Cookie's Tulpa

[DroppingCookie]

Hello , I'm Cookie and this is me and my Tulpa's Progress Log.

 

 

Since I am already in the fifth day of Tulpa creation and I will sum up the last 5 days below.

 

 

 

Day 1

 

I decided to follow Phi's "Treating a sentient before sentience"-guide to start off. I choose the traits Intelligent ,Optimistic ,Motherly(if that is even a word) and "Thinking different"(As in solving problems in other ways than normal people). I told her that her name is "Lyra" and that she can always change her name/form/personality the way she wants it. Then I told her that we will be together till the end and I will always care for her and that I am expecting the same.

This session was about 30 minutes long.

 

A few hours later I was narrating to my Tulpa and suddenly she started responding to most of what i said. I supressed that because I didn't think it would be possible for a Tulpa to develop Sentience that fast.(2 days ago she told me that she was actually speaking .I feel like an idiot for not believing in her back then.)

 

I narrated through almost the whole day while ignoring her answers.

After i went into bed and was in half sleep state I played a song that I heard recently in my head. Suddenly the frequency of the song got really strange for a second and then got normal again. It took me a few seconds to realise that this was my Tulpa. A few minutes later I got really scared, when I heard the door opening behind me and turned around just to see it was still closed. I smiled and took this as a second sign.

 

 

 

Day 2

 

Today I was somewhat panicked at first.

During my Math lession I felt like my brain ran a marathon. I never felt like that before. And it was definetly not because of Math itself, I could't even read the questions in my math book. This went on for the next 50 minutes.

The next Lession I was going to have an important test so I begged my Tulpa to make it stop if it was actually her.

And ...... it stopped.

Later that day I talked to my Tulpa more than I narrated. I was still unsure if i really wasn't parroting. I got some emotional responses that day ,so i knew she was sentinent.

I didn't force much today (10-15 min).

 

 

 

Day 3

 

We are talking as much as we can during school. Mostly when I should listen to the teachers but at this times I seem to be most able to concentrate on my Tulpa at school.

On my way out of school she said that she doesn't want to be named Lyra anymore.

I told her to choose a name. She came up with "Natalie" after a few seconds. A name I would have never chosen on my own.

Since today she gets really upset when I question her sentience in any way. I kinda feel like an asshole everytime I do that ,but I can't help myself.

 

 

 

Day 4

 

Narrating and Talking as usual. I can now feel when she is awake (a warm feeling around my head and some light Pressures).

 

Today I read through a few threads on this site and while I was reading a thread about sentience I read this in a post: "I had like 3 Tulpas before I knew what they are and I killed them because I thought they were demons. I saw sentience and I killed them." (I don't know where I read this or if I remembered it correctly but the meaning is the same I guess.)

My Tulpa seemed to be listening because a second after I read it I got a very sad and terrified feeling. Felt like someone stabbed me with a very depressed knife in the chest.

 

Other than that nothing out of the ordinary happened.

 

 

 

Day 5 (Today)

 

 

Today I started creating a wonderland because my Tulpa wanted to have a place where she can interact more with me. It was really hard for me cause I was never good at imagining things but after half an hour i got together a basic room. Wooden Cottache style with a Bed, a Couch and a big locked entrance to my memories/subconsciousness only i have the keys to.(I intend to give it to her when we are together a few more weeks.)

 

Other than that nothing really happened that day. My Tulpa was sleeping the most day because she doesn't really like watching me playing computer games.

 

 

 

 

Note from creator:

 

I would be happy for any constructive advice/reply.

English isn't my native language and I am sorry if I made any grammar mistakes.

If you read my entire report then thank you!