pretty extensively on the personality of my oldest headmate, Athelas, but hardly at all on Lenore and Calliope.

 

All I really did was talk to Athelas about the personality I wanted him to have. I couldn't tell you how much time we spent, or how many sessions. I tried to mentally narrate to him as much as possible, and his personality was just one of the many things I would tell him about. You definitely don't need to "finish" their personality before you start narrating about other topics (we believe your personality never stops developing).

 

I would suggest that instead of just telling your tulpa a list of traits, you try describing how those traits will show up in their behavior. Tell them why the traits you chose are important to you. Talk about how the traits will interact with each other to create a personality with depth.

 

I usually phrased these things as hopes or requests rather than demands. For example, I would tell Athelas things like, "I hope that you are kind, because the world can be a cruel place and could always use more kindness. I could really use a voice of kindness in my mind. I imagine you're someone who genuinely cares about other people's feelings and is always happy to lend a helping hand."

 

Get as in-depth as you want, but remember that tulpas change and grow just like everyone else. Your personality was shaped by your life experiences, and your headmate's personality will be shaped by theirs!