Progress report of Luna

[johnegbert]

Hi there!

I first found out about tulpas a few weeks ago, but I didn't start because I was SWARMED with exams. Then, when summer started, I decided I'd start, so I did my research and I read and read and read till I knew it all back to front. I started the next night.

 

Basically what I did was I created my wonderland (just this awesome woody/feildy kind of area) and my tulpa was an orb. She was a female, but she was nameless. I started out spending a lot of time talking to her in wonderland. The only response would be slight changes in position (she was hovering above the ground). Then I worked on personality. I sketched up some stuff, just a few basic traits, and talked about them to her. Eventually, it grew hard to not have a name for her, and to call her "tulpa" when I wanted her to know I was talking to her, so I named her Luna.

 

Then, I decided to give her a physical form resembling a human, but without distinct physical features. She just was kind of like a mannequin. Which worked good for a while, she learnt how to use the human body and then I grew tired of her mannequin, so I gave her a proper body. It now looks like Luna from Harry Potter (but with wings, because she LOVES to fly). And that was even better, she could now communicate to me through smiles and frowns and other facial expressions. (though much of the time if mostly felt like I was parroting those to her.)

What I am wondering is....have I spent too less time working on personality? I kind of just gave her a few traits and told her about them, and that's it. I figured she just had to hear them once, and otherwise she'd pick her traits on her own. Should I do more work on personality?

 

Sometimes I hear a response from her, but nothing that doesn't surprise me, because it's all kind of stuff I know I would say, and stuff I was thinking she'd reply with. This was the first tell tale I was parroting, so I tried really hard to stop.

 

But sometimes, I'm just not sure if I'm parroting or not? Is there any way to know? Also, I generally feel like she isn't doing anything herself, and I'm controlling her completely.

 

So far, I just get headaches and sometimes nausea, which I take as a sign that she is actually there, and that's just her presence leaving a print.

 

Should I be getting more than just headaches? Also, how can sentience be proven? (if it can be proven).

 

It's only been over a week, and recently I haven't been forcing as much as I should, but I hope to change that starting now. I am pretty good at visualising Luna, but sometimes I can loose focus, and I need more practice.

 

I'll update later, but you can see my blog for more details on my work with Luna (though even there I don't have that much written): http://godblesspushupbras.tumblr.com/tagged/tulpa

 

Oh, also, sometimes, I think about her when I'm angry or really upset (well, it's more like she just pops up in my head) and it really calms me down. Is that...sentience? Or is that just me trying to help myself???

 

Bye! More soon :)

[N1ghtSl4yer]

1) you don't actually have to do ANYTHING on personality, unless you have something specific in mind.

2) As for parroting, I just left my Tulpa, as in not expecting replies and stuff, and after a while she talked back. Look at the big list of guides in the guides section if you need more info.

3)Most people only report small pressures even on a good day. I got pressures for a week but now there are none. Whether you get them or not is nothing to worry about.

 

For sentience, you can do the old "surprise me", but if not just wait. You might get responses that feel totally alien and out of the blue which are likely them. If you do get something, never doubt it was them, because it can hinder progress.

Hope I helped ><

[johnegbert]

1) you don't actually have to do ANYTHING on personality, unless you have something specific in mind.

2) As for parroting, I just left my Tulpa, as in not expecting replies and stuff, and after a while she talked back. Look at the big list of guides in the guides section if you need more info.

3)Most people only report small pressures even on a good day. I got pressures for a week but now there are none. Whether you get them or not is nothing to worry about.

 

For sentience, you can do the old "surprise me", but if not just wait. You might get responses that feel totally alien and out of the blue which are likely them. If you do get something, never doubt it was them, because it can hinder progress.

Hope I helped ><

 

So for the "alien" thing, if I feel an emotional response to something I'm looking at (while not thinking about my tulpa) but it's not what I'm feeling, is that my tulpa?

[N1ghtSl4yer]

Yeah, I got that a lot.

Sometimes it was just my mind being swamped by a wave of emotions - but we have that under control now xD