Latro & Hestia

[Latro]

Day 18 (25.2.)

 

Today was good. We got a lot of work done and no mood swings or anything else bad befell me. Interestingly, the head pressure oscillates akin to speech; sometimes unnoticeable, oftentimes mild, severe when faced with stimulation. I'm quite sure this is my tulpa speaking or thinking in a way I can now perceive happening. Exciting stuff all around.

 

It is an uncontested fact that smell is, of all the senses, most intertwined with memory and recall. To make use of this prospect, I started smelling green tea and thinking about Hestia's every aspect. Any memory I have of her, from personality to form, will eventually be linked with the smell. I hypothesise that this will 'unify' what she is in my memory and cognition, plus bring her much needed attention. I drink 12 cups a day so that's plenty of recall. Also, I love the scent.

 

Tried one of Fede's tones. I don't care about his reputation or why he is banned. The tone I chose performed well. It brough about sensory deprivement for my hearing, as expected, and I started getting all sort of rad auditory hallucinations. Music, birds, waterfalls, etc. I hope this will prep my mind for hearing more keenly in this hallucinatory spectrum of sound since that's probably where my tulpa will speak.

 

Anyway, having my eyes closed and bereft of stimuli as well, my visual cortex spun up an interpretation based on the sounds hallucinated and I saw it in my mind's eye: A summery forest. The world was vivid enough, more so than an purposefully imagined scene of, say, our wonderland. This is because I can tether two of my senses in this new environment using the aforementioned techniques. Any active forcing and visualizing will happen there from now on since my brain believes it closer to reality than other places I've used.

 

After this day of trying to fool my senses, I wonder how it would be like to force in an isolation tank. Someone should try it.

[Latro]

Day 24 (3.3.)

 

I know these gaps in writing dates makes me look like an ass. In my defense, there's quite little to report on a daily basis. We've finished everything except vocality and imposition. I only do fervent narration and some open-eyed visualization nowadays. That's right, we've stopped active forcing altogether. I made my reasons clear here.

 

Starting imposition is tempting. However, I would like to wait for vocality before going down that path. Though, because it's such a long process, I don't see the harm in starting already. I'm sure Hestia will be vocal by the time we're done. If not, at least we'll see eachother for real.

[Latro]

Day 25 (4.3.)

 

Started imposition. Well, I've imposed Hestia on my peripheral vision for quite some time now, but now I started literally staring at her. I can see her form on some level, actually. I can see subtle distortions in the spot I imagine her in and hopefully that means progress. I'll start incorporating smell and feeling into the process a bit later.

[Latro]

Day 26 (5.3.)

 

Basic day. Passive forcing throughout. Started hearing Hestia's thoughts, as it were, still faint. Got some two-sided conversation going for a while.

 

Day 27 (6.3.)

 

I can hear Hestia's thoughts quite clearly now. Full, intelligent sentences and funny remarks every now and then. This all came out of the blue, and I'm still a little overwhelmed, but I'm happy. I'm not going to start proxying for her quite yet, but she wanted to say this:

 

H: Hello everyone!

[Latro]

Day 33 (11.3.)

 

Everything has changed now that Hestia is vocal. Now we do everything together and it's pure bliss. We watch a lot of TV, listen to music, cook, take showers together, etc. Imposition is also going well, but Hestia asked for wings so I'll need to visualize those perfectly too to impose them. However, I find that she's already imposed on some level. I know where she is and I can actually already see her in a way I cannot quite explain.

 

H: Hey everyone! I've had much fun with Latro these past few days. I'm eager to see what the future holds. Thanks to all of those who gave us tips and guidance!

[Latro]

Day 36 (14.3.)

 

Imposition is not the easiest part of all this by no measure, but the most fun nonetheless. Also, her voice has more clarity each passing day and we talk a lot. I got a hearty laugh today when I tried to teasingly woo her but she just called me a 'dirty frenchman'.

 

Anyway, about imposition. She's imposed on some level and she spends a lot of time interacting with me in reality. She's transparent and I cannot technically see her, though I sometimes forget that, because I always know where she is and what she's doing. It's quite strange. I'm also trying to impose her voice, but I'm not sure how I will do that...

 

Any advice on imposition would be golden and we would be both very grateful for it.

 

H: What he said.

[Latro]

Day 198 (27.9.)

 

It's been quite a while since my last update. I was in basic training so I think you'll understand. I'll start updating this PR again now that I have the time. I don't expect, and never have really, that anyone reads these entries with any great interest, but I mainly write this for the sake of introspection. However, if someone bothers to give input, it's more than welcome and I'll be sure to reply.

 

I haven't been spending a lot of time with my tulpa, let alone done any forcing, and that's a great shame (cue the booing audience). Anyway, that's not to say she isn't "alive" anymore. She is, very much so, but we haven't made any progress in terms of imposition etc. during all this time. I hope to change that now.

 

H: I'll make sure he works his ass off.