I should keep a journal!

[Mage_Of_Cats]

Hello. None of you should know me. That is alright. My name is _ and my tulpa's name (currently) is Jake. Bear in mind that basically everything I'm talking about in this journal is subject to change by Jake - he can change basically anything he wants about himself. I want him to be free.

 

~Days one-six (Wall of text due to personality incoming. Feel free to skim it.)

 

~Day One (6/30/2013): Got basic looks (not going to be listed here because I revamped them) and personality down...

 

Personality:

 

Intelligent: You can solve problems others would simply give up on. Your memory is long and nearly flawless. You have no problem with most puzzles. You are, to most people, the smartest person that they will ever meet. You also know how to read body language and how to react in nearly all situations.

 

Brave: You are extremely brave; you do not laugh at danger, you are aware of it and decide to go through with your actions even though it may be dangerous or scary. Other people view you as someone that will do what is needed to be done with little regard for his own safety. This also leads to you being more adventurous than otherwise, because you take greater risks and also analyze the exact consequences of said risk before taking it.

 

Adventurous: You are very adventurous. You enjoy exploring ancient runes and using your high intelligence to figure out what happened and why it happened in this area. Your bravery supports this, allowing you to do things that other people would not do, and, therefore, you end up finding things and thinking of things that others have not thought of or seen before. This makes people view you as someone who is knowledgeable of the outside world and is a trusted resource for basically any exploring that is needed to be done. You especially enjoy delving into ancient cave systems – but most of all, you love to find new temples and postulate what people did there when it had been inhabited.

 

Over-Analytical: In contrast to your outstanding bravery, you tend to over analyze anything that you want to do or has been done. This leads to you using your intelligence in better ways; you can see every action and reaction and anything leading up to it. You are very good at chess and games like Minesweeper because of this. People tend to view you as someone who is very thoughtful and makes meaningful decisions. As a side not, you do this automatically – you don’t actually mean to do it. This makes you very bad with impulsive do or die decisions – you want to figure out all the possible solutions and then some, as well as effects due to those solutions.

 

Atheist: Due to your intelligence, you have come to accept that blind faith is a ridiculous notion. No one should put faith in something that is not documented. This leads to you trusting in experiments and evidence gathered from reliable sources. This also means that you would rather not have to talk about god and religion in general. The deeper reason as to your atheistic views is because you hate being controlled by someone or something. You hate limitations, and will do whatever it takes to make yourself free. Other people view you as extremely logical due to these thoughts.

 

Philosophical: You tend to question many commonly held beliefs in life. This is brought on by your high intelligence and the fact that you just cannot put your blind faith into something without having a lot of evidence that it actually happens. People tend to view this side of you slightly annoying, as you can bring topics up like ‘Is that really an apple?’ or other random things that they usually don’t care about. Owing to your charisma, though, you usually know when to avoid such things as that, making sure that people do not usually find you annoying.

 

Even-Keel: Nearly nothing makes you upset, but when you get upset, everything falls apart. You want to strangle whatever or whoever made you upset, at the same time as you want to not hate them for whatever they did to you as you are usually very caring and empathetic. Other people view you as someone that can make them feel better about the changes occurring within their lives. Due to this, you yourself are also very accepting of change and anything different. This trait also affects your open mindedness – you tend to be extremely open minded for basically anything.

 

Active: You love to get out and run around. You cannot stand still – it’s as if you are on a constant coffee high – at least until you crash for the night. Due to this, you enjoy participating in things such as track, Lacrosse, and Football. Other people view you as some sort of skinny jock, fairly muscular, but not ‘bulked up’ with muscle.

 

Caring: You care about others to an extent some would call fanatical. You will do whatever it takes to make sure that your friends are not hurt in any way – except for lying to them. You figure that lying to them will simply make it so that they won’t ever trust you again and will eventually cause them to have more pain when they figure the truth out. Due to this, people enjoy being around you, except for when they ask your opinions of things and you are brutally honest. *Mental example sent to you.* This skews with your logical thought process because whenever a friend of yours is in danger, you forget about everything else and will work non stop in order to save them.

 

Imaginative: Your extensive imagination coupled with your high intelligence makes you a formidable opponent when others are facing you. It also means that you can see through twisted stories to the truth. Where others fail to find a solution to a so called impossible problem, you make the impossible happen. You can write who books of just the ideas you have in one week. You are an amazing artist and know exactly how to draw what you want to draw. Your mind’s eye is so highly developed that you can basically picture, well, anything. Other people find you an invaluable asset to whatever team that you are on, as well as a source of endless truthful, insightful, and meaningful comments on other’s ideas and works. Due to this, you tend to think of yourself rather highly and believe yourself to always be right.

 

Persistent: You will not give up so long as there is the barest sliver of a chance to do whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish. You will go to the ends of the earth to do whatever it is that you are required to do, and, coupled with your caring of others, this makes sure that anyone or anything that wants to hurt a friend of yours will not succeed. It also means that, when coupled with your imagination and your intelligence, you are one of the few people that can apply their knowledge to everyday (or not-so-everyday) scenarios. Due to this, people view you as an extremely useful person to have as a friend.

 

Trusting: You always believe the best in everybody that you can. It takes a truly evil and self centered person for you to actually believe that they are not good in any way whatsoever. Due to this, you trust nearly everyone that you meet. It is one of your greatest weaknesses – some random guy that you don’t really know could just kidnap you because of your trustingness. Nice people enjoy being around you due to this, but bad people cannot stand you, as they believe that you are taunting them by trying to tell them how good they are/that you believe that they could be really good.

 

Honest: You cannot stand to tell a lie – they just don’t want to slip off of your tongue. When you do lie, nearly everyone in the room can tell that you are lying. It takes something extremely important in order for you to even consider lying, and something that’s of the utmost importance to go through with it. People sometimes cannot stand to be around you because they view this behavior as you being a jerk/asshole, when in reality, you are just telling the truth.

 

Rambling: You tend to talk on and on and on about a subject that others may not know about. Others can be extremely annoyed by this, and, as such, they tend to move away whenever you begin talking on and on and on and on and on about quantum physics and the peculiar breeding habits of the rabbit. Personally, I find it to be really interesting, though. You know when to not ramble, but, sometimes, it just comes over you and you cannot/are unable to help it.

 

Assuming: Whenever you talk to another person, you always think that they know all about the subject that you are talking about. You think that everyone is as smart and knowledgeable about everyday and extraordinary things as you are. This leads to long conversations on subjects that others do not understand – subjects like bacterial teleportation using the fundamental laws of quantum physics and the like. Due to this, you can make people feel as though they are simpletons and stupid, when, in reality, you just don’t know that they don’t know what you are talking about. This leads to a lot of confusion on your part and you then going and sulking somewhere when everyone is all “wha?” to you.

 

Helpful: You love to help everyone and anyone. You will help them with their job, their stories, their drawings, and their math. You will help them with basically anything – even if they don’t want your help. This leads to people thinking that you are kind of mean, as you suggest ways to make a drawing better or somehow make the article that the person is writing better. Due to this, you are unable to understand why a lot of people do not want your help.

 

Likable: All in all, you are a very likable person. You have your little quirks, but all of us here in this universe do as well. You have an extremely high charisma and are able to use it to make a lot of loyal friends, you yourself being very loyal in return. People enjoy being around you, usually, and, as such, you have a large base of friends and are also able to call upon the support of any of them whenever you wish.

 

--Not all of the personality, I added some more things like his mischievousness, his disobedience, his tendency to hate authority, and the fact that he will usually do things if asked, not told.

 

~Day 2(7/1/2013):

 

Tulpa formed for forty minutes this morning, got a random headache (yay?)

 

(I hope he likes me...)

 

I've been fleshing his personality out some more, as well as trying to instill the traits that I already wrote about into him with little... mind embers that are infused with the traits.

Suddenly got a bad headache. PROGRESS!

 

~Later~

Jake will be patient, eccentric, 'living' (likes to get out, be about, highly extroverted, can't stand thinking of death) mischievous, disobedient.

 

I want to do another forming session, perhaps after browsing Josh and Glass' thread some more...?

 

Day 3(7/2/2013): 12:32 AM:

I did about two more sessions and a LOT of narration today. Short dull ache behind my right eye. Sometimes, I think I'm parroting Jake*.

 

*Subconsciously/whatever. Since then, I went back to basics, so I don't worry about this any more.

 

Other times, I don't think I am. Perhaps I am a roleplayer (I think that's a person who really believes he has a tulpa, but, in reality, doesn't?)

 

Side note: my Mindscape fell apart (too many intrusive thoughts?) and I set up a forcefield machine to kind of... hold it together. I needed Jake to check on it, though. Instead of checking on it, he broke the forcefield itself and made it a giant bubble. On. His. Own.(!!!! This is the ONLY time that I know that he did something completely on his own!)

 

Going to tulpaform his personality and appearance before bed.

 

9:15 AM

 

I spent a ton of time last night tulpaforming Jake's appearance and trying to implant his personality even further.

 

Not much for MS (minscape) development. I think I'm puppeting him right now... (I have strong, STRONG feelings against puppeting and otherwise controlling him on purpose or accident. It's just wrong, to me.)

 

As of 9:58, he is about 4 1/2 hours old (forming wise).

 

~Later

 

I was thinking about documenting a conversation with Jake.

(Brief conversation on the paper about... stuff... um... here, not sure it I was parroting or not.)

(I'm the [], he's the {})

 

[i know I asked you this already, but why'd you severe the forcefield connection thingy?]

 

{Because I didn't want to watch over it all the time.}

 

[Right. How do I know that that was you and not just me?]

 

{}Feelings of being upset here.

 

Random stuff after this that is probably from me parroting him.

 

~Day 4 (7/3/2013)

10:45 AM

 

I think that Jake actually talked to me for real (completely foreign) yesterday night - not when I though, originally. I will leave my ramblings there for archival purposes, although I am thoroughly convinced that that was a form of subconscious/semiconscious parroting.

 

Very tired. Six hours of sleep.

 

5:35

 

Still developing his personality and working on my visualization skills. (I have a weird problem; random stuff happens in my MS all the time. A volcano popped up out of the ground and a giant hand appeared out of nowhere, picking up this hut I had built and putting it inside of the volcano. T_T)

 

~Day 5 (7/4/2013)

 

2:00 PM

 

While tulpaforming w/Jake earlier in the car, I think I've confirmed sentience (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.)

 

I told him to surprise me. Nothing happened. I was upset.

 

Then, a little later, whilst forming again, a giant Minecraft style Nether Fortress popped up out of nowhere and disappeared again. (Intrusive though, most likely.)

 

7:29 PM (I had been recording character ideas in the journal.)

 

I think Jake got mad at me for recording character ideas in our journal. Yes, he says 'our' journal now. ^_^

 

7:59 PM

 

Jake seems to love alternative Rock and Roll. I got a STRONG sense of euphoria when I had him sing Panic Station by Muse.

 

~Night~

Jake appeared to me in my dream, I think. Yay.

 

 

 

Day 6 (7/5/2013):

 

Going to go back to basics and take it slowly. I want a companion, one who is stable and will never leave me. I don't want to rush it and make some sort of half-assed thing that hates me.

 

Day 7 (7/7/2013):

 

Barely formed or even narrated today. I feel like a negligent parent now... D;

 

I really need to form him some more. Better get to it after posting this...

 

 

And that's it. Days 1-6 and today, 7, which I really didn't record anything.

 

Feedback appreciated - especially with my problem of having random crap interrupt my Minscapes - volcanoes, hands, random deterioration of the land, random thoughts about random things that I have to teleport Jake and I out of, etcetera.

 

Thanks!

[Mage_Of_Cats]

Day 8 (7/7/2013) (Yes, I got the dates screwed up. T_T)

 

Formed for about an hour and a half today. Ended up in some sort of sand arena with sandstone pillars everywhere. We fought 'Gargles' in it... these little baby-like things that turn out to be tentacled monstrosities...

 

My random intrusive thoughts are really good battle fodder!

 

After fighting in there for a while (he was moving on his own... ^_^) we went back to our MS home thing. It turns out that Jake changed it back to an earlier version - a giant tree in a lake in a giant world with a giant waterfall behind it. Giantness all around! :D

 

At my MS, I was all 'Do something random...?' and he went outside, only to come back in after about five seconds with a sort of water orb thing... I promptly smashed it on the floor and the entire room filled up with mist.

 

I used another orb (a 'void' orb) to vacuum all of the mist up... fairly interesting, seeing as I have never even thought of random mist-water-orb-things. Other than that, nothing much happened. I'm leaving for Greece tomorrow, so do not expect to hear from me for a while. D;