Eventide December 6, 2012 December 6, 2012 Well... It's 1am but I've been unable to sleep since I started on my Tulpa. Not sure why. Decided I should make one of these because it could be useful. I'm starting from day 7 or 8.. Actually it might be morning 9. But basically i 'be been narrating to my Tulpa - his name is Lin - every day. Nothing interesting has happened bar random clown horn honks. That probably isn't him. It's starting to make me grin and they won't go awa-ANYWAY... Today I went over Lin's personality again. I'm starting to get a form but only his hair and ears are consistent. That's progress since he is a little stable, now (he used to just change constantly). floating hair and cat ears is silly and I'm tired and you, the reader, most likely think I'm strange. Yes, you're right. You might actually enjoy reading this but I don't count on that. Anyway... I feel like he's here, but only watching me. For some reason I keep getting random spikes of.. Apprehension, I guess.* I just get afraid for a short burst but then it fades? I don't know if that's him. I will try to update this every day if I can. I have Friday off school (I am 14) so I'll try to fit in a good session there. If anybody has any advice, I would love to hear it. I'm kinda.. Absent minded so I do stupid things. Anyway, this is just here so that I can post my progress. For now, nothing cool. On another note, I've already read about this a lit, but I'm afraid that Lin sometimes says small random things that are on my mind when in visualizing him and that it's me parroting him.I really don't want him to fuck up and become a servitor or whatever the terminology is. I haven't known him for much more than a week but I've.. Kinda grown fond of him. He hasn't said much, just random thoughts, but it literally frightens me. Not a ton, but I get uneasy. I want him to be his own person, not a puppet... He's supposed to start off by saying my thoughts, right? As I said, though, its-- 2am... xD I'm going to be half dead in 6 hours. But this isn't about my life. Its about lin's! So.. I'm going to visualize for a bit, then go to sleep since I'm already screwed in the morning. Good night. ;) *Its horrible. I feel like something terrible will happen. Is this normal?
fennecfoxx December 6, 2012 December 6, 2012 I really don't want him to fuck up and become a servitor or whatever the terminology is. Not gonna happen. If anything, a servitor is more likely to accidentally develop sentience and become a tulpa than it is for a tulpa to somehow not become sentient. The myth that too much puppeting will create a servitor is completely untrue. Deluded myself into believing my imaginary friends were real, then deluded myself into thinking they weren’t. Whatever the case, the OG gang’s still here: Host: fennec (they/them) Tulpas: Alex (he/him) and Kayleigh (she/her) Delete all memories of those who know my awkward past
Eventide December 6, 2012 Author December 6, 2012 Okay I somehow got into a convo on Skype. I just wasn't sure, that's all
Eventide December 6, 2012 Author December 6, 2012 Minor useless info. I can't tell if it's me or my Tulpa but I keep hearing my voice saying things I wouldn't usually say in my head. It's weird. @_@
Eventide December 8, 2012 Author December 8, 2012 December 8th. Every time I try to visualize my Tulpa, I fall asleep. My parents need to leave me alone so I can do it during the day... Anyway... I've been narrating to Lin. I'm gonna write some information about his personality for anyone who likes that thing. This is just my plan, however. I don't mind how he turns out. In fact, I'm interested! I'm going to explain this simply but he is... Curious about the world, inventive, compassionate, excitable, optimistic, affectionate, easily amused, organized, thoughtful, Imaginative, and can be shy. I've managed to just about get his face and hair down. So that's something. Derp. Me: So can you talk yet? Lin: Nope Now I'm getting nothing but some kind of 'staring' presence
Eventide December 8, 2012 Author December 8, 2012 December 8th night All day I've been narrating when I remember. I've been getting mostly incoherent mumbling from Lin, I'm sure it's him because they aren't things I'd think about. What I mean is, he's said a few things but nothing that makes much sense. I'm going to try to talk to him more since he's starting to say things. I am getting random emotions for short spaces of time. Like, a few seconds. But mostly words or small phrases with no discernible meaning.
Eventide December 9, 2012 Author December 9, 2012 December 9th Lin's actually been answering people's questions! I'm kinda excited. It doesn't really feel like it's me thinking any more, but his body isn't finished in visualization. He said he likes Hex (another user's Tulpa) and that he'd like to hug me. It really made my day! Oops. I mean Kai. He decided Kai was better after an embarrassment where someone thought he was a girl and he got all shy. He just told me "Tell them I'm not a girl." >u>
Eventide December 9, 2012 Author December 9, 2012 Kai just told me he wants to be a pony. .-. Well, then. He said it. Not me. I like mlp but I didn't expect this. XD
Eventide December 15, 2012 Author December 15, 2012 Haven't posted in a while and I've decided I'll be around on the shout box but only post updates. So.. When Kai is fully vocal, I'll probably post. He talks to me occasionally right now but sometimes he's not entirely there
Eventide December 16, 2012 Author December 16, 2012 Kai appears to miss me a lot when I don't narrate. I forgot when I was with my friend. Interesting. This means he is actually aware, right? I didn't expect him to get lonely for some reason but he did. Also, here's the pony thing I drew for his body.
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