PinkSlash

[PinkSlash]

 

A super short summary of my history

 

Dissociative identity disorder Starting when I was 4.

First accidental Tulpas around early 2000. Very short lived. Didn't know what was going on.

First Pony Tulpa 2010-2012, accidental. Very toxic relationship ended very badly. More pony tulpas also happened and went about the same.

 

Gave up on Tulpas and got into pony hypnosis. Enjoyed it but it lead to accidental Tulpa Which only last a few weeks or months.

 

Chrysalis Tulpa 2012-2013+ accidental. My main tulpa, may be as old as 13-14 years old but its debatable.

Fluttershy Tulpa  2020. Going on 6 years old. Don't really do much with. Just keep around.

 

[PinkSlash]

 

I've become very passive these days when I visualize myself with my tulpa in my headspace, I've noticed. Its not me thinking about and controlling everything I do. No, its as though, I close my eyes, see/visualize my tulpa or a part of her, and go "Okay brain play me a movie of what I do to my tulpa". And if the movie does things like pet her head or something, thats good. But if its something mean or violent, end movie and restart.

 

Or if what has happened to my tulpa bothers me enough, I don't visualize anymore that day. For example, if I see her teeth get broken, I don't want to see her with broken teeth. So I try to not think about her until another time, where she is back to normal. Yet this very clearly stunts progress,  more so if its frequent.

[PinkSlash]

 

My tulpa has been doing a new pose, being less aggressive, and being more chatty. Not much else new besides that.  Been having her chat with people more.

 

[PinkSlash]

 

Today my tulpa's face has looked like mush. A shame, I like to focus on my tulpa during my cycling. Why did my tulpa's face look like it got run over today? Dunno. Its a bit random that things done to my tulpas looks will stick around hours or a day, before going back to normal. Always makes me not want to look at them that day, least it become more permanent. For example, I may decide to look at my tulpa and an intrusive thought takes her eye away, leaves a mark, etc. Always bothers me a lot, when these random thoughts cause harm to them, even if they feel nothing at all, which is usually the case.

 

When I can't look at her face, I tend to focus on her chest, but I feel like her chest is over imposed vs her face by miles.

 

 

[PinkSlash]

 

 

I had a song stuck in my head the past couple days, IDGAF by Dua Lipa. I kept reminding my tulpa, I wasn't saying those things about her. 

 

My chrysalis tulpa has started bringing up her old fascinations, ones I never liked. Which to me signals I've given her more attention than normal. This, acting more independent thing is usually something I try to avoid once it reaches the point of her trying to force things on me, or bring up things constantly that they know I don't like. But I know if I want progress, I gotta roll with it, just like with my old tulpas before her, that progressed much further.

 

I used to have a male tulpa and I'd sing with, or too, like every day. It was really nice how chill we were with each other.

Edited April 24 by PinkSlash

[Shaula]

On 4/11/2026 at 3:55 AM, PinkSlash said:

My tulpa has been doing a new pose, being less aggressive, and being more chatty. Not much else new besides that.  Been having her chat with people more.

 

 

I forgot to mention I'd be happy to talk if she wants. I'm always happy to make new friends! 😊 

 

On 4/14/2026 at 4:52 PM, PinkSlash said:

 

Today my tulpa's face has looked like mush. A shame, I like to focus on my tulpa during my cycling. Why did my tulpa's face look like it got run over today? Dunno. Its a bit random that things done to my tulpas looks will stick around hours or a day, before going back to normal. Always makes me not want to look at them that day, least it become more permanent. For example, I may decide to look at my tulpa and an intrusive thought takes her eye away, leaves a mark, etc. Always bothers me a lot, when these random thoughts cause harm to them, even if they feel nothing at all, which is usually the case.

 

When I can't look at her face, I tend to focus on her chest, but I feel like her chest is over imposed vs her face by miles.

 

Can't really say why but I know the brain can do some weird stuff. I hear meditation can be helpful with intrusive thoughts (I think). 

[PinkSlash]

Talk in a personal way? I tend to avoid that. I try to keep things formal.

 

Dramas, arguments, video games, etc have meant I haven't focused that much for a bit, yesterday was pretty nice though, I had awareness of my tulpa most of the day, her walking around or standing, her form, no matter what I was doing much of the time. Not like where you feel goose bumps, like someone is standing behind you, just an awareness of her form. Probably just a one off though. Since it doesn't seem to be so much so today.