Conceptualization of an Oracle

[BenjiTooManly]

Hello, you can call me Benji, and there is probably one thing which I kind suck.

 

I suck at making an introduction.

 

Simplifying my life job, my family condition is in a mess, and even my social life is okay-ish, I'm constantly depressed and unmotivated. I stumbled to this site by accident, when I was distracted from doing my school project.

 

OK, to cut the shit down, let met just talk my motivation to do this:

• Ronery
  

• BORED
  

 

I've been lurking around this forum for a few days and after reading most of the guides section, I decided to try and create my own tulpa.

 

About My Tulpa

 

http://selector-wixoss.wikia.com/wiki/Iona_Urazoe

Since I'm kind of lazy to create my own character, and considering that I can actually imagine quite good in anime sense, so I kinda went more anime-style visualization for more ease and conveniency. Also considering that she can easily deviate from his design easily from here.

 

Also

>mfw when people makes tulpa within 2 weeks

[BenjiTooManly]

Day 3 (Since I started Earlier)

1/12/2014

 

Holy shiet...

Did I just realize that in a month away and we are going to celebrate our new year?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA MUST FINISH TULPA BEFORE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

 

Visualisation is pretty clear to somewhat not sure, it feels like looking through a camera sometimes during visualization attempt. Sometimes zooming in abit seems to help to reconstruct the entire thing, sometimes, the images just distorts itself.

 

Not sure if it's Iona's presence, but I somehow could feel it, maybe slightly, or maybe it is just me. But hey, earlier then, there was this weird feeling that which I would describe, when I go through my sad periods, suddenly resonating. Not sure if it is a placebo or not, but tried to replicate the feeling and ended up feeling a little, or even fail to feel it back.

 

Anyway, Wonderland is still looking bad. Couldn't think anything much as of making a world with skies and just still water, albeit it is still kinda hard to try and feel Iona's presence. Time will tell.

 

Today's awfully a bad day, getting interrupted all the day when trying to visualize and going into wonderland into doing some chores. Hopefully I can get more time by dividing it periodically into several pieces later.

[BenjiTooManly]

Day 4

2/12/2014

 

I'm not sure if this is applicable, but since this is in the realm of imagination, I decided that Iona may change clothes to display different range of emotion.

 

Design wise and trait wise, I have got it down pretty much correctly. Now, since I read somewhere that parroting and puppetting could be done in 1 week, I decided to include another countdown.

 

Day 1/7

 

Couldn't get meditation right, and end up getting groggy and extreme need of sleep. I guess this could be either because of my high adrenaline life, or that I'm inducing trance instead.

 

On a side note, Iona may have shown a sign of sentience, since I could sense her presence, albeit only if I concentrate and try to feel it, since hyperfocusing makes me forget everything on the scene. On a side note, I could sense her just as well when I think of the other OC I have made in my day dreams but was unable to write them down. It could be possible that most OC are still pre-tulpa template that I didn't consider.

 

May try to train lucid dreaming to help create wonderland.

[BenjiTooManly]

Day 5

3/12/2014

 

In the morning, couldn't feel her presence extremely solid. However, going to evening and night, her presence seems to be more noticeable. It is possible that since I am kind of tired in the morning and more tired after being punished for being late, I couldn't really imagine her really well.

 

Active forcing is going haywire, and all my thoughts are jumbled and couldn't stay still (the urge to need to go somewhere is strong) . However, today's meditation is going really successful, and an evening nap makes me more able to feel her.

 

Day 2/7

Parroting & Puppeting

 

Couldn't really parrot alot due to habit, but puppeting seems easy enough to do. Most of the time puppeting, I could sense her. Though most of the time I doubt my own thinking, I decided that I should learn to trust my subconscious, since these things are meant to be 'believed' in a sort of manner.

 

There wasn't alot of alien emotional response except that strange comfortness of knowing that someone is there, watching me doing things and sometimes narrating to her, often sometimes I forgot to narrate to her due to hyperfocus.

 

One thing I speculate, she could be a night owl ;]

[BenjiTooManly]

4/12/2014

Day 6

One thing I noticed, albeit not really clear or blurry, that she had already deviated a little from the design. Change of color in hair to more natural coloring and simplification of the design. Just another food for sentient thought.

 

I realized, that using too much online experiences doesn't really help, but harm alot of my progress. I decided to reduce my overall internet usage to simply blogging about Iona's progress, since the feeling for her presence starts getting stronger and stronger, albeit she didn't really give any emotional response and was silent. Could be a type of timid tulpa?

 

Traits that we're previously made we're thrown away. Since those were to hard to maintain, I'll just imagine her around and see how she will react.

 

Still not sure if her form of communication is now body language, but I'll just assume so.

 

UPDATE:

I JUST FUCKING HEARD HER SOUND

Sounds like "Okay", albeit I first misinterpret it as POCAY, and it is fucking clear as hell, like right beside my right ear.

 

Gonna try Eye-Bo to help with visualization. Just before sleep. Lucid dreaming failed like for 2 nights, so I think I should train that again.

 

Day 3/7

Narrating & Puppeting

[BenjiTooManly]

5/12/2014

Day 7

 

After much decision, I decided to further detail her traits, since I just half-assed my way through it :I

 

Doing the GGMethos' concentration exercise and Jean-luc's image rendering technique just to improve overall visualization.

 

Changed my way of active forcing my Iona, instead of imagining random scenario, directly stared at her. I get that strange and eerie feeling again. Also, thanks for Schlondark's method by using symbolism. Even though I still puppeted and parroted her to help on it, but not using it too much.