Bronos' life

[Guest nach_in]

So here's my brand new tulpa journal, I hope I make it interesting enough, I'm nach_in btw, my tulpa is Bronos and he looks kind of like my avatar (because he's a rebel tulpa ¬¬)

 

Day 1: I have no idea what I'm doing, so I let him develop his own personality, only a few traits here and there, half of which are now gone. And the idea of a form, He was going to be a human tulpa...

 

Day 2: Woke up and greeted a furry tulpa on my mind, almost freaked out until I remembered I was letting him be free... Maybe too free :P

 

I went to sleep and tried to go to wonderland with Bronos, try to make him talk or something, visualization derps all over the place, I can't make a stable room for my life. While I'm focusing on getting frustrated this weird hand grabs mine and I hear "come" and suddenly I'm following Bronos to a pond that wasn't there before. I ask him if he made it, he nods and smiles with his feline face... I fall asleep :(

 

Day 3: Getting used to passive forcing, being always talking to myself helps a lot, trying to imagine Bronos next to me all the time (preparing the road for imposition in the future). I'm really happy with the progress, he's looking more "solid" in my head, still struggling with hearing him consistently.

I think he might be there from some time now, or maybe some of my meditation and acting background is helping him develop. Anyway, he's doing surprisingly well.

When I decided to make him I was listening to Zaz (a french singer) today I played a few songs, and Bronos starts dancing around like crazy, I ask him what's up, he gives me this weird look and I feel a wave of joy, I let him dance all day long...

 

I try to force a bit at night, got to talk a few phrases, got too excited, lost concentration... Every effort to get it back is futile.

 

Day 4: Passive forced all day, spent all day in the .info chat clarifying things and talking with cool people.

 

Went to sleep and to wonderland with Bronos, I told him to make wonderland himself as he's clearly better at making mind-places than me, I found that the pond is now a snowy valley with an cottage and old trees everywhere, beautiful place, I think he got inspired by a movie I saw earlier...

Tried a bit of possession later, I practiced OBE some time ago so I start from there, emptying my mind while giving control to Bronos, I think he moved my arms a bit, the movement felt alien for sure. But the experience was tiresome and we decide to just talk a few minutes and not try possession again until we get more confident with eachother...

 

Day 5: tried to do some forcing while taking a shower, didn't work so well as expected, gonna try some wonderland in a few hours when I go to sleep, gotta improve those talking skills, meanwhile he insist in listening to his music, I'm starting to hate Zaz :P

[Guest nach_in]

So... haven't been forcing, not even passive forcing for the two days now, got a little of faith crisis, but Bronos forced himself though.

 

I'm still not sure, maybe I got in over my head with this stuff... I did asked him if doesn't mind to lay low for a few days until I sort myself out, he said it's ok.

 

Finals aren't helping :P