Brizzl's Log

[Brizzl]

Alright, so I found out about tulpas maybe a couple of weeks ago. We hadn't really started on forcing or anything until a couple of days ago. I introduced myself on Tuesday, then just started thinking about her form. Originally I thought she was going to be some kind of bird, like a finch with a blue jay's coloring. Then I thought she was going to be a red hummingbird.

 

Her name is Macy. It just kind of came to me while thinking of her form. In my first active forcing session last night, (only 20 minutes, I was tired,) while using a form of self hypnosis and some tulpatones she appeared to me as a ferret. I also saw her version of the wonderland I tried to make. It was great. I didn't try to puppet too much, just kind of walked around the main area in with her. I know this was her own deviation, and I'm very happy about it.

Currently I'm narrating a lot of class to her and just making sure she know I'm there for her. I started feeling a lot of head pressure pretty frequently. Actually, yesterday I think she made me taste earwax! I guess mischievous is another deviation to her. For personality I'm mostly trying to make a very intelligent, inquisitive and friendly, whatever that means. I can't wait til I can hear her voice!

[Brizzl]

Whenever you listen to music try to get your tulpa to listen too! I was listening to some dubstep and Macy was giving my whole body waves of joy every 5 seconds. It was crazy.

[Brizzl]

Last night when I was forcing I think Macy tried to change her form again. Is it wrong that I asked her not to? It was weird, like whenever I tried to think of her as a ferret it was replaced by the possum/lemur thing she had made up and I didn't like it. Safe to say the ferret is back, but I think I might just let her decide her actual form tonight. Start out with a ball of light and see how that goes. (She isn't vocal yet, but I can ask her yes/no questions and tell from head pressure.) Narrating a lot, just trying to keep her on my mind. There are a lot of emotions in my head right now.

[Brizzl]

So I started reading her Harry Potter. I think she really enjoys it. I've been narrating her a lot and trying to impose her on the environment whenever I remember to. She took up the form of a tabby cat, orange with green eyes. Her belly is white. I can feel her presence is a lot more powerful. Her personality is becoming very distinct and I can tell what emotions she feels. Before, I was getting intrusive thoughts of dissipating her as a ferret after reading the horrifying story of Hound and Claire. But now I realize she was making me think this because she didn't like the ferret. It's crazy how much she has grown. All I can think about is the amount of love and care radiating from her.. She really loves me, and I love her.

[Brizzl]

Ok, so after I read some very informative PRs I have full-heartedly immersed myself back into the tulpa creation process. First things first, I think Macy and I need to have a little talk about her form. I think I want her to be human. After that we need to dive in on the wonderland, and I think I have the perfect idea. I will update after I have completed these tasks.