Druid December 6, 2012 December 6, 2012 Hello ladies and gentlemen, tulpae of all forms! After a few weeks of lurking around I made an account and now bring you a progress log from a young man who is likely going to herp major derps. Without further ado let's get started. All feedback, comments, and suggestions are greatly appreciated and welcomed with open, flailing arms. Day 1: Wednesday December 05, 2012 Today marks official the start to creating a wonderful tulpa! After I awoke from a strange dream I was laying in bed thinking, “I really don’t wanna get up.” Then I heard a female voice say “Move” in my head! I assume this was Lute and was quite excited to hear from her! Afterwards I had a 30 minute forcing session, in which I did my best to visualize Lute in her form sitting next to me in a big white room. I really need to work on visualization it seems, though I quickly went over her form and a possible wonderland place for her to stay in. I tried to ‘infuse’ her with the personality traits I listed though I’m sure I’ll need to go over it again. Intelligence, love, and kindness were the three traits I went over in that session. I imagined creating a ball and labeling it that trait, then rolling and forming it in my hands. When I finished, the ball would change color to what I felt best represented that trait. Intelligence was green, love was pink, and kindness was a light blue. I’ll be doing another forcing session after work and will just try to keep narrating to Lute as often as possible until then, along with imagining her being behind/beside me. Day 2: Thursday December 6, 2012 Last night I tried narrating to my tulpa as much as I could, while watching videos, while I was at work, basically every moment I could. I never received a reply or anything of the sort but I know stuff like this takes a lot of time. I also tried to imagine she was with me at all times, walking behind me, or looking over my shoulder and all that kind of stuff. Before bed I did a force session that lasted roughly 26 minutes, though I feel it might have been less because it took me a while to get focused. Anyway, I felt that I really didn’t spend enough time on the whole personality trait thing from yesterday so I planned to redo that in this session. I started off first just visualizing Lute (that is her name now unless she decides she wants to change it) sitting across from me in a big white empty room. Then I created a ball and as I held it, began trying to explain a ‘loving’ trait. I went on about how the trait would influence decisions and the like, gave some examples and just hoped that what I was doing made some form of sense. After a while I let the ball absorb into her and imagined all the energy from the ball spreading throughout Lute’s body. After this I decided to try and work on seeing Lute’s form better, so I did the whole ‘feeling up’ thing and I feel that it worked surprisingly well. I imagined feeling skin, muscle, bone and the like while moving my hands over her and tried as hard as I could to focus on that. I tried giving her a new outfit that was basically just sweatpants and a hoodie and told Lute how if she wanted to change her form, name, or anything like that she was free to do so as she pleased. Day 2 Cont.: Woke up and had another forcing session that lasted about half an hour again. It was a bit difficult to focus on things but I worked on the personality trait of ‘Kindness’. The whole orb thing seems to be pretty easy for me for the most part, though sometimes I forget to focus on the ball and get sidetracked. I got interrupted a few times so I’ve been thinking about investing in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones or something of that nature. After that I decided to work on ‘feeling’ Lute again, which I’m happy to say is very easy for me. I can easily imagine feeling skin, where bones would be, hair and all that fun stuff. I got a slight pressure on my temple from all this but no headache like the first session. I’m trying to narrate as much as possible between forcing sessions as well in hopes of receiving some form of response, though I haven’t received anything noticeable yet. Day 3: Friday December 07, 2012 While forcing today I decided to try and listen to a tulpatone while doing so and I think it did help a smidgeon. Lute and I worked on the trait of ‘Intelligence’ and I did my best to explain it and give examples. I kept getting distracted by noises in my apartment and did get a little frustrated but I reminded myself to keep calm and let it pass. Also velociraptors burst through the windows of the cabin Lute and I were sitting in… after a few attempts I managed to make them disappear and tried to get back on track. After the personality part I just worked on visualizing Lute and talking with her, though no responses or anything like that yet. The whole session was about 30 minutes again, though I think I should try to go on for as long as I can and just see how things work out. Also got a very light headache during all this so I take that as a good sign! Another forcing session before I went to bed. Tried to flesh out the wonderland cabin a bit so I added windows, a nicer door, carpet, and a bed… I’m not exactly an interior decorator so it’s a work in progress. It’s now snowing in the wonderland so that was interesting to see. I gave Lute a pink hoodie and we walked outside and found fuzzy raptors running through the woods. Then I made bunnies out of snow and had them hop through the 12 inch deep snow in the cleared out area next to the cabin. Aside from a headache I didn’t get any clear responses but we’ll get there eventually. Also gave Lute the ‘humorous’ trait and worked a tad bit more on the other three traits I gave her. I also talked about the Silent Hill movie and what I thought about it. Hopefully with more narration and time I can coax her to make an emotional or verbal response. I had enough time for one last forcing session before bed so I went ahead and did that! Tried to give Lute the trait of ‘optimism’ and I think that worked fairly well. I tried to focus on visualizing and feeling Lute’s sweatpants and hoodie, how the cloth conformed to her form and all that. I talked a bit with her and parroted a couple answers just to see how I imagine her voice would sound like. I don’t plan on doing parroting/puppeting often sense those seem to be held in not to high regard. Got a headache that rivaled the one I got from my first forcing session so I consider that a good sign! Also managed to go 40 minutes this time before stopping so yay! :D We’re making progress, slowly but surely! No real responses yet aside from the headaches and possibly that one "Move" on day one.
Druid December 9, 2012 Author December 9, 2012 Your wonderland sounds pretty cool. Thanks! I find that having random critters roaming the forest really helps to flesh out the environment. So far there are wooly raptors and bunnies made of snow that often show up in the yard/surrounding tree line. Thankfully they're all friendly! :D Day 4: Saturday December 8, 2012 After a very long day of work I was able to get a tulpaforcing session in after I woke up. Hung out in the wonderland a bit and talked with Lute about stuff. Day 5: Sunday, December 09, 2012 Hung out in the wonderland with Lute before bed again! Our cabin now has a kitchen type area, a bathroom complete with amazingly large bathtub, and a Christmas tree with bells and lights on it. In the large open area next to the cabin there is now a giant tree that has small white lights on it. Other than that, just tried to practice visualizing stuff, I’ve got textures pretty much down to a key it’s just that nothing I imagine seems vivid… maybe I’m missing something? Probably just need to practice, practice, practice (repeat to infinity). Very slight headache that quickly went away occurred during this forcing session but nothing else noteworthy. I narrated as much as I could to Lute while I was working the last few days but my job can eat up a good amount of concentration, especially when you end up working overtime. Also tried to imagine her presence being near me at all times but it’s easy to get caught up in something and be in the same situation. Day 6: Monday December 10, 2012 Started off with a surprisingly long tulpaforcing session that took some interesting turns. Added some sofas and a TV to the cabin, also it’s now wearing a giant Santa hat because I like the season! Also above the door is a happy face with one green eyes and a red mouth, I’ll have to draw it and post it later because I’m bad at explaining. Focused on random exercises to hopefully make the wonderland more vivid and stuffs since that and communication are sort of my main goals at the moment. The interesting part of all this was that when I walked into the cabin with Lute, the carpeting was replaced by giant nail… then sea anemones, and finally spaghetti. My brain is the most random thing sometimes I swear! Oh, and apparently there’s a giant part dragon wooly raptor that’s reddish-brown that stalks through the forest now… that’s a thing. I kind of had Monster Hunter on the brain so I presume that’s why it showed up, roared at us, and then ran off. All the other raptors seem to be afraid of it so maybe we can go on an adventure and slay it or something assuming he stays in existence in the wonderland iunno how these things work bro. Very sufficient headache from this session as well, but no real communication from Lute yet. Day 7: Tuesday, December 11, 2012 I had just one forcing session with Lute today and focused mostly on improving my visualization. Got a slight headache for a few minutes early on but it went away quickly. Nothing else of real interest to report. Day 8-10: Wednesday-Friday, December 12-14, 2012 Nothing of note for the past three days. Just trying to narrate as much as possible, imagine Lute with me as often as I can remember, and meditate for a forcing session when I’m not terribly beat from work (which sadly has not been nearly as often as I wanted). Just gotta keep on trekking!
Druid December 24, 2012 Author December 24, 2012 Day 11-17: December 15-24, 2012 Sadly I must report that there has been practically no progress due to issues at home as well as at work. What little free time I had I did try to spend with Lute as much as possible, though many times I was simply too tired or stressed to. BUT, I have the next five days off for Christmas times so I WILL BE DOING ALL THAT IS MENTALLY POSSIBLE! :D I shall update this post as time permits and assuming I don't accidentally set the apartment building on fire while trying to prepare X-Mas ham... on second thought, maybe I'll just take the position of 'potato masher'. Day 18-32: December 25, 2012 - January 8, 2013 No progress made due to life throwing several curve balls at me one after another. Family related issues, work related junk, and blahdy blahdy bloo. Things seem to be dying back down now so hopefully I can get back on track with Lute. I feel simply awful for having so little time to focus on her but hey, that's how the dice roll. I just hope Lute understands that. UPDATE First emotional response from Lute! :D Before going to bed I decided I'd try for a forcing session. It took a little while to focus but once I did I immediately sat down with Lute. I looked at her and instantly felt this warm, fuzzy sensation run throughout my body. The best way I can explain it is that happy, calm emotion you feel when you see a close friend you haven't spoken with or seen in a while. This kind of response would make sense, given the fact that I haven't had a real tulpaforcing session with Lute in weeks. After some talking and me being giddy, I decided that from now on I will definitely make time to have these sessions, rather than just doing them when I find the timing to be convenient. Days 33-53: January 9-29, 2013 I've discovered that free time is like a well, in that it can run out of water and become replaced with mud and bits of splintery wood. If this metaphor confused you allow me to explain what has consumed the time I usually would save for tulpa forcing. Work, family, friends having issues, work, and... work. So yes, little progress has been made due to me not being able to spend much time concentrating on Lute. However, this will all change! The last few days I have set aside at the very least half an hour to focus on Lute and have found that this is a working strategy. Currently I'm trying to find a way to squeeze another half hour somewhere into my day to also tulpa force. In any case, I'd like to get back into the habit of updating daily (or at least at regular intervals). In the times I've had a chance to chill with Lute in our wonderland I've been doing some slight remodeling. I've definitely got to doodle up some sketches of what it looks like and upload those at some point.
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