Doug_Norms Ballroom

[Doug_Norm]

Hello all. First time Tulpamancer here.

 

First off, thank you to everyone who had a part in the building of this website. It's really helped me out immensely in my start up of Nia (the current name of my tulpa to be).

I'm currently writing this after my 3rd forcing and I'm still a little giddy from what had been in, my very limited knowledge, a (somewhat) successful attempt.

 

This is a blog about my tulpa making, not me so ill be quick on the reasons for building her.

1: Curiosity.

2: Companionship.

3: Potential Usefulness.

4: Brain training.

 

So I'll just get right into it. I will describe my earlier forcings (I couldn't write them down until now because of the 3 day wait after making an account). It's only 2 others besides today's one so not an issue.

 

-May 30, 2013-

My first attempt at a forcing. A few days after I had learned about Tulpa's. After reading the guides over and over and scouring the forums of tulpa.info, I believed I was ready to begin. I had already thought up a name for her that I liked. Nia. I knew that this could easily change, I wasn't even sure she would stay female. But It just sort of clicked.

 

So I sat at my computer, turned out the lights, put my headphones on with beach sounds playing, turned off the monitor and closed my eyes. Deciding to use the wonderland method, I began to create a calm beach around me. Or should I say try to. Sure I was able to remember what a beach looks like and impose it on my minds eye. But it was very tunnel vision-esque. I look up and think there's blue sky's, but I instantly forget the feeling of sand on my feet I had spent the last 5 minutes creating. The only thing that stayed a constant was the beach sounds, but that was because of beach sound generator. After a while I became content with the vague idea that I was on a beach and continued on.

 

Next I created two white beach chairs beside a white round table with a white umbrella on it. I found this a lot easier than the beach. Seeing as how they were pretty simple items and this was where I was going to conduct my forcing of Nia so I was able to focus on them a lot easier. But being a little miffed about the beach I decided to go all out on the chairs at least (where Nia was about to "sit"). So I focused very closely on the very structure of the chair. We were on a beach with constant sun and salty wind beating it. So of course the white paint on it was cracked, so I moved my hands across it and "felt" the cracked paint. The dry feeling of the chair, but it was also warm. Inviting.

 

I can't remember if I sat down in the other chair, but I'm pretty sure I didn't. Thinking about it now I'm a little annoyed with myself seeing as how I created the other chair for myself. It no longer matters now seeing as how I might not see the chair or the beach again (because of what happened in my latest forcing, but I digress).

 

Now the moment of greatness. What I've been doing research and research to do. It was time to create the first formation of Nia. Staring upon the seat of the beach chair I concentrated. Building, building, forming, forming. Idea became essence. Essence became form. Form became structure. Structure became.... leather? And sitting upon the white bleached chair was..... a choker.

 

Somehow I had decided on an abject to focus my forcing on instead of a human shape. It turned out to be one of those dress chokers you'd see a woman wear with a nice dress or gown. Thin black leather with a small silver pendant on the front. Deciding to just roll with it, I decided to tell "her" about my day. Finding it hard to focus her shape and also narrate my day (which was honestly just a boring day of work) I kept tripping over my words and having to start my sentences over. I also seemed to be having trouble keeping her still and keeping her shape. At one point the silver pendant turned from a more circle shape to an oval one, and for some reason that just wrecked my concentration. The oval started to spin on its axis with the leather of the choker staying still. It took me a long time and a lot of will power to finally keep it still, but finally I was able to continue with my narration.

 

As a little more time passed and as my days narration was coming to its end the choker began to (as best I can describe) change. It was a choker, but the style, color, shape, size, material, everything kept changing. Oh boy, I thought, time to think really hard again. After a few moments of literally no progress on either going back to its original shape or even keeping it at any shape for a length of time I decided to allow it to continue to change. I just continued on with my narration as she changed and changed and changed. To my astonishment suddenly she was there. A human form.

 

It was extremely vague, like a rough draft of a human woman. But i was able to pick out some details, and to be honest most of them were physical traits i day-dreamed about while thinking about making a Tulpa. She was "human" human, not anime style or comic style, but realistic (if it means anything I had been hoping to make an anime girl but like it seems to be my course of actions with the forcing I'm just rolling with it). Long black hair, angular slightly sharp facial structure, thin neck and slender shoulders, modest breasts (had to focus on these, shutup, or they would like sort of disappear and become just flat skin like from a persons back) and slightly curved hips.

 

I was sort of caught off guard but continued to narrate my day while focusing on the vague woman. At one point she actually took off the choker and through it away. Whether or not that was subconscious or me I still don't know, but again I rolled with it. After my narration was done I closed down the force and called it a day.

 

I'll post day two next

---

-May 31, 2013-

 

So this time I decided to work on her form and to give her form physicality. I began to use my wonderland beach but I'm pretty sure that went away after I started on Nia. I guess I started using a non space or something.

 

Anyways, I tried to bring up the vague woman shape from the last session. It was pretty easy seeing as how she wasn't fleshed out any. Honestly this report if going to be pretty short. It was mostly straight forward. I visualized her and physically touched her whole body giving her structure and moved her body with my mind to get the right body movement downs (yeah I know, I'm not going to do THAT anymore). I really enjoyed her hair and how silky it was. I think I will try to make it smell of green apple shampoo.

 

And yeah that was pretty much my 2nd forcing.

 

Brb posting 3rd

[Doug_Norm]

-June 1, 2013- (today)

 

So begin my 3rd forcing.

 

This time I decided I would give her her personality. So I visualized her again, made her more physical by feeling her up again. I started to do the facial expressions combined with the connected emotions for a while. But then I moved onto the big 5. With each personality trait I gave her I visualized it as a stream of color going into her head.

 

OPENNESS: Very practical and logical, but believing anything could be true. But its not actually true unless with proof. A disgust with blind belief if you will.

NEUROTICISM: The definition of cool and relaxed. Not bothered easily or stressed out by the happenings around her.

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS: Very strict and orderly. Formal and professional. But at times can be open to going out and having fun, but only when appropriate.

AGREEABLENESS: Able to understand the feelings of people around her, but usually doesn't enjoy acting upon this knowledge. She's very independent and believes those around her should be as well.

EXTROVERSION: Very quite and reserved. Sometimes seems cold (when in fact she is emotional), but at rare times shows her passion for the people she cares about.

 

About half way through this process I got the urge to give her clothes. Just popped in my head. Red formal dress. Needless to say she was quite beautiful. Long flowing red dress, her long black hair tied up in a bun. She had a necklace (I can't recall what kind), earrings and just a little bit of makeup.

 

I continued to work on her personality when her body started to freak out. It was sort of like the when she was still a choker and the silver pendant kept spinning. But this time it was her body, I couldn't seem to keep her body from spinning around. After time, I became exasperated and out of of desperation I grabbed her shoulders to keep her still. It worked a little but sometimes she kept swinging back and forward a little. Deciding to just go all out I pulled her toward me in a hug. It was... an experience. So I'm not exactly a social person, so the only hugs I ever get are from family. So this hug felt pretty different, I had to work at imagining the feeling of the hug (warmth, feeling of the dress). All I can say was it was very nice.

 

At some point (it may have had something to do with the formal dress) I decided we were in an empty ball room with classical music playing. I took her hand in mine and began to dance. I decided for the simple box dance. I had to focus just of the feet movement for me at first but after it became routine and focused again on her. I had to stop a few times because I found myself going out into 3rd person (watching us dance) instead of first person.

 

So uh.... hmmm. She's very beautiful. I found myself thinking that and I kid you not she smiled. Again I'm not going to assume sentience right away, but I'm not dismissing it. And then I got another shock. She moved up to kiss me. No joke. It surprised me so much I got shocked out of the force, but I felt giddy and excited.

 

We danced a little more but I realized we hadn't finished her traits. So I visualized a a table with chairs in the corner and led her there. I pull the chair out for her and sat down as well. Then I finished the traits. But still feeling a high I held out my hand for another dance. We danced again for a while, and feeling more then satisfied I ended the force.

 

So yeah, this force was a few hours ago and I'm still feeling really good about it. I'm probably going to make the ballroom at least part of my wonderland (hence the thread name) seeing as how I naturally did it and its simple to create. Also I think it may end up matching her very well, along with the dress.

 

Until next time.