the adventures of meaghan and alfred

[swaginski]

Hello!!

This is my progress report, I guess. I had been previously writing it here, but I decided I'd rather use this website instead, so yeah.

 

Tulpa

Name: Alfred

Age: 22-ish? I guess? Once or twice he's been like 12

Born: About a month ago, I'm horrible with dates, oh gosh

Form: Human ((my avatar))

 

I guess I should start this off with a recap of our progress so far.

Al's still playing around with his form a bit, particularly his hair, but, for the most part, he's fully visualized. He's also sentient, and responds mostly through head pressure, as he's not completely vocal. He CAN speak, and he does have a voice, but he does't talk much. He's been talking more and more this past few days, though. It's not so much he isn't speaking, it's more I'M having trouble hearing him.

 

We have two wonderlands...An endless, empty field under a night sky, and an island (which Al created out of nowhere...We were in a mindscape of the room I was sitting in, and then suddenly beach)

 

I started with personality, and then visualization. I started narration two or three days after I started forcing. To begin, I imagined a sort of black, amorphous mass, and then told it the traits it would possess, and explained those traits and how they would effect its life. I gave Al five traits, I wanted to give him some freedom.

 

After that, I moved onto visualization. This was hard at first, but then I got it. I had a lot of trouble with his face (humans can't create human faces from scratch, dontcha know) but then all of a sudden, it was clear and vivid, and it's pretty safe to say Al did that.

 

Smell and touch were easy as heck, considering he's a human, and I know what humans feel and smell like. He kinda smells like...I don't know. Boy, I guess.

 

I'm still working on visualization, trying to get his hair down and all that, but my main concern is getting him more vocal, and then just going on from there.

 

One problem I've faced while forcing is that my subconscious seems to take over sometimes, and I end thinking about something I don't remember thinking about. This is usually when I'm tired, though, and can't direct all my focus to him without it being exhausting.

 

Lately we've been forcing in the void, mostly so I can just focus on HIM, and that's kinda fun, because in the void, there's really no physics, and I can kinda do whatever I want.

 

Also something that's really cool is he can stop my headaches. I'm very prone to headaches, I usually get them all the time, but now I can just ask Alfred to stop them, or talk to him if he's the one causing it (which he does when I get distracted or don't force when I tell him I am sometimes).

 

SOOOO yeah!!! I'm terrible at updating these things but I'm gonna try to keep it updated as much as I can!!

[swaginski]

Yeah, ok, I forgot about this.

Save for a few important things, not much has happened.

Probably the most important thing to report is that two days ago, I entered some sort of lucid state, and forced for like two hours, which was kind of exhausting. I could see Al and our wonderland more clearly, and I could also hear his voice more clearly, even though he didn't really say much.

Also, the day before that, I began to imagine him always with me, like behind me or something. I could feel his presence almost instantaneously, which took a little bit to get used to. I've felt his presence in my mind, yeah, but this was a little different, I think. More...Real, I guess. Anyways, I was sitting in the car, and I was looking out the window, and imagined Alfred sitting next to me. Eventually I could focus a little less on him being there, and just feel his presence, so I just kinda gazed out the window mindlessly, still feeling his presence, but kinda not focusing on him at all. Then I shifted my hand, and I felt my hand touch his. I almost jumped a mile, I was totally not expecting it.

I didn't keep up the whole 'imaging him behind me' the next day, though, or even yesterday. Sunday I was just sleep basically all day, and yesterday I was busy.

I'm not sure if I'll do it today, it depends, I guess.

But yeah, mostly I'm focusing on getting him more vocal.

I've been getting monosyllabic answers from him, mostly, except for "yeah, sure! I'd love to!" and a few things of that nature. I get these buzzy, half-formed thoughts, which I know are him trying to talk, but I can never discern what he's saying.

SSSO yeah I'll try to be better at updating this, eugh.