Memnoch, the [tiny] Devil, -or- How's Zeta doing?

[Zeta]

In most of the forums I've gone to there's been an "introductions" section, where you're

supposed to make pleasantries and such before any real interaction on the forum. As I

don't see one here, i'm going to jump right in and hope I don't get anyone (too) annoyed.

 

I started out with a basic premise, and the Tupla I'm creating sort of followed that example.

It's themed as a... well, something like a cross between an Imp and a small Demon. I've

been described as being "The basic equivalent of a “Real Life WoW Warlock" by one of my

friends, and the idea of a tiny demon with me just kind of fits. Accordingly, and because I'm

a total vampire nerd, I decided Memoch fit for a name.

 

Trait wise I've only got a basic idea -- I've purposely avoided putting too much in to what I

want the Tulpa to be. Mainly because it's going to be a friend, and I feel like I shouldn't be

controlling my friends. Well, not unless it's *really* necessary :-P I figured it's loyal, mostly

understanding, affectionate but sarcastic, with dry humor and a tendancy towards

acrobatics simply because it's bored. And it'll probably like to ride on my shoulders a lot.

 

Spent the last three days narrating as much as I could. I'm not terribly good at it yet, and I

don't really talk a lot in real life unless I'm in exposition mode. I have a job that's incredibly

monotonous, however, and it's allowed me to mostly narrate constantly while I'm there with

short breaks.

 

Estimated hour cont, Narration: 15-20. (I'm not keeping exact track, hour counts are evil

according to others I've seen on here). No responses yet that I can tell, aside from odd

pressures in my head whenever I say the Tulpa's name to get it's attention for talking to it.

For the form, I'm mostly waiting until an artist friend comes back with a drawing for helping

me visualize. Hopefully that wont take too long.

[Zeta]

Quite a bit has happened in the span of my update gap. Following some company which made it significantly difficult to narrate at any decent pace (I went from an average of six to eight hours straight down to perhaps ten to fifteen minutes for almost a week) I managed to get back on track, but changed my style to suit a more laid back, all-day approach, commenting on things that were going on, asking questions and waiting for responses, etc.

 

One thing that I found helped me immensely is meditation. I picked back up some meditative practices I had discontinued about a year ago, and added concentration exercises. One of the meditation forms I use has you examine "where" a thought is coming from in your brain, as well as pay attention to it's "tenor" or "voice." It was shortly after reintroducing this practice that I began to notice out of place emotions and pressures in my head when I asked questions of Memnoch.

 

Shortly after this discovery, I began to get seemingly out of place words. I say seemingly out of place, because although they were usually said in my voice (or, more correctly, my voice it I were to use the lower vocal chords instead of the higher ones I normally speak with) the words in my brain didn't have the same "feel" or "tenor" as my normal thoughts do. This has steadily built over the past four or so days, and I'm now holding full conversations. The voice responds to "Memnoch" and most of the time surprises me with what it says, but I do catch some times when it feels like my thoughts "start" what I hear the voice say. I usually stop, clear my mind (meditation bonus I've learned) and ask the voice to repeat itself -- Sometimes I hear the same thing again, without my "starter" feeling, but sometimes I hear something completely different. Has this happened to anyone else? This problem has continued for the last week, but it's still early in the process for me, and I'm noticing conversing gets easier the more I do it.

 

Speaking of said voice, as I said it responds to "Memnoch." I chose not to do any personality work at all, and let the particulars of the personality fill themselves in automagically (pardon the horrible pun). The result is... rather surprising. Although the voice started as my own lower voice and, given the intended form I had expected a male voice, it has since gradually morphed into more feminine tones. And multiple times corrected me on her name. She apparently dislikes when I refer to her by the shorter name "Mem," and prefers to hear the full name instead. Also doesn't seem to like many nicknames either. (This is hard on me, I have a habit of calling women I'm close with by 'dear', 'hun', 'sweetie' and the like).

 

Another odd thing I've noticed is that when she speaks, my attention has to really shift to hear her, and I lose focus on anything that I'm doing at the moment. This doesn't always happen voluntarily, either -- I was having a conversation with my boss the first night, paying sole attention to him, and Memnoch piped up to say she/he found my boss annoying. Although it was just two words at the time, I completely lost focus on what my boss was saying and missed a chunk of the conversation. This doesn't particularly worry me, but it might be bad if it happened while I was driving.

 

The plus side of this seems to be that if I'm not deluding myself amazingly, I seem to have relatively few problems sorting things out. Still having trouble listening for when she addresses me on her own -- most of the time I think of her before she says something, although she usually complains that she's been trying to get my attention for a while at that point. Emotions do seem to come up spontaneously much more often.

 

The voice/Memoch (to be honest, I'm still a little uneasy at this stage, but I'm trying to trust the process) has been pretty adamant that it would like me to work on it's body. My artist friend hasn't contacted me with the finished product that I'd asked for, but I've been talked into the actual focing aspect of the work regardless. Sat down for a short session last night, a little less than a half hour.

 

I quickly learned that despite my initial conception of her as something like the type of Demon you'd find in woodcuts, any work that I tried to do while defining her form has resulted in the visualization morphing into something significantly, erm, "Prettier," than what I'd initially intended. The basic size has stayed the same, but it looks significantly like a black version of Namah from Dreamkeepers. (Don't ask me why, I *really* don't know. Given that Namaah is the name of a Jewish Demon I really shouldn't be all that surprised.)

 

Aaand that's about all for now. I promised the Voice/Memnoch that I would do more forcing today, so I'm going to go do that now -- I've putzed around enough as it is.

 

Narration time: Roughly 32 hours, give or take. Only a few actual hours worth of conversation, with one liners, odd laughter and other indefinables slipping though occasionally. Actual forcing time? Not enough.